i found
a rose a white rose
this morning today early
in the sand
at ocean beach
white
dirty
long stemmed it still had thorns

i found
a shoe a woman's shoe
only one
black open toed high heel
not
knock me down fuck me quick
high
not two
this morning today early
in the sand
at ocean beach

i read the sand this morning today early at ocean beach someone had written in the sand maybe written this morning will we know will we care a fresh print a fresh read maybe written last night the tide was out coming in someone had written

thank you jesus love rae

me cuda we walked up the beach towards kelly's cove cuda she found a ball she brought it up to me she shook her head viciously throwing her big dog skull around about she killed the ball dropped the ball looked up at me i picked up the ball threw it way out into the water she went crashing through the waves

no fear

fetched the ball brought it back got all viciously jiggy with the ball dropped the ball looked up at me i threw it way out into the water she went crashing through the waves

no fear

further up the beach further closer to the cliffs i read the sand someone maybe it was rae must have been rae same handwriting so it seemed rae having been rather prolific this morning this foggy morning maybe going through her beach period writing on paper burning it in the fireplace only she god a rare walkabout share the art if a word is written in the sand in the middle of the forest if no one reads that word if that word disappears does that word exist rae had written in the sand i read in the sand

god keeps you everyday hey hey hey

fetched the ball brought it back dropped the ball looked up at me i threw it way out into the water she went crashing through the waves

no fear

a couple sat in the rocks below the cliffs bordering kelly's cove she yeah the couple a he a she sat in the rocks below the cliffs she sobbed sitting head in hands open palms covering her eyes black curly hair bouncing she sobbing he stood near a little off to the side one foot up on a rock elbow on propped knee leaning forward concerned saying nothing he hooked his thumb into the strap of his rucksack he looked at me walking up the beach

out of the fog

made the scene very dramatic very cinematic our eyes met momentarily only so slightly we quickly looked glanced away me toward the water i felt the spray misty fine cold love can wake you up

fetched the ball brought it back dropped the ball looked up at me i threw it way out into the water she went crashing through the waves

no fear

walked back down the beach
tide crept up on the beach
god and everyday
got swept away
the only thing left
hey hey hey

i walked bare footed on the beach in the cold cold sand a crow single black crow big crow stood atop a wind blown castle opened its wings big wings three foot span crow stood atop its castle mocked the dogs flapped its wings spoke derisively to me to cuda the dogs chased it away cuda squatted pissed on the sandy structure

a plastic spoon
a dixie cup
sat nearby
construction tools
implements of construction
this morning today early
in the sand
at ocean beach

old fisherman me cuda we walked back up toward the sea wall the old fisherman he lumbered toward the water his bucket full overflowing with rods line nets fishing shit a green tackle box in his other hand my bare feet they went squish squish up the sand his boots big rubber boots they went crunch crunch

i wondered if rae really knew jesus that way i tried to love jesus that way i couldn't really tell if jesus loved me back preacherman said he did i never felt the love never felt the love never felt

me cuda love can wake you up and all that
 
 

brother sitting on the steps bout half way up the cement see meant stadium seats going round aquatic park late afternoon warm day mid october day san francisco indian summer sun shining low over fort mason casting a soft glow on the cove on the water warm water flat water

eathquake weather don't you know

brother sitting on the steps bout half way up the cement sea mint stadium seats going round aquatic park big old boom box straight out of nineteen eighty two kool the gang jumping out at me jungle boogie big boom bass jumping out at me the breeze jumps a little skipping across the water skidding across the sand low tide slack tide still tide

alien abduction weather don't you know

brother sitting on the steps bout half way up the cement see minute stadium seats going round aquatic park got that lincoln hayes mod squad afro going on silk printed shirt half unbuttoned brown suede vest dig the vest unbuttoned flapping in time to kool big ol' stacks goddamn stacks so tall coulda had goldfish swimming in the heels brownish purple bell bottoms he's fly he's superfly he's shaft john shaft i breathe i'm jealous i sigh i wish i could pull that off

that might be me that could be sugar plum fairy wave your wand o'er me

i need i need little more me little less we little bit of free thrown in for some sweet sugaree fuck fuck fuck does it really have to hurt
 
