yeah today

the sun it came out the sun it shined sent a sunbeam right up my ass circled around burst out through the prism within my ears sprayed out color coupled with a little grey matter fucked me up right side up sunny side up sidestepped the scramble passed over the poach screwed the pooch sent a wicked little shiver right up my spine reached down my pants squeezed my nuts how could something so hot be so blue and cool the sun it came out

today yeah

slept late after crashing hard drove a friend to emo ain’t that something ain’t that heroic say a prayer for jesus it’s only words and words are all eye have to take your heart away slept late after crashing hard after watching the dude on my big forty inch aitch dee watching the nihilists piss on the dude’s carpet the fucking nihilists are pissing on my carpet too fuck eye needed one of his white russians to get to sleep

just like eye needed a white ukrainian hooker maybe a solid dozen while they stood outside my hotel in tel aviv back in my curiosity killed the cat days eye got more angst than doan’s got pills eye got

fugazi

on my eye pod baby ain’t they emo it’s not over it’s not over eye said here comes the kiss off

the sun it came out deep breaths rise and shine my man vee he says hey it’s only thirteen miles hey it’s only

half

of a real marathon what you got to worry about fuck what’s he got to worry about he’s eight years younger forty pounds lighter cocksucker runs like a gazelle he caught me in a weak moment two weeks ago sitting out on the balcony forty floors up in vegas overlooking the parched prairie eye don’t think eye ever fucked in vegas ain’t that a shame

eye ain’t ever fucked in lincoln either

eye fucked you in san francisco eye fucked you in oakland eye fucked in you atlanta eye fucked you in denver eye fucked you in washington dee cee eye fucked you in ell ay eye fucked you in san diego eye fucked you in france where oh where will eye fuck you next

eye ain’t never fucked vee either eye just don’t think eye swing that way eye mean eye hate to close any doors eye hate to deny a potential future but don’t you know it takes two to tango so even if eye was ready willing able eye don’t think the vee man could go down low that way eye mean let’s face it on any given day he maybe probably could and on any given day eye maybe probably could but the odds of those given days coming on the same numbered box in the calendar is just a little bit far fetched coming together on it at the same time well the stars would just have to align in that special way but hey if it makes you feel any better in this day of fag loving tolerance hell we might even let the fudge packers marry one another one day hell we might let ‘em fuck each other while they wear army outfits shit eye remember

speaking of tel aviv

eye remember one time at david ben gurion airport eye was leaving tel aviv eye won the lottery eye was interviewed by this gorgeous redhead in cammo and a dark green beret goddamn she spoke to me sharply her curly red hair flowing down onto her shoulders she questioned me she tried to catch me with inconsistencies eye stumbled on purpose hoping she would continue the interview in some dark room tie me to a chair put me under the bare light bulb goddamn maybe she’d take her shirt off and straddle my lap whisper accusations into my ear bite the lobe until it bleeds

but that ain’t got nothing to do with faggots unless maybe she was a he if so then call me a faggot hell my girlfriend she fucks me like a gay man eye call her bruce but hey if it makes you feel any better sometimes me and vee sometimes

we share spit

but me and vee we’ve just finished a run we’re sitting out on the balcony exhausted smoking cigarettes smoking joints sharing spit saying to each other yeah staring out across the sun baked backdrop while we toast on the terrace we say we gotta do something about this smoking thing man he says tapping out a marlboro light from a new pack tap tap he says hey let’s run a marathon eye say lighting up a bowl eye say fuck that he says click click of the bic he says what about

half

eye say digging a wet chunk of fallen ash from the pool of sweat collected in my bare belly button eye say

deal

eye am nothing if not a keen negotiator eye once got fifty percent off a blow job because the hooker couldn’t keep her teeth in and while some of you may think some of you may ask where can i find a hooker with no teeth eye have to tell you that ain’t the point my friend there ain’t nothing so terrifying as to withdraw from a lovely mouth only to have a pair of dentures wrapped around the meat in question

no face attached

so yeah today the sun it came out the sun it does shine it does and eye’m gonna run far and wide wake up rise and shine reach for the sky reach for the stars my fucking toe is killing me broke it kicking the dog years ago kicked the shit out of my big ass rottweiler she tried to eat a german shepherd eye kicked her hard broke my fucking toe hurt like hell still does the little cocksucker is killing me now eye run anyway eye’m a fucking man a real he man

he man the most powerful man in the universe

eye could cut off my left fucking foot and my right fucking hand tie my other hand behind my back and still run that fucking race eye’m that tough eye could run that race pogo sticking on my dick all thirteen point one miles including that stretch over the golden gate bridge

he man the most powerful man in the universe but eye cry when eye’m by myself at night

eye do the deed eye run down to the froth of the pacific down along ocean beach down through the park along the horse trails on the north side past the disc golf course where rasta locked children and their hippie jock parents pitch plastic plates at chain link cages perched on poles tucked within the trees and dirt and bushes and lions and tigers and bears where two phat fat men of the disc canvas tote bags on their shoulders are searching through the rough a patch of tangled vines and dead tree branches searching for something long ago lost

such bad murderous dreams we all have baby you need to be able to wake me up tell me all about it

searching yeah eye’m always searching fuck turning over rocks poking my stick into the bush kicking dead animal carcasses rather scared of what eye might find

down the horse trails to the beach the ocean it sparkles like your eyes the wind ripping it up the sun it shines through the drops it glimmers across the breaks an army of little tinkerbells on shimmering surfboards goddamn tis no wonder eye’m in love

across the path behind the beach chalet past home of biker roughs rock and roll keg parties and gang bangs on the beach current home of moneyed touristas sipping iced teas and micro brews in brown bottles watching the pacific ocean through protective glass my oh my the world it is so civilized goddamn eye long for the taste perhaps just a morsel of civilization

won’t you please oh won’t you

across the path behind the beach chalet swing low sweet chariot the scruffy boys in leather jackets and loose jeans wander from behind bushes puffy brucey mustaches damp from crotch exploration deep within the scrub they don’t bother with the pride celebration going on downtown they don’t need pride they are beyond pride they are only interested in the carnal pleasures of the moment of the morning fuck tomorrow we may all be dead give them their dick now they’ll worry about tomorrow later

