beck he screams into my headphones in the time of chimpanzees i was a monkey i dance along the path i got my groove on early morning run i'm in the zone i'm feeling good been in europe for a week hot muggy glad to be home san francisco blue and foggy skies cool breeze in my face it's always autumn here part of why i dig it so much i'm digging my run got shit running through my brain right alongside of me some of it bounces out some of it spins spins spins me around that's oh kay that's all right trying to find my balance trying to find my center magnetic forces hurricane winds earthquakes whirling fiery storms and mudslides been making me run the oh jay through the airport of my midlife crisis isaac newton got nothing on me

i can stand on one foot touch the sky

scratch my balls chew gum blink twelve times hold my breath calculate a couple of trig functions spin bukowski monologues upon my tongue they pirouette gracefully reaching into your heart reach out with a claw hand grab your throat bring you close take your soul yes that's all at once cocksucker beck he screams into my headphones someone saying i'm insane to complain i ain't complaining i ain't fuck what the fuck have i got to complain about i got love at my feet i got love in my arms i got love swirling all around me come on baby let me take you there do the oh jay with me dance with me through this wildness you just gotta grin big ear to ear we only get this one life we only get this one life we only get this one life

let's dance

two step down the path i got the beat i feel the air on my cheeks running along the bay down in the marina heading toward fort mason the hill hawk comes floating down over the water red tail hawk wings spread three feet maybe claws extended thirty forty feet in front of me comes floating down over the water focus intensity i can hear it thinking i can hear the silence emanating from its molecular polestar claws extended off the water digging into the ice plant at the edge of the shore emerging with a healthy sized rat flailing redtail perhaps underestimating its size its heft bouncing on the sidewalk wings pumping hard fighting for air again bounce again bounce rat flailing claws digging rat flailing

i hear it scream

i know there is a life lesson hidden in here somewhere stuffed down into some dank cranny scratching at the clay walls digging trying to get out i just can't find it redtail it finds air scoops the sky hi ho silver away soars away circles back over the water over the piers up into a large eucalyptus sitting atop the hill

i hear it scream

beck he screams into my headphones forces of evil in a bozo nightmare dubya he said this morning on the radio his voice hitting me as i made coffee in my stella sweet little kitchen just sitting sipping reading the morning paper ritual his ignorant redneck voice hitting me like a pail of cold water in the early morning i think i've died arose from the dead three days later come back to life in cuthbert georgia some dumbfuck redneck jethro with a sixth grade education telling me bout eye rackies eye rainians

telling me about terror

talking terror fabbing fear dubya he said this morning on the radio he said cutting and running now today would send a message to our soldiers telegraph the wrong message would tell our fine soldiers that their friends' deaths their maimings their current and future psychoses their own private gulf war syndromes their eye rackie desert voodoo their mesopotamian mambo misery all this shit not in vain i guess implying suggesting hinting that they gave it all for

the greater good

god and country goddamn george gasped the terrorists attacked us killed three thousand of our citizens before we started

the freedom agenda

in the middle east i just love a good agenda especially a good freedom agenda fuck fuck ain't nothing like a good fucking freedom agenda you know an agenda that's all about the freedom fuck find me a gun grab a guy's gun shoot 'em up bang 'em up almost like hunting varmints back home walking through the swamp fucking possum pokes peeks its little grey snout from beneath a cypress knee pop pop here's your fucking freedom varmint free to find your faith pray to your coyote bitch maybe next time you'll come back as a snake

maybe a mongoose

who the fuck knows where we land it's all a roll of the dice it's all a roll in the hay a fuckfest of frivolity girlfriend we must be hedonistically happy because brother billy bobby benny bo gave his life in the desert

just like jesus

oh what a friend we have in jesus beck he screams into my headphones i'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me all our sins and griefs to bear forces of evil in a bozo nightmare what a privilige to carry everything to god in prayer banned all the music with a phony gas chamber o what peace we often forfeit o what needless pain we bear       

knocking through the redwood grove me cuda throwing pine cones throwing sticks wrestling with sticks tug of war cuda drags a fucking tree limb the size of my leg down the path wanting to wrestle slinging it around me a kung fu jump to avoid the kneecapping knocking through the redwood grove a quail springs up out of the brush fakes feints falls flutters onto the path about twenty feet away dust puffing cuda takes off quail flutters another ten feet again again cuda gives chase i wander over to the point of origin peer peek into the brush tales of love faith selflessness survival smolder spiral upward nostrils sniffing there it is a little quail chick must've fallen from the nest the mom the dad its great great aunt louise fuck playing decoy luring cuda away

dubya he said this morning snap crackling right out of the radio just like the simple saltine he is

cocksucker

dubya he said this morning we owe it to our kids and grandkids to stick to our guns you don't succeed by leaving before the mission is complete you don't when you're out there in the outhouse when you're sitting out there on that splintery slice of spruce with a hole cut in it when you're midshit at midnight you don't just pinch it off peel out of there fuck no cocksucker start a shit finish a shit that's my motto cocksuckers

wipe my ass proper

the church of scientology walking through north beach the other day fuck hadn't been to north beach in a fucking coon's age yeah i said it get over it i'll say this too nigger kike dyke cunt yeah up in north beach gave away my soul emptied my pockets at our lawyer's office walked up house of nan king had lunch wandered over to city lights bought a couple of books dale peck richard hell stopped by cafe trieste cafe au lait wandered around church of scientology sign right out front says are you curious about yourself baby baby