breathe baby i'll hold your hand

doctor bill he says why i say what he says why i say i don't know doctor bill he says why i say rock and a hard place every path the right path i can find the way i can talk myself through i'm good oh baby i'm good let me talk you onto this ledge with me let me give you the wink the nod the smile the grin come on out got a piece of candy for you little girl doctor bill he says so i say so everyone of these doors scares the shit out of me

i'm thinking just pick a fucking side stick with it side up shithead be a man don't be a fucking sissy don't be a fucking pussy don't be a fucking limpwristed pansy bruce be a man be a fucking man

decide motherfucker just make up your fucking mind be a man be a fucking man

breathe baby i'll hold your hand

i need i need little more me little less we little bit of free thrown in for some sweet sugaree fuck fuck fuck does it really have to hurt

way back machine twist the knob peabody spin it like the bottle baby back in the day back to my drinking days way back when me are christie we're doing north beach we're hanging at mario's bohemian cigar store we're eating foccacia bread sandwiches drinking cappuccino vov buzz buzz babaloo we're hanging at tosca's are christie me we're drinking whiskey neat third one i drop in an ice cube fourth one i forget we're hanging around washington square park me are christie we're toking a bit of the kind green bud smoke circles our heads halos angelic fucks that we are christie me we're hanging over at the saloon we're drinking beers two four six eight johnny nitro raises blisters pops the strings on his moaning guitar we talk story we wink at the girls we slide from the saloon to the grant and green we talk story we wink at the girls we slide to the long boat we talk story we wink at the girls we stumble by golden boy's grab a slice and a beer we talk story we wink at the girls

little bit of whiskey little bit of beer remember when yeah remember when little bit of alcohol lotta bit of alcohol kind of cloud my mind kind of cloud my sensibilities kind of cloud my judgment kind of fuck me up don't you know can't you imagine

wore my boots though had cool boots black soft calfskin fucking peta nightmare probably i could kick shit with them babies once got into a fight at the boom boom room wearing them boots started at the fillmore johnny cash show june showed up little bit of orange blossom special sitting in the good seats balcony seats at the fillmore i drank that night too couple of cocksuckers down beneath us got into a well let's just call it a little tussle we me my bud we lean over we pour water onto them we yell down tell them to knock it off johnny's on stage it's like fucking fighting in church stupid cocksuckers they yell up at us we give them the air jack off motion doing the hip thrust forward spew cum down on their modesto meth lab redneck selves we sit back down we drink a little lotta more we forget about it we wander over to the boom boom room after the show we're at the bar these yahoos show up drunker than we are they stumble in cocksucker number one the ugly one he spots me i grin he heads our way i flip him off he swings at me bouncer grabs him drags him out i grin flip him off i stay in the bar til closing time didn't even get the chance to

kick the cocksucker     

with my boots they were indeed shit kicking boots i'm jealous i sigh i wish i could pull that off that might be me that could be sugar plum fairy wave your wand o'er me

i need i need little more me little less we little bit of free thrown in for some sweet sugaree fuck fuck fuck does it really have to hurt
 
breathe baby i'll hold your hand

me are christie we stumble into spec's in the alley we sit at the bar we drink it's that time of the night start in on a little port cheap port only the best cheap port at spec's in the alley first time i ever swam in the chilly waters of the bay wow peabody this way back machine bouncing all over the place first time me my man pete my man joe sitting around the table at spec's big john brings over bottle of port we finish the bottle big john he slams his glass down on the table it's bout midnight big john he says he fucking growls declares time to go swimming we agree we get up we head down to the south end we strip down

eight naked guys

we walk down the gangplank end of the dock one by one we jump off pitch black darkness the glow of the lights from ghirardelli bounce of the waves we swim around out to one of the boats we swim toward the beach gay couple midnight stroll romantic evening

eight naked guys

emerge from the water my man pete asks in mock mexican mission accent

is this america

gay couple thinks they might have stumbled into a new cruising zone we slide back into the water back around to the club first time i ever went swimming in the bay started with a bottle of cheap port we're sitting at the bar down on the corner of the bar me are christie spec himself tending bar we point to that fine bottle of cheap port spec puts the bottle in front of us pours us one he knows us leaves the bottle spec he wipes the bar like jackie gleason i'm waiting for a song he casts a glance at the young ladies at the other end of the bar spec he wipes the bar i'm jealous i sigh i wish i could pull that off