up the back side of the park passing sunday morning joggers sunday morning sprinters passing me shit me eye’m just running got my earbuds booming music that eye don’t really hear thoughts ramble with the bass and drum thoughts of you thoughts of love hate betrayal god jesus you know normal day to day mind wanderings

over the river and through the woods my what long teeth you have grandma

great googly mooglies

back home back to my home that is not my home back home to the house that eye pay for but don’t occupy my it’s a fine looking place my it’s a nice number on my balance sheet buy low sit high eye do get high a little ganja groove then shit shower shave catch the bus to the castro

my oh my the cute young dykes on their way to the parade eye just want to scoop them up and give them a big old uncle phattie hug eye love them all each and every one eye don’t care if they’d just as soon see my balls laminated hanging from their respective rear view mirrors hey eye got big balls eye got enough for all of you come on girls do with me what ye must do eye’m game eye’m scrabble and twister wrapped up in a dirty old man package

most of you will grow out of it anyway

get married to some skinhead with a job move to the suburbs have kids become addicted to lunesta quaaludes and kahlua and pepsi because it’s so much cooler than coke press your face up against the screen door every morning as the asshole pulls out of the driveway in his ess you vee with the knobby tires dual exhaust moon roof padded steering wheel watch all my children religiously but defer all religious thoughts until after the kids have moved out to join the army and go to eye rack because we’ll probably still be there blowing up babies and sucking down black gold texas tea

kinfolks said jed move away from there said californy is the place you want to be

that’s where eye want to be years ago loaded up the truck head beverly must have taken a wrong turn at albuquerque ended up here in faggotville you ess ay goddamn eye love it the parade though this pride thing hell eye know eye know eye should revel in it eye guess eye’m an old curmudgeon eye just can’t stand the fucking thing why you may ask it’s quite selfish eye know but hell eye don’t like the bay to breakers eye don’t like the concerts in the park eye don’t like street fairs eye don’t like these goddamn presidential motorcades

although bush he don’t come like clinton did

and eye especially don’t like fleet week eye mean eye really despise fleet week gay boy sailors in their little white outfits those tight bell bottom pants they been doing the submarine on each other for three four months now they land in san francisco looking for honest wholesome fun maybe a visit to the fisherman’s wharf maybe some boiled crab maybe a stroll up the hill to coit tower maybe a game of skeeball maybe a round of highballs

eye just don’t like the crowds

they mess up my flow they harsh my mellow eye change buses at divisadero jump off the five wait for the twenty four it never comes eye hump it over the hill down down into the bowels of the castro all the chaps are there dressed in their finest boys dressed like women ladies dressed like tough guys it’s a party it’s a celebration hey they’re prideful we’re prideful we are the cathedral on the hill for faggots and dykes

eye think eye fucked a faggot once never fucked a dyke

into the castro a little this a little that the sun breaks in through the window blueberries devoured fingers and toes how is it those marks you leave get noticed down in the castro eye have to explain that eye have bed bugs eye have to explain nothing love and rockets need no explanation

headed back over the hill fuck the bus call my man joe who lives in the haight eye climb the hill up and over red rover red rover we sit up in his mighty fine smoking room he my man joe he rolls the world’s most perfect joint it is a superior product he puts in time and effort and love and dedication and most importantly he uses mighty fine weed that sticky green stuff that melts in your mind not in your hand it’s better than a lot of pussy eye’ve met that eye’ve experienced this one he called purple balls or some name some fucked up hippie up in mendo placed upon her sweet ganja self a blessing of sorts we sit up in his smoking room in the big chairs sitting in the bay window overlooking page street all the young cuties walking by in their hey it’s hot in san francisco clothes

he gets me properly stoned stumbling stoned eye wander around to balazo for a couple of chile verde tacos a plate of beans rice guac chips peppers yeah the weed went straight to my stomach the love goes straight to my head must be why eye’m dizzy eye eat with gusto eye eat with abandon eye eat while reading the new york times sunday week in review

stories about eye rack of course always somebody opining about eye rack here’s my opinion it doesn’t exist we don’t care it simply ain’t there any more people still go to work people still go to the ball game people still go to disney land people still go to tupperware parties people still cross the border to canada

why eye just don’t fucking know

eye mean other than the weed that bee see green it be the finest

people still go to canada people still get their nails done people still watch reruns of seinfeld people still eat dreamsicles which should not be confused with creamsicles people still go to the beach to watch the sunset to catch a wave to catch a buzz people still wander around aimlessly stoned through the park

eye know eye have eye know eye do eye know eye will again

love and rockets

eye slurp down my horchata the last taste of cinnamon coating my tongue the last word on eye rack remaining on the table with a couple of squeezed limes and a plate clean except for two black beans two pieces of lettuce and a full unbroken tortilla chip

the final leg home through the park down through the tunnel at the stanyan end run a gauntlet of leather clad hoboes with pit bulls on leashes connected to studded collars every other one stepping up to me keeping a respectful distance for my space hey it is san francisco whispering not quite whispering but a low voice nonetheless conspiratorial eye half expected one of them to open his leather duster

pssst hey mac want to buy a watch

but no they are peddling different wares they ask hey looking for some bud hey got bud here hey digging some bud eye smile at each one of them say nah brah eye’m good wander by hippie hill the drum circle still going strong a dude with a coronet wails another dude taps sticks on the asphalt a couple of scarf clad women wiggle wiggle wiggle eye watch eye listen eye wiggle a bit myself

eye close my eyes and wiggle

yeah wiggle wiggle eye close my eyes and wiggle

love and rockets and sunday it just comes to a close

the sun it rises the day it’s done the sun it sets pride sunday and all that

 

 

 

