the soundtrack will be drums

nothing but drums don't you know african drums jungle drums a single stick on a single log it begins as if morning distant floating over through from the air drifting weaving in and amongst the trees thick foliage heavy heavy moist green shaking with anticipation it begins as if morning soft but firm steady building a second slides in a second stick a second log perhaps both they dance flirt wiggle with watusi wonder so in so out of synch off beat but in line a third jumps right in comes soaring down from the sky from the heavens from heaven like an eagle's heartbeat yeah you hear him silently screaming down on you yes you hide in the bush trembling rabbit caught in the shadow unable to move praying to whatever goddess pretends to protect pretends to care praying beseeching screaming down passing over you perhaps the blood of the lamb painted o'er the doorway cool eerie breeze fading away as he climbs higher climbs back up to his vantage point climbing climbing slow roller coaster up the hill clack clack clack over the top back down silently screaming back down searching for you seeking you over and over and over you will never be safe

yes the soundtrack will be drums

she walks from the water beautiful not in that modern buff athletic flat stomach triceps taught shoulders strong wide chin prominent proud no she walks from the water beautiful she is a swimmer an open water swimmer a cold water swimmer a bay swimmer she slowly climbs from the water onto the beach she's been in the water two and half hours fuck look at her matted shoulder length blond in a two piece black swimmers suit hips soft rolling just enough to grab hold grab onto just a bit of round stomach ample breasts captured snugly supple but snug

she walks from the water beautiful

fuck look at her she sighs voluptuous something about swimming two and half hours they had started at kirby cove outside the gate fuck it's way out in the ocean in through the gate beneath the bridge yeah the golden gate bridge fought to get into the flood finally catch the flood catch the push ride it follow it on into the cove onto the beach fuck look at her she sighs voluptuous

she walks from the water beautiful

it's the look on her face the way her cheeks glow the softness of her eyes the quiver in her lip the stumble oh the way she stumbles stumbles step over step up the three steps to the dock beneath the shower

soft cool spray

she sighs lifts her arm twists her body water soft hair of the underarm clings to skin as water cleanses rinses washes away the sin twists her body just like she does in the dove beauty bar commercial are we trained by the television set even in our private habits i never want to fuck like a porn star i never want to make love like they do in the telenovellas i will never dance as they did at tara i want to close my eyes i want to

fuck like a reptile

she sighs voluptuous lifts her arm twists her body yeah it's right there it's right then and there yeah that's it she emanates she whispers i just got fucked she breathes i just got fucked she glows i just got fucked

god she is a woman god is a woman

my shimmering showering shade of the goddess she sips of life beneath the shower she is slipping into storied legend she has spent the last two hours fucking the goddess herself bucking the goddess humping the goddess riding the goddess her legs shake her arms shiver exhausted worn she is so weak of mind of body oh my to fuck like the ocean

i want to fuck like the ocean

continuous mindless instinctual i want to wash all over you i want to be your little scrubbing bubbles i want to swallow you i want to catch you on the beach i want to crash o'er top of you kidnap you drag you back into the deep wrap you up in my arms roll you around in the sandy bottom let you up for air drag you back down for more breathe while you can sweet sigh i will sweep you out toss you back onto shore but not until i'm done with you until i'm spent

who knows when that will be

i want to fuck like a blind man running through the jungle led only by the drums oh goddess give me the strength to simply let go open all the windows all the doors tear off the roof run through the fields beneath the starless night let the darknesses blend ride the fucking wind bodies do not exist bodies are everything plunge spuh-lunk slap slap that deep deep deep down scream from the gut ripping growl i want to fuck like nietzche when he discovered deduced decided

god was dead

she glows i just got fucked i'm sitting up on the balcony the deck of the church she is down below beneath the shower goddamn something magic about the moment i feel it there is love striking like lightning zap down from the heavens cupid thy aim be true

hear the bells are ringing joyful and triumphant

she glows i just got fucked i love her the drums get louder

there's this guy tom he swims in the bay he can swim forever he swims ridiculous distances from candlestick park around san francisco to the golden gate bridge from angel island to alcatraz from treasure island to alcatraz through the gate down to ocean beach he's a fucking animal swam the length of lake tahoe once he's a fucking barrel chested animal