that might be me that could be sugar plum fairy wave your wand o'er me

i need i need little more me little less we little bit of free thrown in for some sweet sugaree fuck fuck fuck does it really have to hurt
 
breathe baby i'll hold your hand

me are christie we drink we talk story we wink at the girls two guys come in they sit down at the bar right on the other side of our corner seats we talk story hey what the fuck you guys up to having fun gonna get laid yeah me neither gonna get drunk though fuck yeah hey wanna hear a joke lemme tell you a joke two guys they say yeah tell us a joke are christie he says yeah tell us a joke i start the joke it's a classic this guy he stutters great joke i nail it complete with precision stuttering are christie he says hey man i keep talking stuttering grinning laughing are christie he says hey man he touches my arm i tell my joke are christie he says yo man not cool i finish my joke big closing stutter are christie

he's just a mite pissed at me i can tell

he pops me on the back of the head i say hey yo what the fuck the dude across the corner of the bar he looks at his friend the dude across the corner of the bar he's just a mite pissed at me i can tell he looks into his beer he looks at me i'm grinning laughing he looks into his beer no one is laughing at my joke i light up a cigarette i take a drag are christie he rolls his eyes the dude across the corner of the bar he looks at me i'm jealous i sigh i wish i could pull that off he says both hands on the bar leaning forward across the corner he says

th th th th that's crrrr crrrr crrrr cruel

that might be me that could be sugar plum fairy wave your wand o'er me

i need i need little more me little less we little bit of free thrown in for some sweet sugaree fuck fuck fuck does it really have to hurt
 
breathe baby i'll hold your hand

light a cigarette take a long drag breathe i quietly apologize i sober up take a long drag buy him a drink throw some cash down on the bar i get up are christie he says hey where you going i say don't know man gotta go he says yeah he says where you going i say don't know he says hey just crash at my place up the hill i say yeah probably best he says you know about the key i say yeah i know about the key he says oh kay i say oh kay i walk out the door are christie i look back are christie he's talking to the stuttering dude i see him nod toward me the stuttering dude he turns he looks i turn i walk out i'm jealous i sigh i wish i could pull that off

fuck

doctor bill he says why i say what doctor bill he says why i say i don't know why rock and hard place come on baby this ledge ain't so bad hold your hands out like a flying fucking wallenda it's all about balance we all need a little balance i need i need little more me little less we little bit of free thrown in for some sweet sugaree fuck fuck fuck does it really have to hurt
 
breathe baby i'll hold your hand

kool the gang eight naked guys shit kicking boots and all that
 
 

happiness

is eating a chocolate buddha ball in the cab on the way to the airport grinning madly as the cab driver talks inanely about how the hong kong disney is a fuck off deal for the people of hong kong

happiness

is ingesting the magic offered by the chocolate buddha ball grinning madly winking slyly at the united counter person trying to persuade her coax her tease her on my knees beg her just like i do for you baby just like i beg you for that funky groove you throw me you lay down for me just like i do for you i beg her i do i do i ask her to move me up front on the long long flight home or at the very least making sure some fat fuck not to be confused with a phat fuck some fat fuck doesn't sit next to me or at the very least not without a stick of butter my grandmomma she sometimes used oleo instead my granddaddy yeah he was a fat fuck too but he took me fishing sometimes

happiness

is feeling the love offered by the chocolate buddha ball grinning madly beginning to fly before i get on the plane grinning madly offering up my bags to the tall chinese dude in the crisp olive uniform latex gloves baton sidearm nice shiny boots if he were a she i would see the reflection of her sweet government issued panties bouncing from the sheen if a frog had wings he the tall uniformed chinese dude i love a man in a uniform the girls they love to see you shoot he the chinese dude in the crisp olive uniform took away my toothpaste he took away my united airlines provisioned little one ounce tube of toothpaste he left me the toothbrush baby he left me the blindfold sugar he left me the earplugs sweetness yeah just goes to show you stupidity it don't wear a flag it ain't all about being a dumb texan he not the dumb texan he the chinese dude i love my brother are we not all brothers on this ball of joy are we not men we are devo he looks up he apologizes in official government policy language  