 

she says

shape shifting sugar

her words echo through me eye don’t need no headphones for the message to get through eye feel it like the deep bass reverb at a wailers show in some dive bar in kingston way down deep in trenchtown down deep within the dungle

one good thing about music when it hits you feel no pain

it rumbles the train the bart train the reverb rumbling through me like her love when it hits eye feel no pain like her lust when it hits eye feel no pain feel it coming from deep within her throat eye can feel it when eye have my hands wrapped around it that gurgling that struggling to breathe while eye fuck her

yeah it rumbles

sitting on the train bob he shot the sheriff me eye’m sitting back eyes half closed letting the train rock my body rock my loins rock my love goddamn it rumbles some dude this dude he wears a nike hat that caps the big bold bose noise reduction

goddamn eye never want her noise reduced eye only want to turn up the volume

eye so dig it when she screams for me when she screams from me let me let me hear it pierce my ears pierce my nipples bite me leave her mark big and bold

big bold bose noise reduction headphones sitting astride his well trimmed half-balding noggin you can tell even beneath the hat sitting atop his head cupping his ears he’s some alien bug-eyed refugee from area fifty one reading his wrinkled dubya ess jay with a comfortable capitalist consideration fully cognizant that it’s all just a game a roll of  the dice a random placement of the pieces on the board some friendly some not so friendly most of whom could give a shit all of whom secretly know that it’s simply the grace of god that allows them to cash in their chips that allows them to

play in the schoolyard
 
and just like the school yard it sometimes lends itself to the laws of natural selection god will weed them god will weed us out these passengers on bart they tend to be of a different sort they got stuff they got accoutrements that your ordinary joe schmoe ain’t necessarily gonna have little old lady with suitcases piled onto a cart that looks like it should be transporting oxygen tanks with all sorts of knobs to twist and turn all sorts of hoses to huff eye pod ear buds dangling from most everyone especially the young ladies ah the young tourista ladies coming for fun and adventure here in san francisco california land of milk and honey is that california is that israel

what the fuck

eye don’t remember eye don’t care eye got a bus to catch fuck one is run by a nazi refugee one is run by a refugee from the nazis the nazi has turned environmental refugee the refugee has turned to national socialist apartheid my oh my tis no wonder the world is crazy oh so crazy indeed in this land of at least a little bit of honey

she is such sweet dripping honey

oh darling just let that button slip it’s already half way undone eye just know if it slips we’re facing an avalanche of bobbing breast from that blouse she knows oh she knows that she’s torturing me if eye didn’t love and respect those sweet things so much oh girlfriend

she might could call me a misogynist

but baby but sugar but baby she knows eye love her so she knows eye have the utmost respect for her and hers and her little love muffin with the cute little love pattern shaved in with that micro razor eye want to add to it with my indelible marker my sharpie eye want to paint my name on the back of her throat with my cock dipped in chocolate

just call me matisse missus

yeah

she says

shape shifting sugar

her smell oh her smell natural selection eye’m driving across the golden gate bridge it’s all bright and sunny and blue skied and beautiful and wonderful and fresh yeah so fresh take a deep breath goddamn yoga breath yoga love stretch for her love eye stretch for her cuntful of love her loving cunt her cunning love driving across the golden gate bridge sunshine on my shoulder the hairs on my left arm bleached by the bitch above that golden insistence of light warmth yeah dig follow the light just follow the light

don’t be afraid of the dark

driving across the golden gate bridge orange makes me thirsty eye hit that wall of fog the delineation is so succinct the world it simply shifts eye’m transmogrified into a haunting shade auntie em auntie em falling driving falling driving fatboy slim is fucking in heaven driving through the thick pea soup of the ocean’s aerie ooze eye’m riding her from behind she smells so fresh so showery fresh roses are red violence is deep deep blue eye’m going to nail her ass on the morning dew goddamn

she says

shape shifting sugar

the train it rumbles goddamn her throat it rumbles gurgles she smells ah the aroma ah the fresh scent my nose is buried within the nape of her neck she lays on her stomach across the softness of her bed my forearm across the softness of her back holding her down pinning her goddamn eye pine for her pinning her wrestlemania hold number three seven nine patent pending my hand my free hand grasps her shoulder leaving fingerprint bruises on such tender translucent skin pulling her toward me pulling her down down down thrusting up up up into her each thrust eliciting a moan a whimper a surrender the freshness ah the fresh scent of recently soaped cunt

the pounding goddamn the pounding it’s

a slutty slamfuck

eye walk in off the street the quiet of the cityscape bright sunny juneteenth day a day lived in infamy bright blue skies walk in the through the swinging doors of shanghai kelly’s goddamn where did the cigarette smoke go what good is a bar without cigarettes poor fucks smoking on the sidewalk eye walk past them inhaling oh yes sugar eye do inhale eye breathe her in eye suck her down walk past them swing through the doors the doors swing eye swing goddamn eye swing for her my world it changes peaceful ordinary transmogrifies into a haunting shade easy transcends into raucous bawdy drunk women lay on the bar lay on the tables tops off tits bouncing it’s

a slutty slamfuck

she writes in her personal ad she says i need a testimonial i need a testament i need tribute eye say gimme that thing eye say here’s your fucking eye witness

jimbobjoebob he say this woman she got the most purrfect pussy in the world

there you have it what else need be said

she says

shape shifting sugar

she smells ah the aroma ah the fresh scent my nose is buried deep within endless pounding eye fuck her like an animal full grunt going going groveling gone eye snort her love the sweat breaks the delineation is so succinct this smell this scent this stink sweeps over me earthy musky cunty obliterates the fresh smells ah the stank of cock cum crack of love and lurid lust eye’m transmogrified into a haunting shade

pussy puffs pouts

she whimpers eye grunt

collapse

covered engulfed enmeshed trapped in that funky smell

goddamn

the train rumbles on rumbles on down into the tunnels down through the dungle trench town baby eye shot the sheriff she redeems me she does rumble me onto sleep rumble me through my dreams protect me enshroud me let me walk this earth lo eye walk through the valley eye of death eye shall not fear thy cunt my staff goddamn