i am so curious about myself

wipe my ass proper dubya he said this morning we owe it to our kids well fuck dub let me just tell you keep your motherfucking hands off my kids keep your dirty fucking hands off my kids dubya he said as far as i'm concerned the terrorists attacked us and killed three thousand of our citizens before we started the freedom agenda in the middle east we owe it to our kids our grandkids well fuck dub let me just tell you anyone of your generals anyone of your cocksucker skinhead gun totin unwashed butt plugs come knocking on my door looking for my kids too late cocksucker i'll shoot the little rugrats right in the fucking feet right and left fuck you i'm not letting you have them i'm not letting you get near them i'm not letting your pedophiliac paws near my kids fuck you george fuck you and the horse been fucking you and your momma

cuz one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag all because we do not carry everything to god in prayer one's got on the pole shove the other in a bag have we trials and temptations is there trouble anywhere we should never be discouraged take it to the lord in prayer you can't write if you can't relate trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate

on the radio this morning dubya yeah george dubya he said invaded my still stella sweet kitchen he said i understand why people are upset about eye rack he said we're dealing with a tough group of people

yeah no shit george

he said dubya he said i care it's important for us to stay on the radio he said i care it's important on the radio he said george dubya he said i care

doves they explode from the ground from the hillside take to the air feathery grace i got love whirling round me i got more love than i know what to do with it come with me baby come along for the ride baby let's just explode from the ground from the hillside let's take to the air fuck just breathe

take to the air

these deaths dubya they rest on your shoulders and all that
 
 

kai yo tea rambled along the edge of the wood the deer in the meadow they perked up their heads alert

green and light lingered sparkled twinkled even in the dusk in the fade the transition fall drifted through the trees the musty smell of dead leaves years and years and years of dead leaves needles bark beneath the redwoods green and light lingered

kai yo tea followed the trail

smooth smooth love oozed up from within the loam of the wood milky smooth love a feast for the creatures of the ground crawling in and among spawning life churning life breeding new and wonderful species from nothing from the richness of nothing the nothing from whence we all came to where we all must go smooth smooth love oozed up from within the loam

kai yo tea head low breathing knowing

action stronger than word words wrapped around action stir the loins give rise to the occasion give rise to milky smooth love a feast for the creatures dance dance dance green scarves green eyes the light twinkle twinkle little star ah the dusk star light star bright first star i see tonight give me two-part harmony sing me quah up there on the stage it's the really cool stuff it's the really bad stuff i want to know it all don't give me no mediocre shit

kai yo tea rambled deer in the meadow

tales told tales spoken a bird in the hand two fingers in the bush whisper tales of wintery dancing along city sidewalks bus stops traffic foot and street cross el camino no turning back arms crossed arms open a smile a grin what the fuck it might work it just might what is love if not at first sight grow to love grow to love grow to love baby love just is it just magically appears it's just magically delicious it's just a lucky charm

kai yo tea scrambled in the meadow

tales whispered tales barely spoken tales yet to be uttered and all that
 
 

i lean on the window lean out the window of my room cool thing about old hotels the windows open couple three floors up not too far from centraal right off the canal along singtel lean out the window smoking a joint city of amsterdam out across the street through the streets look down on the street couple comes walking around the corner young couple twenties they stop under the street light yeah just like just like in the yeah stand under the street light they hold each other and kiss

goddamn i love to see love

hold each other and kiss not too terribly long not too terribly passionate but you know lasting knowing living giving i feel guilty up here in my perch above the street gazing on looking on we're this sweet little menage a tois only they don't know my own little vicarious thrill hold each other and kiss

in amsterdam the other night in amsterdam i hang with em my man em he lives in amsterdam born here lives here lives on a boat got a pirate spot on a canal on the edge of the city he's a fucking dutch sailor explorer adventurer dashing blonde crazy aren't we all we drive up north of amsterdam he says shifting gears in his hot little volvo looking over talking to me while weaving through cyclists motorbikes other crazy bastards behind the wheel of their own small mah chines buses trucks pedestrians he says one hand shifting one hand steering he says let's get out of the city let's go north find us a fine fishing village have some dinner talk story i say putting my hand on the dashboard because you know i have this divine power allowing me to control the car from the passenger seat partly by sucking the seat up my ass while i squeeze the hell out of the dashboard seems to work i say cool i like fish i'm down with villages i dig story let's

em he says she left me you know

me i say no i didn't know wow man that's fucked up

em he says yeah she took the kid i haven't seen either of them since her folks i talked to her folks they say they don't know where she is i don't believe them bloody french

me i say goddamn i say oh man oh man you mean just left up and left em he says yeah i went off to work i worked i came back from work she was gone he was gone she took my kid haven't seen either of them since bloody french so fucking proud me i say yeah

fucking french

we follow a twisting road around the water through edam say yeah this is pretty this village is quaint the tourists love this place the cheese thing don't you know i shrug nod nonchalance yeah i know although i don't fucking know we move further north wind around into some village he says the name i don't remember it some dutch name

i can't connect sound and spelling

back at the rokeru seems to be the place to be my new place closer to the hotel i mean i still dig the joker but hey convenience baby it's got a lot of appeal don't you know it's comfortable they play my sound hell i even know by nod by grin that stoner's recognition grin know a couple of the locals sitting out on the front porch the other side of the singtel canal cool breeze young couple brazilian maybe portuguese perhaps fuck it ain't spanish they speak no they speak love they stop near where we sit they linger they stare at each other just like just like in the holding hands leaning away pulling together they kiss is that a small slight dance step to a song only they know only they know