we're in the sauna after a swim he's talking about getting into the zone getting into that place in your head swimming for that kind of distance it's all in the head it's a goddamn mind fuck he's talking about getting into the zone he's calls it

reptile brain

tom he says yeah man it's like getting into that frame of mind when you're fucking that point in time where you lose connection you lock into instinct the only thing in your mind in your head in the fucking synapses that lead to every fucking nerve in your fucking body the common mantra is fucking fucking fucking every single element of your being is focused on fucking

nothing else matters

fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fuckng fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking biting fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fuckng fucking fucking fucking fucking sucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fuckng fucking

nothing else matters

the drums are everywhere they permeate vibrate surround embrace pound pound pound nothing else matters all else fades away consciousness fades away only the fucking primal life force that connection that line that vein between me and god that links me and god that thread runs from god through me through her cunt back to god that thread must slide slither through her cunt the only way to god is through her cunt the only way to god is through your cunt the drums are everywhere

nothing else matters

reaching for finding my trusting my inner out of control i want to fuck you like a reptile i want to fuck you like a reptile i want to fuck you like a reptile trust the instinct let go let go open the doors open the windows tear off the roof wallow in the mud slither through the swamp grab the back of your neck with my teeth paralyze you keep you there hold you there legs arms feet hands scrambling for leverage for something anything to grab pull pinch twist pin you down you are mine fuck you like a reptile

nothing else matters

the drums get louder and louder they the drums they are everywhere everything everysound the pounding the pounding the pounding she glows i just got fucked she whispers i just got fucked she breathes i just got fucked goddamn where am i how did i get here where will i end up eagle screaming hearts beating blood flowing drums pounding your cunt a path my path to god my god

i annoint your cunt jesus christ mary magdalene the whore amen i want to fuck you like a reptile

how do i dare how do i dare let loose let you in let you through the door down the chimney let down the defenses can't fuck like this with just anyone takes time takes effort

takes trust

i trust your cunt i annoint your cunt jesus christ mary magdalene the whore amen fuck fuck me with abandon slide me your love slide me your trust when i'm wild i slide i'm going to fuck you like the ocean i'm going to fuck you like a blind man i'm going to fuck you like a reptile

yeah she breathes voluptuous beautiful round stomach reptile brain and all that

 

yeah this shit ain't real i mean how can it be

i pinch myself feel the pain i run a nail along my throat feel the scrape i hold my hand above the lighter feel the burn i grasp the cube of ice the cold oozes spreads i fuck feel the joy

this shit ain't real i mean how can it be fuck jesus help me i'm numb to it all love melt my heart let it drip drip drip the sun is always rising in the sky somewhere is that hope is that promise of yet another tomorrow jesus don't let me lose my faith momentum sweeps me along give me a branch drop me a vine what hath the waters wrought lord what evil flows through me that poisons me that pits me against me

fuck

what is this darkness oh so familiar why am i left to stumble through this room left to feel my way though these words knocking this lovely piece of crystal from its perch on the mantle falling falling shattering shards of love and remorse am i trapped in a ground hog day of imperfection of flawed existence

the inflection point where childhood innocence gives way to adult existence i remember i remember i used to pray i used to pray every night to jesus i started with now i lay me down to sleep a simple prayer never really listened to myself never thought about it just said it my momma comes into my room tucks me in scratches my back whispers to me michael love you said your prayers yeah mom want me to say them again yes baby why don't you say them for momma i pray now i lay me down to sleep i pray oh lord my soul to keep momma where will the lord keep my soul how momma she says he has a special place baby don't you worry about that now i lay me down to sleep i pray oh lord my soul to keep if i should die momma am i going to die not tonight baby you're not going to die for a long long time

my momma she died though

when am i going to die momma not for a while baby don't you worry none don't you worry about it at all what happens when i die momma god takes care of you when you die nothing to worry yourself about oh kay momma now i lay me down to sleep i pray oh lord my soul to keep if i should die before i wake i pray oh lord my soul to take does it hurt when he takes my soul momma no baby it won't hurt one bit god he's pretty gentle he loves you wouldn't hurt you