shape shifting and all that

she says

via high fidelity mobility voice crisp clear yet distant the other room some other city one the same eye close my eyes so eye can see hers there is living there is weariness there if life she says i don’t know how to love a ghost i have too many ghosts in my life she dances she dances up there in her wooded glen up there in her protected little valley that offers such little protection that is oh so lovely in the daytime that is rather haunting once evening comes once the veil is lifted the wisps of fog drifting through the redwoods down through the canyons spiriting stolen breath the breaths of love lost fondness found let me let me look through your lens snap it snap it freeze it label it slide it into a frame

call it art

the song says

we live as we dream

alone

eye look in the mirror but see no reflection a fucking caspar eye hear tell he was one of the wise men a magi who traveled from afar the little lord jesus asleep in the hay hell jesus himself is a ghost to me these days be near me lord jesus eye ask thee to stay little lord jesus eye would cross the desert to find thee eye would cross the desert to find you and mary magdalene for love eye have crossed the desert for love

parched it gives me succor

she says

her head sliding into view from the kitchen door a smile not a grin a smile slipping through blessing the room she says you shouldn’t drink water you know fish fuck in it eye say high definition thoughts of fish frolicking fucky fucky forget me knots

eye say

yeah that’s why eye like it eye guess my granddaddy he say boy it smell like fish do what you wish my granddaddy he say boy it’s all pink on the inside my granddaddy he say boy don’t know why i call you boy goddamned hair long like a girl’s come over here lemme cut it off with this pocket knife shear you like a sheep

my granddaddy he a ghost my granddaddy he a ghost before he even died he just wanted to set out on the river in his boat with his rod and reel and his lures and bait he liked to be out there by himself closer his god to thee he hated god fucking god cursed him with three daughters and a faggot teacher son who married a librarian turned to the church rather than man up to his faggot self my granddaddy he married off his daughters forgot about his namesake faggot son he set his boat out on the river he chased fish all over the walter eff george reservoir all over lake eufaula through every little dipshit pond creek and river between there and cuthbert

a fish swam in those waters a fish that held the wisdom of the world my granddaddy’s world my granddaddy badass ahab bastard with both his legs he hunted that fish he tracked that fish his entire life

winds whisper they slip in through her window at night the winds they whisper voices of a life unknown a life parallel apple pie turned peach sweet mother of god our heads full of knowledge we don’t even know our heads burst forth from some strange familiar cunt twisting turning a little slap on the tuchus gasping for breath the chill of the world slaps us as well

goddamn it’s cold

ten fingers ten toes they just assume we’re oh kay

she says whispering with gritted teeth don’t you ever call me cute eye’m thinking she’s just joking eye joke back oh baby but you do be so cute she says no you don’t understand nobody calls me that i ask my friends i say hey am i cute they shake their heads they back off they say no no no we don’t go there

note to self

she says into the cell phone eye close my eyes so eye can see hers she says i won’t love a ghost i can’t love a ghost i have enough ghosts in my life eye close my eyes eye can see them swirling about her they dance all about her she is a scarf dance in the parking lot outside the show tickets tickets i need a miracle i need a miracle every day eye look in the mirror eye don’t see a thing the canterville ghost miserable in its existence

for gods sake they even removed the blood stain from the floor

she says she folds up into the chair legs crossed a magical yogi wisdom smoothing the skin she leans over she says

you know my friend she died

she says a tilt of the head a lilt of the self she says they found her sitting in the lotus position she had been meditating they think maybe three days maybe dead for three days who knows found her still in the lotus position

oh jesus please take me gently lift me from the face of the cliff let me fall up

she says her eyes wandering toward distraction we had her send off we prayed for her to continue her journey god it was just so nice to be able to sit and think for a couple of hours yeah they found her in the lotus position she had been meditating breathing breathe in breathe out lather rinse repeat we do it all day long every day she breathes she stops breathing heart stops

spirit soars

she says bathed in a sweet sadness floating naked in a pool of rose petals mary on the cross she says she is gone to us though she remains she’s a ghost she swirls about around  one more ghost to love i can’t love a ghost don’t be a fucking ghost i won’t have a fucking ghost i have enough ghosts the shadows the walls the shadows on the walls

they won’t hold me in the night their embrace sends a shiver they touch me they are not welcome

you know my friend she died

eye have crossed the desert for love parched it gives me succor

ghosts who walk and all that

 

 

 

eye have to have you

eye know it ain’t right eye know it ain’t oh kay but eye have to have you eye got no patience eye ain’t got none of that intestinal fortitude eye got no stern discipline all eye got is a jones for you all eye got is a knot in my dick

eye have to have you 

eye don’t care eye don’t give a flying fuck where you are eye don’t care eye don’t give a flying fuck what you’re doing

goddamn you fuck me up eye fly for you

eye can fly eye can eye so want to fly eye will run to fort funston hard and fast eye’ll  keep on running eye got my own personal kite miz sugaree you are my wings eye am icarus you are the sun eye flap my arms eye fly baby eye fly for you pull me closer melt my wax send me falling down to earth eye am the little plane that could eye think eye can eye think eye can just flap my arms

soaring roaring kalamazoo

goddamn you your love it fucks me up

walking down polk street walking around walking down on my knees my knees worn raw like my little kid self riding my stingray bike them butterfly handlebars that tiger skin banana seat hauling ass down dixon’s hill tar and gravel road hit a rock front wheel spins down and around bare skin on the sharpness of the afternoon blood on the tracks knees worn raw walking down polk street arm around you pull you close say to you lean over to your oh so lovely modigliani ears say to you so that every woman we pass eye want their attention eye want their thoughts on you eye have to say eye have to say aloud to you my magdalene whore tell you how eye love to fuck you how eye love to take you how eye love to bend you over with no mercy how eye want to take you by the hair throw you down on the mattress fuck you like the animal that vessel of your desire

eye want a turn of the head a rise in the eyebrow

eye really want to fuck you in the window of the apartment eye want to fuck you the way you fuck me up goddamn you your love it fucks me up

walking down polk street up green street up and over the hill past apartments flats tall tall buildings with doormen views of the moon o’er the east full moon rising hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle eye am your little dog eye laugh to see such sport down the steep steep stairs side by side on either side of the rail san francisco evening an eerie calm dip down into north beach the world spins in lights and chatter and sirens and laughs and giggles and music and the smells of chinatown melding into little italy shuffle the cards cut the deck fuck me up goddamn you your love it fucks me up