goddamn i love to see love

makes my heart tingle yeah sometimes occasionally i get that little twinge of envy you know that man oh man i wish my baby were here with me now too i wish i were dancing in the streets beneath the lights beneath the moon beneath the cool breeze mostly though just makes my heart tingle makes my heart warm goddamn i love to see love

em he says she wanted independence a proud woman she wanted to raise her kid my kid our kid she wanted to raise him to show him that he can be a strong black frenchman em he says pulling on his blonde locks his viking heritage em he says what the fuck he can only be so black i mean look at me don't think he doesn't bleed white just a bit what the fuck me i say yeah

what else do you say to a man who has lost his child

i don't know the whole story i don't know her side of the story i barely even know her only met her a few times i've known em for six or seven years we worked together once hit it off kindred spirits we get together when i'm in holland i know she lived on the boat with em he met her beautiful african french woman wild at heart wild in spirit toe to toe with my man the adventurer ever after the exotic the unique the beauty that departs the text they met they coupled they bore child they lived in chaotic explosions of emotion and passion and love i don't know the whole story perhaps such a love is not sustainable i don't know

stella she explodes we sustain

i don't know the whole story though i am not in the flow i watch from the grandstands and the story flows by me only occasionally sometimes when i happen to be in town this episode this segment this chapter fuck i put my hand on his shoulder i say yeah

what else do you say to a man who has lost his child

we sit in this little restaurant in some little village on the lake a little north of edam em he speaks dutch to the waitress she brings us wine she brings us cheese she brings us dark bread em he speaks dutch to the waitress she brings us lamb and veal and potatoes and kale we eat hearty we laugh we joke sadness cannot overpower the evening we are men of the world we are explorers we are navigators of love we tell tales of adventure of plunder of women and treasures of conquest and mystery we whisper conspiracy as the suns set down over the lake the fire crackles behind us in an ancient blackened brick fireplace in the middle of the small dining room we whisper the conspiracies of love of the heart of bounty of capitalist pigs of americans and brits and geopolitical manipulations the arabs the israelis the irish the moroccans who flee to holland the world is a ghetto we whisper and sip on port eat grapes more fucking cheese we whisper until we are the last guest in the house until the waitress speaks dutch to em who dismisses her with a wave of the hand i say in english i say hey bring me the check we pay em he wants to stay there are still mysteries to consider there is nothing but an empty boat waiting for him at home

what else do you say to a man who has lost his child

we drive home in a semi silence he is not weeping i am not weeping i want to weep we are men of the world we do not weep we drive home in semi silence broken by polite questions you around tomorrow yeah i have a meeting in your building cool give me a call when you're done yeah will do we drive back to amsterdam in semi silence

perhaps too much has been shared

perhaps too much has now flowed between us perhaps i know too much am i in his debt must i now lay down the heavy must i now come back to him not tonight it's not fair my problems the mirror image of his my problem what do i do with all the love before me his problem what does he do with all the love that fled so i remain in his debt i must pay him back maybe next time back in two three weeks i owe him maybe the couple of weeks the couple three weeks between now and then will allow the debt to be repaid

now though there is nothing i can say what do you say to a man who has lost his child

i lean on the window lean out the window of my room cool evening breeze tickles my face tickles my fancy tickle my thoughts girlfriend lean out the window smoking a joint city of amsterdam out across the street through the streets look down on the street couple comes walking around the corner young couple twenties they stop under the street light yeah just like just like in the yeah stood under the street light they hold each other and kiss

goddamn i love to see love

conspiracy and all that    
 
 