happiness

is sliding through customs with a chocolate buddha ball hangover kind of warm and fuzzy that i've been up for over eighteen hours and it's still only nine in the morning feeling that fuck it's earlier than when i left hong kong did i get younger feeling that special deja vu feeling i think i might have passed myself on my way back i think i might have passed gas while sliding through customs the buddha ball is not without certain side effects don't you know i pity the tourist behind me pity the fool

to quote peaches i don't give a fuck about my reputation i don't give a shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit

happiness

is smelling you on my fingers

i am so angry it smells like teen spirit i am so angry i must be going through puberty i am a virgin all over again i am so angry i must be confronting myself in the mirror i am so angry i walk down the street i see the homeless guy with the sign at the corner of fulton and park presidio i just want to cross go into the park he pisses me off why do i care why do i give a fuck why do i give a shit about my reputation i am so angry i'm angry at the ones i love i'm angry at the ones i think i love i'm angry at the ones i should love i'm angry at those whom i could give a shit about i am so angry where to take it where to place it where does it come from

disappointment ah the disappointment

love's out to get me that's the way it seems disappointment haunts all my dreams i guess arrogance of expectation leads me to disappointment oh baby i am so disappointed semen on my sheets go to bed wet wake up dry take an ambien fuck the ambien down on the pharm fuck the pharm roll me a phattie and shut the fuck up ah this disappointment give me a fast car fill her up with gas give me the gas card get the fuck get the phuck out of the way i got a long way to go longer than this road will last don't you know can't you feel don't you know can't you feel

going to the desert you wanna come

drop it all and let's go i got no time i got no patience i got nothing but time on my hand i got no time no time no time tick fucking tock lick fucking lock sick fucking sock suck fucking cock i am so angry guess it's the disappointment guess it's all these expectations all this expectoration i'm done pass the robitussin cough up the phlegm i got no more expectation i got none i have no expectation i don't get disappointed got no disappointment i don't get angry i got no anger i'm happy i'm a happy pappy i'm a happy guy

happiness

is eating a chocolate buddha ball with no expectations madly grinning sitting under a big suguaro in the middle of nowhere middle of everywhere i am alone in the crowd might as well be alone with my cactus

going to the desert you wanna fauna

happiness and all that
 
  

now i lay me down to sleep i pray the lord my throat to slash give me rest give me peace bless my little ganja stash

who stole my sleep j'accuse je t'accuse does anybody

here

know what time it is your smell lingers on my fingers stirring stirring i never dream in my dream she said roll the dice baby i love you seven times hotter than fire

the thing about not sleeping in a world where even the porn on television sucks where there is no elimidate where sports programming is centered on soccer darts billiards cricket ah cricket that should put me to sleep what a fucking waste of a sport where you put a bunch of guys in nurse uniforms out on the grass whacking a ball with fraternity paddles they play for days for days for days

then they break for tea how fucking civilized fuck civilization

watching cricket drives me to suicide living without you drives me to suicide living without air drives me to suicide living without sleep drives me to suicide too bad the windows don't open eighteen floors above hong kong harbor ah what a mess i'd make on the avenue of the stars splat splat next to the statue of bruce lee ah what a handsome fuck yeah i woulda fucked him i woulda fucked his leftover girlfriend wannabe's the thing about not sleeping in a world where hotel porn shows simulated sex where is her fucking cunt where is his fucking cock where is the money shot baby i want to see it dripping down her face in big white globules big white globules

i want to see her splayed on the floor on her stomach legs spread his finger sliding beneath touching her clit his thumb sliding into her cunt in out in out in out in out touching that spot oh baby you know that spot that spot the other hand kneading her ass needing her ass

sliding in a thumb a finger whatever is handy

the challenge with not sleeping in a world where most reading material is the result of a pigeon walking through a spilled bottle of ink then across the paper is that i read whatever is around whatever is legible once i've read everything in the south china morning post everything in the international herald tribune everything that is rather news worthy even the police blotter is perused once twice names i don't know names i can't pronounce i end up reading the chinese horoscope