eye want to fly eye want to run to fort funston run up and over the sandy dunes dig dig dig up the hill keep on running sprint across the parking lot legs kicking feel the burn feel the burn the thighs goddamn they burn the lungs goddamn they burn the vein in my neck it throbs it pounds arms pumping fuck they’re heavy swing ‘em man eye want to fly eye want to leap into the sky

eye want a turn of the head a rise in the eyebrow

look ma a man some guy just jumped off the cliff the boy he dances waves sings and spins his big floppy mutt soaking wet matted fur spotted with damp dirt dancing along side him on the tightly packed sand oozing with the retreat of the tide he says doing the hokey pokey he sings dude’s gonna fall in the rocks become one with nature she says the ma she says shading her eyes with a hand pale and delicate looking up from the beach the waves crashing behind her the roar the steady roar sea gulls rising to give cover harping harping eight track mix with the wind blowing across the sea oats a symphonic phil glass backdrop glass half full she says

nah

she says putting one hand on her hip the other one pointing carol merrill dancing to cheap trick she says look boy he’s flying he’s flying like a goddamn bird never seen anything like that in my whole life just wait until i tell your father

holy cannoli

has this maraschino cherry half a one on each end a touch of unnatural red stain on the ricotta stain on the sheets the imagery crude but telling sitting out on columbus street drinking a bitter lemon eating my cannoli daintily at first with a little spoon to hell with it pick it up eat it like a fucking taco baby eye so dig your sweet meat taco how many bites in a cannoli well let’s find out one two-hoo three crunch goddamn you your love it fucks me up

glass half full

cab back through the tunnel pay the man you say a sharp command a crop to the ass a face in the pillow cock to cunt

a vicious fuck

a swim a sauna a shit a shave some afternoon cha your tits goddamn your tits how do eye love them let me lick suckle nibble the ways let me leave my mark my brand upon your breast goddamn you your love it fucks me up blind fold me girlfriend you burn you smoke cigarette sizzles on my naked chest your love baby it burns you leave your brand on me you leave your mark

some visible some deep and scarring

some day eye will return the favor a strop across the ass an indelible mark on your soul a wound that never heals a disfiguring hold on your very being you will not be able to walk without feeling the stab of my love the puncture of my cock the mark of my tongue

eye have to have you

eye know it ain’t right eye know it ain’t oh kay but eye have to have you eye got no patience eye ain’t got none of that intestinal fortitude eye got no stern discipline all eye got is a jones for you goddamn you your love it fucks me up

a turn of the head a rise of the eyebrow and all that

 

 

 

 

woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing it’s a client calling ring a ding fucking ding eye’m torn should eye or shouldn’t eye does she or doesn’t she eye let it ring through oh the guilt fuck eye’ll get over it hey eye’m on vacation for crissake eye need eye need eye think eye hit the pillows around three slept through all the way through unless you count the couple of times eye had to get up and piss considered albeit it briefly but considered nonetheless just pissing my bed but didn’t well never seriously goddamn eye think eye more flowed out than eye could have possibly put in last night

eye roll over and sit up yeah sometimes eye beg sometimes eye fetch you know eye do baby you place it right up there in that special place you just know your jack russell terrier gonna go fetch your love fetch your fever you know eye just wanna be your dog eye roll over eye sit up

eye hack up half a lung

although we tried to follow on attorney’s advice our consigliore who told us in no uncertain terms to consume all we could before vegas we failed miserably we are well stocked perhaps overstocked eye’m afraid we were afraid of possible circumstances eye mean what if the car broke down in the desert way outside of cell range fuck the water what would we do without weed we need copious amounts of ganja to survive the heat we failed to consume it all we had plenty enough to much again to carry us through the night

although we tried

eye read the paper on the porcelain throne yes cliché but this morning the phrase just fits so well eye am ruler eye am the exalted king of all eye can view read the paper two flusher eye am rehabilitated cleansed eye wish eye could finish with a green tea enema

but that’s just because eye’m already still stoned

me and swami we hit the gym gotta stay fit for my baby if eye don’t fuck sugar hard and rough she laughs at me she makes fun of me gotta stay in shape swami he says save some for the finish funny that’s what sugar says too says save some for the finish we run up the thirty six flights of stairs eye’m easily carrying fifty more pounds than swami skinny fuck that he is we twist up the winding metal and concrete trail winding winding my heart pounding eye feel it in my temples

eye cough up the other half of my lung

eye drink forty seven gallons of water we bake a bit eye stand to pee in that exhausted state of relaxation eye stand in front of the toilet large mirror before me my flaccid yet fleshy meek yet meaty cock filling my hand feeling rather heavy eye gauge the heft it feels the heaviness of love given and love yet to give

eye shower eye don’t shave eye feel manly eye stand in my towel on the balcony we bake a bit beyond before bowls of diesel swami brings out his bong it’s balcony bong hits we rappel downstairs in our black ninja outfits hit the buffet just miss breakfast they’re switching it out for lunch bagels become breadsticks eye grab a biscuit a side of bacon a bunch of fruit eye gotta get regular baby don’t make me have to bring out the metamucile that’s a trademark don’t you know eye don’t want to get into any trouble eye don’t want to get some letter in the mail some letter from some attorney do we cheat ‘em and how some letter telling me that eye need to cease and desist linking their trademarked name no matter how loose the linkage linking the erotic and moreover enjoyable use of metamucile to debauched marijuana smoking and anal fingerplay cap off breakfast with frozen vanilla custard sitting atop a fresh berry zabaglione buried in crunchy granola just try and

tell me that ain’t erotic

tell me to kneel down before thee and suckle thy toes

and eye will

we play some cards a little hold ‘em eye lose miserably sandman he wins brags it’s because he didn’t smoke dope in the morning we tell him to