ah london yeah i know i wasn't supposed to be here but got royally fucked by united was stuck in chicago missed my flight to amsterdam missed my flight to frankfurt booked on a flight to london yeah go figure deja vu all over again getting into amsterdam twelve hours later than originally scheduled i've tried to be a nice guy to all the united people here and they are really nice which makes it all the more frustrating oh kay you lady yeah you were a fucking twat perhaps it was my obvious irritability i was am remain a target just push my button baby i mean but it would be so much easier if they were assholes here then i could just let loose on a tirade you know a little catharsis but, noooooo they have to be all nice and apologetic and offering up of gifts and pleasantries they should hire people that they know are short termers just so people like me can just let loose on them maybe import prisoners from the local county lock up don't you know not any of those violent offenders maybe random litterers and moving traffic violators even drunk drivers you know so we troubled fliers could just go postal verbally of course get it all out of our system so we are calm and rested when we get on the plane stella says i should be more zen about it just go with the flow better for my chi she's probably right but where's the fun in serenity so yeah flew through chicago supposed to connect to amsterdam missed that changed to frankfurt missed that ended up here at heathrow maybe maybe i'll get to amsterdam in the next few hours oh what the fuck i'm sitting in the business class lounge having already been through a security check in san francisco where the supposed two hours before my flight ended up taking only fifteen minutes from point of joshua letting me off at the curb to getting to the red carpet club  through a security check in chicago because we were coming to london and now already two security checks here in london with one more to go not to mention passport control in amsterdam which is usually a breeze bordering on a joke unfortunately no one has asked to slide their hands or parts thereof into any of my body cavities although there was this cutie in chicago for whom i just might oh kay absolutely would have at even the slightest hint the smallest of suggestions have bent over the table alas it was not to be i remain a security check body cavity check virgin ah now where should i put this hashish shall i dare use this place where lightening has yet to strike where fingers have yet to probe what is it about the british and their dental issues i predict with the current state of you ess health care us americans will have this gap toothed resemblance to our british brethren that is if we survive the bush er cheney dynasty goddamn it's depressing is it not we suffer from global bin ladenism there is no difference i can't tell apart bin laden bush cheney hezbollah or as they say here hizbollah hamas the nut in iran the nut in korea the nuts in dee cee assad in syria the entire fucking israeli cabinet the spirit of sharon arises from his vegetable state i mean fuck the chinese they live by the simple rule that there is money to be made when blood flows through the streets when blood flows there is money to be made the oil companies provide ample evidence to this maxim i hear that there is a new network of americans in canada these days leftover vietnam war draft evaders conscientious objectors quakers hippies whoever whatever helping you ess soldiers desert get the hell out of dodge the canadians don't know what to do with them yet they don't automatically send them send us back i think it my new duty to whisper suggest outright insist to every armed service member who happens to sit next to me on the plane on the bus at the cafe stand next to me in line at peets coffee hangs at the beach walks through the park suggest to each and every one of them that they should consider getting their asses off to canada hell i'll pay for the bus ticket c'mon soldier let's walk on down to greyhoud we'll get you some civvies we'll get you a hat we'll get you a tee shirt printed red with a maple leaf we'll knock out a couple of your front teeth you fucking hockey stud you i think it my duty get thee to a nunnery get thee to canada hey i got something nice to say about canadians go fucking figure maybe we can send a few deserters up there inject them with a little color a little excitement maybe the place wouldn't be so fucking boring and pasty white although i do admit the allure of a fine canadian coed callipygian cleft with perhaps just the smattering of a tan line left over from a wintery jaunt to cuba or shudder jeb's florida yes i do admit that this allure could be quite tempting i might have to join up and desert just so i can appeal to perhaps the granola version of said canadian coed as beck croons in the year of the chimpanzee i am a monkey i got your canadian monkey love all over and about yeah i think it would be great art to have a massive fucking train straddling the you ess canadian border you know an american fucking a canadian fucking an american fucking a canadian fucking an american and so forth all along the border from washington to maine the great lakes might be a challenge but we could get boats big barges we might need a lot of mattresses nothing worse than dropping trou for a little carnal pleasure only to have one's buttocks gnawed upon by black flies mosquitos chiggers leeches pissants meaningless politicians not to mention that a bed of pine straw can take one only so far don't you know remember chiggers goddamn goddamn my aunt louise she used to give us a jug of clorox and a sponge said dab it on only way to get rid of them chiggers yeah yeah but but what if said bloody chigger has embedded itself on the tip of one's cock dab a little clorox on old john henry tell me if it don't just make you want to jiggle wiggle and dance might as well push me off a rocky ledge yeah sitting here in the bee em eye lounge here at heathrow maybe it's the three hours of sleep maybe it's the persistent pain in my shoulder not to be confused with pain in my ass although this pain in the shoulder has become such a pain in the ass goodbye pluto hello xena and all that

  
 

nineteen seventy one barracuda

white

gee seventies on the front sixties on the back silvery chrome mags three eighteen sitting under the hood vroom vroom bucket seats beige naugahide always wanted to go nauga hunting hear they're so big can't miss 'em nearsighted man with a hangover and the shakes could hit one with a twenty two pistol with the sites filed down hear they like to come down to the ponds near bout midnight full moon evenings they like to glance at their shadowy reflections in the still water best time to shoot 'em in their narcissistic gazings sneak up on 'em from behind crouching low in the brush lift the rifle take aim breathe hold it squeeze that trigger squeeze it slowly baby bada bing bam bring 'em down skin 'em wrap 'em round them bucket seats goddamn that naugahide is soft sweet sexy beige because it's south georgia that black dark interior yeah baby it can fry your sugary ass especially when you wear that short short skit especially when you go without you know what i mean go without that which gets in my way even though i love that fresh cotton feel that which denies me access little holly six fifty four barrel vroom hooker headers vroom thrush exhaust vroom

kept the hood warm don't you know

kept my bong between the seats my former girlfriend's younger brother made it on the lathe in shop class traded it to me for a nickel bag about two feet long stained black my nubian smoking phallus six shot gatlin gun bowl resting atop the metal shaft protruding from its bowels looking in the through the window looked sort of like a second stick shift maybe a parking brake

if i had my way i'd eat peaches every day eat a peach for love don't you know eat a peach for you with you girlfriend let the juice run out my mouth down my chin drip drip goddamn i love that fuzz on my lips love that sweetness natch'rl not canned don't you know

just can't make such sweetness suck me

a tale of two barracudas one of love one of debauchery are they not one and the same can you have one without the other ah jennifer where are you now which tale are you which tail are you fuck girlfriend where are you now i don't know you now baby i knew you then

earl the pearl he calls me up he says hey cuz we got the tix we got admission we got a mission let's go let's take a drive let's cruise on down to jay ville see us a concert barracuda party ride journey joint jamboree let's go let's go vroom vroom let's take a ride aerosmith they await our arrival we call big tall wall we call charlie the kay they're in they're on board friday after school we're fully equipped with dope beer gasoline munchies two hour thirty minute drive to jacksonville from valdosta georgia down eye seventy five across eye ten

yeah baby load 'm up move 'em out

rollin' rollin' rollin' get them wagons rollin' working at the valdosta georgia kay mart up there on north forty one yeah that same forty one rambling man forty one lord i was born a rambling man forty one born in the backseat of a greyhound bus rolling up highway forty one senior year high school hair down my back scrawny hippie redneck with a bag of reefer in my back pocket

one and only oldest son he says laughing at what i say sometimes oft times he says yo poppa we don't call it reefer any more he's nineteen