don't you know my sign is the pig

nineteen thirty five nineteen forty seven nineteen fifty nine seventy one eighty three ninety five you find me sugar i'm a voodoo chile i'm old as dirt i read my horoscope does one have to be chinese to have one's life ruled by a bunch of fucking farm animals must i forever be stuck as a pisces i need to break out of this fishy bowl my life is already a fish bowl i read my chinese horoscope that of the pig it says sensuality is written all over my face i've got sex appeal i know how to attract charm people i know how to touch them if i am a sensitive soul i must take care as i may be too successful for my own good today

baby you know i'm a sensitive soul i know how to touch you

running along the harbor kowloon side along the avenue of stars around the hong kong museum of art i smell money i smell the energy of those dedicated focused committed to making spending spreading using printing investing losing burning money it smells rank it smells awkward smells of fucking strange cunt found in a dark bar on a rainy night the evening here is so blade runner the evening here it drips drips drips water board torture it's legal it's fun for the entire family it drips drips drips the evening

a thumb a finger whatever is handy

running along the harbor kowloon side small groups doing tai chi in nooks crannies around the museum commuters coming in streaming onto the sidewalk from the star ferry piling onto buses spreading out across the sidewalks alleys streets people with fishing line wrapped tightly around a spool dropping a hook down into the water kneeling squatting on the edge of the walk looking over waiting watching waiting watching praying oh baby i do pray homeless sleeping on the polished granite marble benches sleeping so peacefully the day just beginning a few people running with me not many mostly white folks like me sweat flowing from every pore i drip i drip i flow just like

i sweat when i fuck you girlfriend

running along the harbor kowloon side looking up looking up the city rises to the heavens into the morning fog the traffic on the water deep deep horns long and moaning oozing out to embrace me in their deep deep bass touches my liver like shark fin soup the love the love do you love can you love will you love does anybody

here

know what time it is i drip i flow fountain of youth ponce de leon blaze your trail cut your path trim her bush a thumb a finger whatever is handy one day one night any day any night i give myself to you i've given myself to you sacrifice on the alter abraham isaac infanticide oh lord i give my son to you i slide the blade along his throat along my soul what kind of god what kind of god

running along the harbor kowloon side the air thick like cane syrup i should stop smoke a cigarette what the fuck men women in crisp olive uniforms sidearms shiny shoes whistles i feel safe protected they don't give a shit about north korea they don't need no stinkin' missiles unless there is money does anybody

here

know what time it is

running along the harbor kowloon side slide beneath the street tunnel under up into the hotel kind young man with big grin opens door he smiles he smiles does he really smile he nods bows slightly his crips grey uniform no sidearm shiny shoes he says something i don't hear him beck is telling me what a loser he is i smile i nod i mouth the words thank you slide into the elevator people move to one side a little nervous of my pouring dripping sweating self fuck i am too what kind of god what kind of god up up up

shit shower shave

into my own uniform of armani and ferragamo loose not crisp driver picks us up we speed through the tight city streets ding dong avon calling she brings me coffee sweet with milk she says the chairman he will be right with you he is we do the card exchange all proper like card in two hands slight bow study each other's cards smile ooh and ah but just slightly so as not to embarrass they show their shit kung fu cartoons it's hot it sizzles

why is speed racer a white kid i don't know

long haired creative guy with dripping fu manchu waves his arms waves his wand magic happens we make warm talk we admire each other's

souls

we shake hands the chairman and i he says when you come again we will take you to dinner you will love the food asian seafood leaps out of the water flies to the moon i lust his secretary my lips would fit so nicely around those cute little tits i'd be a squirrel in summer my cheeks full but prepared for winter she walks us downstairs talks to the driver we zoom off around the highway mountains around us reaching up into the fog we talk me and my guy we talk numbers and approaches and deal structure i fucking fool myself kid myself into thinking i give a shit i don't give a shit any more than i do about any other game

i've never lost a game of risk

gin is seven cards nerves of steel and a pocketful of money don't you know i memorize the deck except when i'm stoned then i just feel it does anybody