shut the fuck up

we retire to the room mid afternoon ingest a brownie from doctor fred more medicine for our frazzled flesh balcony bongs to top it off it’s a weekend calling for general buzz management the pool we get a cabana down by the pool we ogle young women we ogle older women we have a varied taste there are several eye do indeed want to taste eye want to taste what she had for breakfast let me reach way way up there

bacon with maple syrup

nostril nectar rectal rhapsody

tis what a wonderful thought to have to imagine that revelation that moment of truth when she goes from mystery muffin to succulent treat melts in your mouth melts in your hand

swami soon to be known as bangalore fats should he continue to win at the tables swami he says yea tho i walk in the valley of darkness eye believe that

eye will sin tonight

we all say amen swami he coats us all with a blessing of love he ingests the magical cookie lo jesus said eat of my flesh drink of my blood the cabana gives us respite from the sun but not from the heat we slide into the pool there is so much beautiful eye candy in all sorts of beautiful wrappers slip sliding away they are precious in my sight red and yellow black and white eye love all the women of the world my granddaddy he say boy it’s all pink on the inside eye can find redeeming qualities in every woman and hey some men possibly what the fuck my heart my soul my cock they all say in unison in three part harmony they say

we will sin tonight

poolside bliss a photographic moment so still long exposure let it settle into the film perhaps miz kate could capture it through her lens raw digital capture every fucking pixel eye’m on my lounge chair sitting up legs stretched out jah has taken my soul into custody left my body to sizzle she sizzles in front of me the backs of her feet maybe twenty feet from mine she on her stomach all eye know of her are the dirty pads on the bottoms of her lovely well arched feet the twin horizontal runways up the calves along the thighs so tanned cresting atop the solid callipygian clefts d’amour twin half domes of love an oh so skinny stretch of thong slicing through coupling with the taught dimples defining the thigh from the ass to form a cute smiley face

ah the joy of prayer

after a while she rises a lovely surprise no not a surprise more of a simple blessing of the universe she rises she is a lovely gentlewoman of our age the shade of maturity worn with grace and beauty eye want to bury my face within the fold of her weighted breasts challenging gravity little but right now making the neighborhood a better place

swami he lounges next to me he reads swami my spirited spiritual guide he prepares for our next lesson he reads of the history of people he reads of the bhakti-yoga all paths of love of god they converge

eventually

he gives me faith that my meandering path my journey it will get me to that place that eye need to be to that place where eye can just rest my head and breathe that’s all eye need that’s all eye want all eye ever wanted

eye just want to breathe

baby you are mouth to mouth you brought me back to life you are the paddles you screamed

clear

you sent you send electricity through my body from my cock to my heart and back out erupting in a jism of life on the small of your back eye want to rub the cum of my very being all over your ass

eye will lick you clean by morning

why can’t eye ever stop thinking about fucking you my last dying thought will be of that feeling of my cock deep way deep inside your cunt my meat within your meat my cock rises eye’m on my chair zoned stoned wi’ da bone eye think of fucking you they say sandman he says hey let’s go to the pool eye have to say hey eye’m good eye’ll join you in a minute

try to think about baseball

shut the fuck up you say kick the ball out of the picture your sweet ass on my bat eye smack it hard and deep into center my tent pole trunks not letting me up once again you have me hogtied

later the old man next to me at the table his wife is standing next to me he looks up to her he says honey eye’m going to marry that young girl over there he nods at the cocktail waitress she pats him on the head he says he asks her will you fly me here buy me a ticket catch a plane next week to marry her

he is my hero

eye want to be him in twenty years he’s a crusty fuck he flirts with the cocktail waitress asks her to marry him asks her to just hell let’s get up and walk over to the chapel right now he hands her a handful of chips she winks she grins she giggles she wiggles off to the next table he wins the hand on the river eye lean over tell him he better win a lot more she ain’t gonna marry him for his good looks

brenda the dealer she calls me a wise ass says eye can sit on an ice cream cone tell her what flavor it is then she deals me the next hand a winner

me and brenda we got a thing going on

eye finally burn out burn off the tables eye have sensory overload eye can’t focus on the cards there is simply too much going on out there eye close it down head back to the room swami though he remains he becomes bangalore skinny he wins hand after hand we leave him behind with his spoils

only to return later in the evening

perhaps into the morning eye don’t know but bangalore skinny

contrasted to our friend the goombah jabba the goombah jackal of the tables bets with wild abandon he flew down to vegas we said hey man why don’t you just drive down with us partake of the adventure he smiled he laughed he said

shut the fuck up

swami he stumbles back in we left a loaded chocolate mint bong his pillow it’s a non-smoking room so he steps into the hallway smokes his bong provides smoky relief to the general public steps back into the suite

rinse repeat

we retire we float we settle in exhausted we’re schmucks we act like schmucks we love like schmucks we are who we are

hunter ess and all that

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she the lovely young lass behind the hertz counter she in her tight white starched blouse barely hiding in that semi professional manner barely hiding what must be youthful handfuls of luscious breastful flesh nipples praying to the sun goddamn she says where you guys going we smile we haven’t yet ingested the first of fifty dollars worth of medicinal marijuana cookies we have yet to light up the first of several hundred dollars worth of judiciously rolled sweet mendocino green bud we smile we say in unison in three part harmony we sing

vegas baby

we slide into a silver cadillac me sandman and swami we slide onto one oh one we’re taking the long route yeah we’re headed to vegas it’s our annual memorial hunter ess thompson memorial drive across the desert we have assorted drugs in various containers some airtight some not we have lust in our hearts we have limp middle age cocks that surprise us with random erections when we least expect it we have music on our eye pods we don’t have our attorney but each of our respective mommas wanted us to be grow up to be lawyers and we each carry the phone number of our favorite bail bondsmen we have pussy and poke her and poker on our conscious and subconscious meanderings weaved in between brief thoughts of managing our anticipated loss of funds

sandman pulls up the cookie the label on the package it says medical use only keep out of children’s reach not for resale we all nod in agreement we will not resale this cookie as a matter of fact we will just have at it right now ah the early morning well mid morning crinkle of the tearing of the cellophane protecting the kif tainted peanut butter pastry not too bad a little dry the peets coffee washes it down sandman pulls out a pre-rolled joint nice perv green lovingly packed into a thin coconut palm leaf weave complete with cardboard filter