i'm turning eighteen i'm working at kay mart i'm trying to save a little scratch spending money for college going to college in the fall leaving this pit getting my ass out of town heading off to the big city they got me working back in the home and garden department sometimes i get to drive the forklift moving around big old pallets of pine bark potting soil fertilizer bone meal cow chicken manure hundreds of little buckets of azaleas signs entering town say declare state as fact valdosta the azalea city little buckets of rhodendrons flats of pansies hey ain't no pansies in valdosta georgia we're men real men ain't no faggots down here in these parts true america might find some of them faggots out in california might find some of them faggots fucking camels in eye rack ain't no faggots flat of pansies flats of violets gardening accoutrements shovels rakes hoses sprinklers fertilzer sticks

miracle gro goddamn

jennifer she worked at kay mart twenty seven long black hair big wide lips sweet breeding hips smile jenn smile long tall jennifer legs long lean curving into an ass that moved swayed when she first came walking over toward me hot late spring day i'm outside sweating moving shit around consolidating pallets thowing this fifty pound bag over onto that pile of other fifty pound bags jennifer long tall jennifer wide seventies hip huggers flaring billowing with each step walking right my way i

stopped stood stared

she sauntered swaggered over smile jenn smile steal my heart warm my virgin loins feel the heat surge loose grunge jeans still too tight to hold me in she said she came up to me put her hand on my shoulder looked me in the eye she said smiling she said whatcha doing after work hear you got good weed whatcha doing after work want to show me your good weed

i said yeah

if i had my way i'd eat peaches every day eat a peach for love don't you know eat a peach for you girlfriend

me earl big tall wall charlie the kay we slide climb into the barracuda earl he's got the tickets me i got the cuda charlie he got the weed and shrooms big tall wall he got beer and gas money vroom down gornto road right past the putt putt park right turn at the gas station over the bridge left turn onto eye seventy five vroom we take off tix say aerosmith special guest appearance by mahogany rush it's a metal friday night in jay ville florida time to get our sorry white trash asses down the highway

on ramp speed up the rumbling of ice from within styrofoam the pop phizz ah of four beers opened the click click sizzle sizzle waft of big jay on fire smoke 'em if you got 'em charlie the kay he's got 'em twenty rolled racked in a marlboro hard pack by the time we hit the florida line twelve miles down we're more than toasted we're

burnt a little round the edges

we pull into the florida welcome center hey free oh jay for the yankee tourists and georgia stoners we're back into the car getting back on the highway earl the pearl he says hey tee man i got to pee big tall wall he says earl dude just piss out the window earl he says good idea he's sitting up front he buckles his seat belt he unzips his pants he opens the door to the cuda he rolls leans over pulls out his cock takes a long piss i'm driving down the road down eye seventy five doing seventy five miles an hour safely secured by the belt earl the pearl he rolls rolls his cock maybe nine inches from the pavement his cock maybe nine inches period

earl the pearl yeah he was famous for his cock

eight track tape player screaming at us steven tyler walking this way that way sweet emotion we have three joints lit passing 'em around we're four white wannabe hippies more like rednecks uniform of the day jeans brogans tee shirts plaid flannel shirts unbuttoned or tied about the waist nineteen seventy seven jay ville bound cuda danced down the road dance cuda dance

go dog go

do you like my hat yes i do i like your hat it's a party hat long stream long long stream the general he said how goes the vigor of your stream the greeting of his day the day of the general the autumn of the patriarch earl though he's no general he's got the vigor baby he finally sits up closes the door big tall wall he hands him the bong gatlin gun freshly loaded he spins off three then hands it back

charlie the kay he passes around the little baggie of dried mushrooms hey where did you get these charlie the kay he grins that charles manson smile his long black hair in a pony tail his scraggly beard framing his sanity his lack thereof he butt dances on the seat in the back he slides says picked them couple of weeks ago dried them out by the pool shriveled right up south georgia smokehouse don't you know so how many how many should we take charlie the kay he shrugs says he pops two three buttons in his mouth chews them in that fuck ma this is some bad medicine sort of way he shrugs says dirty harry he says don't know got to ask yourself got to know

you feelin' lucky   

if i had my way i'd eat peaches every day eat a peach for love don't you know eat a peach for you girlfriend

i said yeah the work evening went oh so slow clock creeping sleeping snoozing in the back finally attention kay mart shoppers our store will be closing in fifteen minutes please complete your shopping come on down to the front now i wash up clock out ka ching there she is at the front door she says i smile nod before she even finishes she says you drive give me a lift let me ride

ride cap'n ride

me the cuda jenn we drive around jerry jones drive we drive down gornto road we drive down into wood valley we drive around down the dirt road around the elks club pond down the dirt road to the clearing just this side of the trees just this side of paradise just this side of love me the cuda jennifer ah sweet jennifer teach me girl teach me lady what to say what to do where to touch where to slide slip and slide warm night

i'd like to describe a full moon with soft clouds floating over starshine twinkling in the sky in her eyes can't remember don't remember gots to admit gots to lay it down right here wasn't quite my focus wasn't quite my aim we smoked a big old jay

i do remember

flipping the joint such a professional stoner at such a young age stoner slid the lit end into my mouth leaned forward blew gently sent smoke streams of serendipity her way lips close almost touching she breathing eyes closed those long lashes i remember such long dark lashes she leaning on the cuda my hand on her waist holding her she leaning back and forward at the same time at the same moment lawdy lawdy she took the joint from my mouth from my hand she dropped it on the ground the red bud glowing up at us from its little nest in the dried grass slowly slowly fading disappearing

as she kissed me

goddamn

if i had my way i'd eat peaches every day eat a peach for love don't you know eat a peach for you girlfriend eat that peach eat that peach