here

know what time it is exhaustion begins to set in sleep is a luxury i'll pay the price i'll pay the tax just give me a few winks a few blinks a thumb a finger whatever is handy lucky for me the windows don't open lucky for those walking with bruce lee on the avenue of stars i'm a fat fuck a phat fuck i might hurt them in landing it ain't the eighteen floors it's those last couple of inches gin is seven cards nerves of steel and a pocketful of money

why is speed racer a white kid i don't know

now i lay me down to sleep i pray the lord my throat to slash give me rest give me peace bless my little ganja stash

who stole my sleep j'accuse je t'accuse does anybody

here

know what time it is your smell lingers on my fingers stirring stirring i never dream in my dream she said roll the dice baby i love you seven times hotter than fire

sleep dripping sleep flowing sleep sweating sleep and all that
  
 

she says yeah she says there is no reason there is no rhyme speak to me in rhymes i hold her hand i hold her attention her gaze her wonder i hold her heart i hold her hand i whisper she says what i murmur she says what i say roses red violets blue i worship your jesus on the morning dew penetrate my heart slide a shiv beneath my soul too many many lives apart plenty of years before we're old

i don't dream i tell doctor bill i don't dream he says in his chair finger to side of head elbow on armrest legs crossed do they teach this pose in school he says why don't you dream i say how the fuck should i know he says doctor bill he says what do you want i say me i say rid me of my insanity he says no i won't do that i say then i say help me enjoy my insanity he says oh kay i'll try sometimes i dream i sometimes dream of you sometimes you rhyme in my head she walks up to me with that come fuck me grin yeah i dig you more than crazy let itself in

me and yvonne car parked over on the side of the cracked concrete road cut cross the swamp me and yvonne out on the bridge out west of town out west of valdosta can't remember the name of the fucking place i could drive there today get in my car shit i could use a good long car ride cross country take a few weeks get lost in america get lost from my world slide between the cracks lose my way

disappear

into the heart of darkness that is these here you knighted states of america drive down to valdosta out eighty four on the way to quitman hang a left out by the big white church follow this road on along take a right the second concrete road follow it on back on back if you hang a left at that dirt road take you down to the sand flats banks along the river winds through ferns and pines and white quartz sand black river keep going along the concrete road get up to this bridge

me and yvonne we hang on the bridge

younger even many years before i wake up it's midnight later moonlight porchlight glows on my curtains younger even most every night especially in the summer hot humid nights ne'er a breeze disturbing the grasses sultry nights wake up i wake up can't breathe difficult to breathe slow to breathe can't breathe pray with me jesus let me breathe come on baby twist that tie while you ride my cock ride my cock ride my cock take that tie twist it round my throat pull it tight ride my cock let it slide let it ride

i wake up many years i wake up many years before can't breathe asthma attack just about every night funny how we call them attacks can't breathe momma comes in always momma she comes in i'm wheezing she whispers hey it's oh kay hey it's oh kay she sits me up she slides sickly sweet syrup yellow thick yellow yuck fuck choke she rubs my back she slides her nails along my back lightly hey it's oh kay i calm down slowly slowly i breathe i lay down momma she sits by my side

hey it's oh kay

me and yvonne we hang on the bridge she sits up on the strangely ornate concrete columned bridge rail i stand next to her looking up at her wildness hair smile eyes she smokes i light a joint we trade cigarette and joint cigarette and joint me and yvonne she points over at the shell of what once must have been a grand building grand in that old country genteel sort of way i stand next to her

looking up at her wildness

yvonne she wears sun dress magnifies her smallness glorifies her beauty in the sun that south georgia late summer dusky sun light bathing the cypress all around bouncing pinks oranges off the spanish moss yvonne she points at the building says yvonne says used to be a resort

way back when

thirties forties fuck i don't know when there was this spring there yeah there see that big ol' hole used to be a big spring people'd come here from all over hang at this resort owners got greedy thought if the spring were bigger more people would come they stuck a stick of dynamite blew the fuck out of it didn't make it bigger they shut it down fuckers went out of business then it burned down that's what's left