goddamn

click click sizzle baby twenty minutes later we’re flying we’re debating the intricate details both pro and con of the benefit packages allotted our brave and daring men in blue and red risking their lives for mere pennies do they risk more than coal miners is their job more dangerous than being a migrant worker picking lettuce soaked in fertilizer and pesticides in salinas

sandman he can’t fucking figure out the stereo it’s more complex than a goddamn nuclear knew-cue-ler power plant we switch drivers not so much that swami is tired of driving but because sandman is a fucking idiot and we must have priorities we need to figure out this cocksucking fancy cadillac stereo we need tunes we need a blanket of aural love to comfort us in our high perhaps too high as we careen down the highway to paso robles our nerves becoming cannabis strained in that sort of paranoid kind of way in that state highway patrol car following you for three hundred and twelve out of the last fifteen miles driven kind of feeling but

fuck

swami he is a disappointment to his entire race of technical support people he has let them down at least in our humble ever tolerant most peaceful of opinion jesus loves the little children of the world swami he himself offers to throw himself out the window be tied on the hood of car face forward taking the floating highway bugs full on icarus on the rock christ on the cross suffering for our sins we appreciate his sincerity me and sandman we bless his heathen soul we forgive we forget

we call on star they well not really it’s really a she a sweet but serious she with a hint of authority eye dig her eye want her in the backseat with me holding a stun gun telling me to please her or she will pump me full of electrons eye say eye growl baby just give it to me anyway she says push the red button if this is an emergency then she hangs up she’s such a professional cocktease eye yell to push the red button this is a fucking emergency but lo there came a light in the darkness swami

stubborn motherfucker

he pulls the book from the glove compartment the cadillac bible illustrated no less he pours through it already dog-eared by sandman illiterate motherfucker couldn’t find his cock in the broad daylight swami studies the table of contents he peruses the index he pushes the limits of his stoned creativity pushes a few buttons looks back at the first book of prophets chapter seven verse four finds his answer

ah fuck if only it were that easy

he pushes a one two button combination says a prayer to jesus moses vishnu he rebuilds trust with the ancients the eye pod it plays mister marley he plays he is in the name of the lord we are driving through the central valley we paid homage to james dean who knows he mighta been great who knows he might have peaked and crashed hard become a two-bit actor who had to make ends meet by doing the occasional porn flick but we are a cult of the many easily and readily influenced by those cute young things we want to fuck and fuck hard and then be glad to see they get their comeuppance drinking drugs rehab and yes if we are lucky the tragic suicide yes we are the cult of many independent minds are buried in the garbage dumps cum sanitary landfills of our national paranoia only to burst forward occasionally a burst zit upon humanity

fresh puss has its certain qualities

we continue through the valley highway forty six to ninety nine to fifty eight two lanes across the state easy to understand how he died cars passing back and forth across the dashed line in between sixteen wheelers the heat waves flickering images like scenes from road warrior machines appearing from the quivering horizon

eye want to fuck you

your naked body hits my half screen eyelids she says exactly what is your average speed eye reply perhaps slur eye say what do you mean exactly

baby there ain’t no exactly on this trip

we are only dealing with approximates a broader range of the truth she says eye knows she’s grinning cuz eye know she’s always grinning when she’s fucking with me she says oh kay oh kay let me rephrase let me restate the question she says exactly how high are you hey you high enough to touch that place in space where you and eye go to fuck eye say this time eye’m grinning eye say baby oh yes you might say eye am quite high and eye say eye’m still grinning eye say yes not only can eye get there eye have already been there been there deep with you under my skin eye’m in the backseat of this cadillac in the backseat by myself with you

then from the light from out of the light comes swami vee he writes he scribes below he tells us in his own hand in his own voice it is thee swami vee weave your thoughts

swami he says

on a light desert highway warm wind in my hair moe haw vee desert appears on the other side of windmill farm army of propellers sprinkle the hillside seeming blight on the landscape or cristo art exhibition with megawatt side action you tell me mister gore

shut the fuck up

warm smell of colitas and diesel rising up through the air a mirage in the desert distance gives way to vision of corral of jumbo jets in desert mirage holding pen visual spectacle well fenced and guarded shall we see if we are allowed to visit innocently asks the terrorist looking one

would it be possible to sue you for punitive damages you’re causing me

up ahead in the distance I saw a shimmering light pastor bob showing the way of obedience delivered via ultraviolet radiation god will punish if you question josea can you see by the dawns early light

please insert a map dvd

goats 4 sale antiques windmills in the distance succulents dotting the roughscape hell of of a place to drop anchor neil diamond croons you are the sun I am the moon not on the place to anywhere

asatoma sadgamaya tamasoma jyothirgamaya mrithyoma amrithamgamaya
 

phatmike sweeps back in the schmuck of schmucks

we ponder the desert love barstow it’s a hundred degrees out there sandman says the century mark according to our handy dandy cadillac digital thermometer whatever happened to the old analog model goddamn the ten commandments on signs one after the other posted roadside thou shalt not this thou shalt not that don’t know if there was an or else but it was sure damned implied sandman challenges me to list them from heart from memory eye only remember the one about coveting my neighbor’s wife goddamn eye can’t help myself lawdy lawdy please go easy on me

jesus died for my sins

and for the waterworld park in the middle of the desert but yes deserted indeed the rocka hula waterpark more like rocka ghoula a ghost town of a park yet it still quite welcoming in the sinking afternoon high desert sun

a sign points down a road claiming it’s the path to the crookedest sheriff in the world sounds like the law did someone wrong looks to me like somebody around these parts was doing something that he or possibly she but eye’m gonna go with a she if only because eye just got a hunch an intuition if you will that he considered quite the legitimate activity but the sheriff of these here parts had issue with this consideration there was probably some sort of altercation whereupon our mystery man got the short end of the stick basic i fought the law and the law won philosophy and he decided right then and there that the fucking sheriff is most assuredly crooked otherwise he would not have given a flying fuck about the activity in question