we get to jax big earl he says he points he says take that exit no take that exit no no no what the fuck down the ramp down into the bowels of the big city looking for the coliseum the arena the music looking for listening for tracking the music

sweet emotion

right right right take this turn right i spin the wheel the cuda god i loved that car the cuda she responded back end fishtailed around the corner a car comes at us on the left flashes its lights i flash mine back we wave another car approaches us flies by on our right we're in a middle lane it flashes its lights another and another lights flashing horns blasting big tall wall he says

dude i don't think we're going the right way

i say watching the cars zip by on both sides i say yeah i think we're lost earl don't seem to know which way to go earl the pearl he says leaning out the window looking forward looking backward sliding back in he says yeah i don't know man big tall wall he say no dude you don't understand

i don't think we're going the right way

we're going down a one way street but we're not going the right way the correct way down the one way street i say oh fuck earl the pearl he says oh fuck charlie the kay he just sits back in his corner he smiles slowly points to the right he says hey man hey tee man there it is the arena it's right there i brake and accelerate around a passing car back end fishtailing again just a bit tires squealing talk to me baby i love it when you talk to me when i bite you just a bit this time going with traffic we zip right into a parking lot next to some fat dude selling aerosmith concert tee shirts selling those green glow in the dark sticks earl the pearl he buys a shirt me charlie the kay we buy a couple glow sticks each big tall wall he don't buy nothing he's a cheap bastard

and now i hear he's bald

fixes feet for a living we walk we show tix we enter the arena we are among the stoned crazed masses we're redneck come to town we walk to the floor push our way toward the front get about half way before charlie the kay insists that the sea just won't part any further his moses powers expired he is content he's found his spot he is castaneda looking for his spot in the room he's found it mahogany rush doing their imitation of jimi hendrix playing the star spangled banner frank fucking marino trying to be black soulful and cool he's a cheap metal act with a laser show in jacksonville florida but hey

we're tripping on mushrooms and adrenalin

what the fuck do we care i mean

if i had my way i'd eat peaches every day eat a peach for love don't you know eat a peach for you girlfriend eat that peach eat that peach

she jenn she says whispers into my ear suggests commands requests she says you're going to fuck me tonight here tonight you're going to fuck me i say my cock says i say sure smile jenn smile she slips up onto the hood of the cuda long and curved she leans back on the windshield she kicks off her high heeled sandals she arches her back thrusts her hips up those pants sliding down she says looking over at me she says hey come here i'm there she teaches she instructs she guides she shares i kneel over her i straddle her on my knees she unzips she extracts she pulls on my cock she pulls it toward her she slips her tongue slides her tongue slurps her tongue all about and over and around and around and around and goddamn she sucks she sizzles she coaxes i explode she swallows gulps chokes milks moans continues keeps me hard pumps pulls my head down kisses me deep with a cum soaked tongue i'm eighteen i'm so fucking eager i'm so fucking ignorant i'm so fucking excited i'm so fucking down for anything she pushes remnants of my own cum into my mouth if i had my way i'd eat peaches every day she pushes my head down between her legs she tells me she shows me she talks to me she lessons me here yeah baby there yeah baby a little to the left faster slower deeper probe there she helps she reaches down with her delicate fingers she reaches down with her beautiful fingers she spreads her sweet lips she spreads her sugary self shows me where to touch her where to put my lips my tongue my fingers each time i do it right she moans i'm a fucking bee eff skinner experiment condition me baby i'm your pavlovian dog lapping up your love ring that bell if i had my way i'd eat peaches every day eat a peach for you girlfriend eat that peach eat your peach lick my lips good the hood the hood of the barracuda still warm still hot in places she arches her ass holds my head pushes it down grinds my face grabs my long long hair wraps her hand round round round the reins of ecstacy she is the first woman i ever heard speak directly to me say to me with gritted teeth really mean it with authority say

fuck me now

if i had my way i'd eat peaches every day eat a peach for love don't you know eat a peach for you girlfriend eat that peach eat that peach

steven tyler he prances on stage music for the stone age we're stoned we're tripping he screams the guitars scream we scream we're seventeen and stoned and screaming in jacksonville florida jennifer she her ass prances on the hood of the barracuda she screams for me to fuck her we dance with the crowd charlie the kay he squats in the middle of the crowd stares at the floor earl the pearl he does a rain dance around him air guitar wailing he's a master long blond hair exploding from his john deere hat jennifer she spreads her legs she moans fuck me big tall wall he dances around puts my head in his hands he screams he says tee man i fucking love you man we are fucking tripping in the middle of ten thousand people i fucking love you man i say yeah big tall dude i love you man jennifer she spreads her legs i slide in between she takes my cock she guides me in pulls me in goddamn goddamn this is it oh man oh man the head of my cock it touches her wet wet cunt goddamn big tall wall he leans down screams down at charlie the kay he says yo kay yo charlie yooooooooooooo let's go let's scream charlie the kay he stands up he pops cracks two of the green glow sticks he hands me one we know what to do i know what to do instinct kicks in the touch of my cock on her cunt i know what to do i don't need no teacher i don't need no education i got it my cock slides thrusts slams she rises to meet me goddamn goddamn this is it this is the best there is nothing else left goddamn me and charlie we cock our arms we kick back we load cock jennifer she loads cocks bites her lips i never imagined i never could guess i never could dream goddamn i throw that green glow stick as hard as i can i am sandy fucking koufax that stick flies that stick soars i fly i soar i cum with another explosion i groan i let loose with a yell i start to collapse jennifer will have none of that she keeps pumping i keep thrusting she is a punishing fuck goddamn fuck me til i die might as well die now fuck the green glow sticks they fly fly fly up through the arena sky land right at the feet of steven tyler