baby don't let me get greedy i'm going to slide a stick of dynamite goddamn you do make me go boom doctor bill i say doctor bill i don't dream he says tell me why you don't dream doctor bill i say doctor bill i don't dream

my momma she say hey it's oh kay it's all right i whisper thank you jesus thank you momma now i lay me down to sleep something about that medicine makes me buzz all over buzz buzz thick yellow syrup i'm so tired so tired all that attacking asthma tires me out this medicine though it buzzes me mixes with exhaustion oh baby the dreams

tedrol dreams

goddamn these dreams doctor bill i don't dream he says why don't you dream i say hey doctor bill rid me my insanity he says no i say doctor bill let me enjoy my insanity he says you'll try goddamn these dreams

tedrol dreams

i dream of yvonne in her sun dress in that late summer setting sun sky so serene sing to me jesus i dream of her before i know her i see you walk up to me come fuck me grin giggling at me goddamn come here i dream you before i ever know you how can that be now now now i don't dream seven eight nine years old i dream oh baby i do dream i dream of today tomorrow probably

tedrol dreams

is it possible could it be sweet jesus a man only gets so many dreams in his life i done dreamed all mine up doctor bill maybe i done dreamed all mine up my bucket be empty that bucket used to be full of all that pig slop lifeshit of pussy playing cunt swimming ego swirling cock twirling ain't a proper dream without some modicum of cock twirling come twirl with me yvonne she sweeps her arm talks about confederate encampments and deaths in the swamp and ghosts yeah yvonne she can tell you about ghosts and love swirling between betwixt the spanish moss

spider webs

sawgrass cypress ferns cat tails pines cactus tales of debauchery out here in the backwoods tales of love lust insanity

lord help me enjoy my insanity

tales of puss 'n' boots tales of the plate and the spoon tales that begin with a come fuck me grin see eff em gee come fuck me grin she says yeah she says there is no reason there is no rhyme speak to me in rhymes hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle her wildness in the moon she gives her love to a lune she says yeah she says there is no reason there is no rhyme

yvonne i'm going to come find you i want to come find you tell you i should have told you i never told you i should have said yvonne i love you looking up at your wildness in the sky i should have said yvonne i love you i didn't i just smiled did you know anyway did you

i think i was nineteen fuck what did i know

remember do you remember i let you drive my barracuda down that dirty road down to the sand banks down along the banks of insanity i let you drive you barely see over the steering wheel did doughnuts in the sand around the scrub pine swamp pine we laughed my we laughed i am so happy right this minute right this second along the banks of insanity we laughed oh we laughed you sure could drive remember do you remember i let you drive

i think i was nineteen you were eighteen fuck what did we know

you were so special to me i never told you how special you were to me yvonne i'm going to come find you tell you i should have told you looking up at your wildness in the sky let me sing to you let me sing to my past to my insanity let me say what i should have said

you stand on the rail i take your hand you balance of course you're wearing heels you always wear heels you are so fucking cute i hold your hand i hold your hand you walk along the rail up above the black river one dainty heeled foot bright red toenails i never licked your toes i never licked your toes

that is a sin

one foot in front of the other one after the other looking up at your wildness in the sky we laugh oh jesus we laugh yvonne where are you i'm going to come find you whisper to you hey yvonne murmur to you you hey yvonne hey doctor bill i don't dream he says why don't you dream do you think yvonne do you think yvonne do you know i dream of you before i know you he says why don't you dream doctor bill i don't dream yvonne do you believe you think a man can have only so many dreams is there a hole in my dream bucket dear liza a hole in my dream bucket what i wouldn't give for a good

tedrol dream

tell me sing to me talk story of tomorrow just give me a hint give me a clue i'm nineteen you're eighteen fuck what do we know a hole dear liza a hole what i wouldn't give for one good

tedrol dream

i wish i had time to be exhausted

i never licked your toes and that is a sin walk above the river with me yvonne jesus walk on the water in a sun dress looking up at your wildness i never licked your toes and that is a sin bless me mother for i have sinned mother mary magdelene whore of my tortured soul i never licked your toes what the fuck did we know i wish i'd known

come fuck me grins black water souls exhausted tortured sins buckets with holes and all that