remember jesus died for my sins but maybe not yours

sandman he says hey ever thought being a trucker long haul motherfucker eye sat back eye considered eye thought back did eye ever find it romantic smoky and the bandit don’t you know can’t you imagine didn’t appeal to me sitting up high is there a club eye’d have to join but eye said but eye wouldn’t mind driving cars across the country old joe over there he says hey phatmike why don’t you grab that lincoln over there drive it to jackson mississippi that’d be cool there is a certain zen to that path

a quick stop at the mojave road rest area a fine young woman in a halter top waltzes to the restrooms eye will make use of this vision later in the privacy of the room hell eye may not wait we still have several hours in the car eye may not want to waste the opportunity eye may just need to climb into the backseat unzip my levis gaze across the desert a few joshua trees a few yucca a lot of fucking scrub the occasional chemical plant from whatever strange chemicals they harvest here borax more and more borax twenty mule team death valley load ‘em up move ‘em out eye want to go crawl out there sit beneath the rock wait until evening commune with the lizards and kangaroo rats and bats but no

eye will have a purpose

eye will be in the backseat cock in hand pleasuring myself to the rhythm of the vision of my fine halter top wearing lass thank you lord thank you jesus yeah sorry guys eye’ll clean it up that’s why eye brought the four oh nine

a little white cross on the side of the road the only marker the only thread of thought left with it the word the name travis that’s it white cross travis about one mile south of emergency call box number fifteen dash twelve twenty six so travis who the fuck are were you what did you do to deserve such a memorial did you die a fiery death in your truck tired it had been a long day a longer evening you really should have caught a couple of zee’s back at the truckstop but fuck you wanted to get home wife kids hadn’t seen them for a while then

shit just happens

a tree in the forest who the fuck knows a coyote runs across the road perhaps he jerks the wheel to avoid it good hearted bastard that he is was truck slides jackknifes rolls slides rolls truck cab bursts through the fence blocking off the federal land gotta save the land from the people explodes travis is fucking dead he’s a was

yeah eye know kind of morose what the fuck though it’s a fucking cross with a name there ain’t much of a story here with any kind of happy ending something fucked up happened

but we are following a target truck near zzyzx road we feel safe beneath the comforting glow of the red bullseye within red circle even though sandman he worries that we have reached the end of america we have run out of street names he points this is it the fucking road leads to nothing

we look south we say wow it’s a hundred and two degrees at six pee em in the evening and the desert it goes forever it is indeed a wow kind of moment sandman though he says can’t homestead here though they done made it illegal

one hundred and two degrees sandman says it’s an ironic number perhaps coincidental that’s also the degree of angle at which one can officially claim to have a hardon if old john henry is standing at only ninety degrees you ain’t got jack shit

we’re on the downside of the drive an hour outside of vegas the sun sits over the hills behind us light bouncing back and forth twin peaks yes cliché but still true beautiful breasts praying to venus herself nipples erect c’mon baby let me nibble let me prey upon your earthen flesh roads go forever forever

who the fuck are these people who live up here you gotta be fucking tough pretty much fuck you tough eye used to think hey no problem eye got this one down eye could live this life the solitary contemplative life now eye don’t think so you gotta be tough you gotta be one tough cocksucker

approaching stateline we call our attorney we ask for his advice we seek the wisdom of justice defended he says smoke as much of the contraband as you possibly can before we reach nevada he says the fewer drugs we have the better our chances of not going to prison

eye say on the advice of my attorney we must smoke more weed fire up another one just like the other one

state line sandman he says déjà vu have you ever been here before bury my heart at broken big toe kick the dog break your fucking toe

fucking toe

like

podinal sex come on baby let me toe fuck you in the desert when you’re all hot and sweaty

we put in some coming into vegas kind of music a little louis the fourteenth sandman he says that would be a good name for a band coming into vegas we agree that the next band we form we will name it coming into vegas

sign tells us we can go try out a fully automatic machine gun at the firing range at the gun shop goddamn eye love america
 

then there is sandman he has a voice
 
Well now we’re here and it’s my turn. I am the sandman and I have popped up periodically in this tome but actually not as often as I could have, as there are a few precious moments that I believe our dear author has relegated to parts of his psyche not recently heard from. Alas, he does not have the memory he once had and as fate would have it, I was there when it happened. The last concussion. But I digress…..

We were supposed to take this trip one year ago, but as it is want to do, life intervened. With hindsight, I can now say that I am appreciative that it worked out that way. One year ago, I was not in a very good place, and I needed the trip. It was to be a brief respite. But now I am in a very grand place, and I can appreciate the wonder of the experiences that we have already had in just our brief time together, as well as those sure to come in the next few days. It is no longer a necessary healing, but quite therapeutic none the less. It is also giving me a wonderful opportunity to get to know one of our newer schmucks (although it has already been years), Swami V., in a way that daily life does not permit. I am looking forward to it.

I take a very different approach to the actual road trip portion of our trek. I appreciate that my perspective on life is a narrow one, colored by a relatively narrow slice of the Americana I have lived. So when I take these trips, I do not alter my state of consciousness as my car mates may. Instead, I create wild landscapes of existence of all the inanimate objects we pass that indicate either a current or previous human footprint. I cannot do my thoughts justice, and I shall not try as I would most certainly dilute the eloquence that phatM has established as the standard. But each rusted car, trailer home in the distance, industrial factory, small roadside community…all permit me to play out the possible history that led those people to deposit that object in that spot, create that community, move so far away from the rest of society. Who are they? What were they like as children? Where did they grow up? Parents? Education? Likes, dislikes? Are they happy? What do they talk about in the evening and with whom? And the best part is that I get to make up all the answers. Totally coherent, holistic, histories. And as much as a healthy amount of paranoia encourages me to remain more clear headed during these treks, I find that an altered state interrupts my histories. It interferes with their development, trajectory, duration, and realism. There is a time for that, but now is not it.

and then again this is just the first day

 what the fuck phatmike swami sandman voices one and all that