if i had my way i'd eat peaches every day eat a peach for love don't you know eat a peach for you girlfriend eat that peach eat that peach

sweet emotion and all that

 
 

my man pete the navigator he said stumbling over brush he said if i could have but one of my fantasies come true only one if i could have but one come true it would be that of the wood nymph days of hiking over the mountains down through the forest out across a broad meadow there they are frolicking in the lake crystal blue clear blue there they are naked awaiting some forelorn stranger

beckoning

do they even speak my man pete the navigator he doesn't say but i assume i guess that they don't not in pete's story not in pete's history of what will be of what he hopes to be they beckon they sing with sultry movement of the arms slight nods of the head sly grins

ah when she grins

they promise silently promise delights of the flesh deep within the forest they capture his soul capture his heart bring him rapture the cool mountain spring water slapping at his balls as he moves between betwixt and among them skin on cool sparkling skin

wood nymphs can't be found on the trail can't find them on the trail the only things to be found on the trail are visions of one foot moving after another head down the problem the challenge with a trail the beaten path only the feet to gaze upon to look at only the feet head down pace march dust heat sun and yeah sometimes maybe sometimes visions inward getting into the zone the zen of the trail get the walk get the rhythm get into the zone reach inside find some thoughts the only way to find the wood nymphs got to leave the trail need to get off the trail depart from the text of the day of the moment

jesus yeah she jesus will lead us

just got to hop off the trail sometimes don't want to be on the trail it just gets me from point aa to point be sometimes i just don't care to be in either place i just like getting there meander around a bit argue a bit about which direction to go maybe take the wrong way maybe get a little lost can't be saved if i ain't been lost can't find my way if i ain't lost to start with can't just walk down the well groomed well maintained trail and find the wood nymphs they find me they find us they call to us from deep within the forest ain't no trail taking us to the wood nymphs

jesus yeah she jesus will lead us

rare is the morning rare indeed is the morning that i have in this order or any order really but in this order today smoked a bowl drank two cups of coffee drank oh kay maybe sipped a shot of bailey's smoked a cigarette

i know i know baby i promised i'm sorry sugar but it just felt so right outdoors mountain air the sirens called i fell victim to my weakness drum rolled it myself

smoked a bowl drank two more cups of coffee and another shot of bailey's smoked a bowl of hashish yes fresh from amsterdam or so i'm told or so i've heard rumor has it yeah smoked another fag all before eleven aa em i just felt so right we were heading up the mountain we were headed up the hill around the bend we had lakes on the brain cool mountain lakes and wood nymphs and rapture and all sorts of groovy cool and groovy shit don't you know just felt so right

the day earlier the day before early morning departure from the city from san francisco picked up my man pete the navigator and billy goat joe over in noe valley drove over the hill picked up pete drove over coffee at joe's eat at joe's dude with a sandwich board standing on the corner six in the morning eat at joe's we drink instead coffee don't you know places to go win place show to go heading toward the mountains we got wood nymphs on the mind

have love will travel

up and over the bridge bowlage journey begins all the early morning stone henge diggin on beck popping over the bay up the highway i'm a loser baby around vallejo up the five oh five stop for petrol pump it up pump it up through redding up and over the hill there she is mount shasta bitch of a white whore standing up proudly fourteen thousand feet above pissing down on posiedon and his ilk dig why don't you kill me pull into billy goat joe's place unload our shit me and my man pete the navigator we play a game of horseshoes yeah real horseshoes he beats me with a final ringer

i had him too i fucking had him i think he might i mean i don't like to say this and you know i wouldn't i couldn't say anything like this unless it just fucking irked me i mean can't enter into these kinds of things lightly i mean it's a serious fucking allegation we're talking honor and shit but i think

the cocksucker cheated

shots of tequila from shot glasses embossed with en are aa logo that billy goat he drinks in style he does he does in the car the day is young we are out it ain't exactly backpacking but what the fuck we drive last train to brooklyn this little trail up around lake shastina up around out in the flats high desert volcanic desert high in the sky windows down the funk essentials jamming joints passing wind blowing summer nineteen seventy six maybe the car's nicer the hair greyer the dope

much more potent

park in this little lot off a long dirt road we're heading down we're heading down down down so hot on the outside boots on head off down this trail winds through the brush across the flats for a while then dips straight down into this gully walked down through the brush the earth opened up we moved through the brush momma earth's lush muff opens wide and hungry into the cool cool ground at first just short tunnels big twenty foot ceilings opening up to more trail into more tunnels some with wicked skylights

we're in pluto's cave

graffiti lined the walls of the caverns some old some most new boo plus guppy
more than a few swastikas the local youth apparently a bit rebellious needing to rebel against their hippie parents let's really fuck 'em up simply voting for bush not good enough dallas moser written in pink neon along with save your shit my man pete the navigator he says dude the new art is so much superior to the old shit don't you know

eat me love sucks weed sucks weed the town not the herb jack off daniell armageddon methin' dude ninety seven cocaine the rich man's dream gabe soule lance merone dave hahn down into the darkness the short tunnels became this one long tunnel down down into the darkness we had flashlights down further into the darkness stumbling climbing with only the tiny beam of the cheap flashlights rite aid specials yeah not exactly professional spelunkers shit we're local news front page headlines waiting to happen san francisco visitors found dead in pluto's cave one appears to have been partially eaten down into the darkness tom fucking sawyer

where is my becky thatcher

where the fuck is injun joe down here down here deep in the darkness with the gold we stop sit on this ledge our dim lights illuminate an enormous cavern maybe a forty foot dome above us a large room maybe fifteen feet below us we climb down stumble down my man pete the navigator he rolls three cigarettes we turn off our lights we smoke our cigarettes until the last red glow dies down until

there is total darkness

there is no difference between eyelids open eyelids closed dizziness slaps me around a little the nicotine the air damp musty a bat flies through we think it's a bat who knows maybe it's injun joe it's fucking dark scary dark altered states dark silence seeps slowly oozes my eyes playing tricks little flashes of pretend light make believe light

like when i'm eleven years old and so is karen fuquay and we're together in her attic our parents downstairs laughing and drinking on a saturday afternoon and we know we're supposed to do something but we don't know what to do so we hold each other rub our hands around each other we kiss once almost accidentally we pretend to see the light

we make believe the light

in the dark it's so should we keep going what have we got to lose except our virginity if we lose our lights lose our way in the darkness before we perish before we die can i fuck one of you guys i don't want to die a virgin we stumble on down on down goddamn no perspective no fucking idea of what is around no concept beyond the two steps in front below the persistent sound of dripping water lose the light go mad japanese water torture found days later in a crazed stupor one of us is missing a finger the other an eye the other his sense of right and wrong we finally turn around hopefully in the right direction who the fuck knows who the fuck knows what is the right direction i never do

we never go looking for adventure we just seem to stumble upon it

heading up for mount eddy the next day or the next what the fuck the map says the book says nicely groomed trail leading gently up to some tranquil lakes five of them then a wicked switchback up to the mountain nine thousand feet not madam shasta but she ain't fucking around pull up to the trailhead it's eleven we're in no need of a trailkicker we've bowled strikes already this morning we're doing just fine we're oh kay we're good gung ho take charge kick it in right up this trail-looking road up the hill up through this meadow another meadow gets steep not hand over hand steep but i sure could have used a hand a scramble across the road we lose the trail must be around here somewhere must be somewhere ah hell stay high no need to go back down are we not men up the hill straight up where's the fucking switchbacks where's the fucking trail up through the manzanita fuck i hate manzanita up across the loose shale up across the talus

i fucking hate talus

we finally determine the kit fucking carson trio that we are we finally understand accept recognize that we lost the trail somewhere way back down the hill fuck not going back down that shit we just climbed we continue on argue a bit over which direction to go argue a bit on just where we are on the map not that we had a fucking map worth reviewing note to self next time bring a decent fucking map eyeballed the mountain made our plans figured we attack it from the back side just have to move up through those trees follow the ridge work our way around

sitting atop the saddle beneath mount eddy we set we plotted our course eating long dried bananas that resembled that had a likeness similar to a shriveled up penis recently departed recently liberated from the body of some near human maybe chimpanzee maybe gorilla i don't know

i'm not a scientist

don't you know looking down on these five fucking lakes from way up high looking down couple thousand feet above the trail we should have taken we had meant to take that was to accommodate our gentle trek upward sitting atop the saddle a broad high plain strewn with boulders loose rock manzanita and scrub pines cicadas flitting about thundering about around in a tremendous afternoon staccatto a deer bounced across its tail raised stopped in the little clump of trees looked nervously about disappeared in two bounds i can name that song in two bounds

we make a swift decision we're going straight down this chute two thousand feet up we're going straight down this chute trouble is the chute only goes a couple hundred feet after which we can't see looks sheer maybe maybe not we pussy out we go down maybe twenty five thirty feet we pussy out we make another swift decision let's go another way we'll work our way around we'll

contour

the other side make our way down we scramble down this seventy degree hillside sliding through gravel sliding through manzanita my man pete the navigator he slides down on his ass in his stupor he finds a rock it glows there in the afternoon sun he becomes obsessed with this rock he must have this rock it's the size of a fucking cigar box he grabs it as he is sliding by he carries it sliding halfway down the mountain on his ass before he decides to stuff it into his pack he's up on his feet new found power of the rock he comes bounding down the hill billy goat joe he lags behind on the uphills but he bounces down the hill like some mutant bulldog kangaroo sliding twisting turning ball of fucking momentum we end up sliding down onto the fucking trail where the hell did this come from slide down right onto the trail just as these hikers with walking sticks three-point buckle backpacks hiking pants i mean for chrissake what's with all the accoutrements even a fucking hiking hat still sporting the are eee eye label

they are the hiking equivalent of sunday morning cyclists

the lead hiker a jolly roly poly fellow that we really couldn't tell was a fellow being from san francisco i guess we are a little tainted that way i swear he she is a total bull dyke bounding down this little well groomed well maintained where the fuck has it been all day pretty little path second glance i notice a beard still not convinced plenty dykes these days like to take that little extra step with the hormones hey whatever floats the boat third glance it's just a pudgy old man in desperate need of a bra his man boobs bouncing to free themselves from the straps of the aforementioned three-point buckle packpack they stop they barely have broken a sweat they stop one of them he says wiping the pretend sweat from his brow he says looking at us standing there covered with dirt scratches sweat blood briars bristles filling a bowl on the trail i mean fuck it was a long quick descent we needed relief he says where you boys been we say well

we took a wrong turn

departed from the text just a bit don't you know next thing we know we're up the mountain without a trail go fucking figure they say turning to head on back down the trail they say well howdy guess you boys got a little lost we said yeah

we never go looking for adventure we just seem to stumble upon it

they said yeah that's a good one next time best stay on the trail we're thinking we can't return to the trail until we find the wood nymphs 

foolhardy dumbass lost souls and all that