he hurt my momma though took him a long fucking time to take her fucking soul fuck he hurt her bad i saw it her fucking liver blew up like a balloon her skinny little belly bellowing i saw my momma cry she owned her pain she wouldn't let us have any of her pain

i hated her for that

i hated god for that too i still do fuck you old man what good are you she trusted you yeah yeah you try to paint the pretty picture purple mountains majesty fruited plains yeah fuck your pretty little picture perfect pop art self fuck you you old cocksucker

long before my momma died though me and jesus we reached an agreement we came to an understanding one night i don't remember exactly when maybe i was nine ten maybe up around twelve me and jesus we compromised i had moved on with my prayers i brought a little more to it as i closed my eyes at night i asked god to bless those that i love i asked god to bless the day i asked god to bless the morrow one night i don't how it came to me i just looked up into the darkness i reached out i felt the nothing i opened my mouth i tasted the nothing i swallowed the emptiness i said

jesus i'm tired i need a break i need to come back to you on this i need a little vacation i tell you what let's make a deal you and me let's part ways i'm going down this other road over here i don't know where it's going

maybe it's the road to hell paved with good intentions

maybe it's the road to mandalay maybe dorothy lamour is sitting naked in a hammock dorothy lamour and seventy six subservient virgins maybe maybe it's simply seventy six trombones and i've landed in river city there's trouble in river city trouble with a tee with a capital tee fuck maybe it's simply the road that takes me across state lines makes me a

fugitive from love

i think that elvis was a fugitive from love i believe that elvis was the second coming of jesus himself i believe that elvis descended into hell has arisen from the dead that he walks among us this day these days these final days fuck yeah he does and

the end is nigh

i believe in the father the son and the holy elvis i believe in the one true church i believe i believe that this same church should burn in hell what's a cocksucker to do

i said jesus i'm tired let's call a truce this evening prayer thing it ain't getting me getting us you and me it ain't getting us anywhere i mean i'm not getting all ella fitzgerald on you i'm not saying let's call the whole thing off this ain't a toe-may-toe toe-mah-toe kind of thing

dude you're still da man

this ain't a poe-tay-toe poe-tah-toe kind of thing i mean i still dig you man it's just that this shit ain't working for me right now tell you what let's make a deal i'll agree to find my way back i promise to find my way back one day bring out my machete cut my way through the jungle to find your love but for right now i mean for a while don't know how long but i just need to take a break so i tell you what here's my final prayer

now i lay me down to sleep i pray oh lord my soul to keep just hang on to it for a while maybe put it in cold storage maybe freeze dry it i hear this funky new cryogenic thing is hot hot hot invest your dollars now dry me out add water later just like a fucking sea monkey

jesus i'm your fucking love monkey don't you know

i said jesus i'll get back to you i said that when i was eleven twelve maybe i said jesus i believe i do i just can't do this evening prayer thing he said oh kay he said see you soon he said he said and eighteeen twenty years later

he killed my momma

fucked her up the ass fucked up her liver fucked up her pancreas fucked up her breasts fucked up her lungs woman never even smoked barely drank her major vice fuck she ate a little bacon that was her weakness my momma she loved her couple of slices of bacon in the morning cocksucker killed my momma over a couple lousy pieces of bacon can you say

cancer

she prayed every day cocksucker he killed her not just a friendly little hey it's time to come home hazel no cocksucker he teased her he tortured her he fucked her up the ass with his cancer causing cock

yeah i started praying again i prayed every day i prayed fuck you jesus fuck you and your minions fuck you and your church fuck you and your priests fuck you and your pretty faggot priests with all their fancy vestments slicked back hair doing elvis proud fuck fuck fuck yeah i started praying again whiskey looks good give me a shot and a beer

give me a reason

give me lapse yeah jesus i've lapsed there is a lapse yeah i know jesus give me my machete give me that whetstone hone this motherfucker feel that edge feel that edge help me cut through the jungle run through the jungle rumble in the jungle thrilla in manila baby help me find the love

walking back along the sidewalk me and my man pete along the waterside just the other day concrete to our left the bay to our right there it was little rubber wristband millions of them out there yellow lance armstrong wrist bands purple ones green ones little rubber affirmations of faith not as busy as outgoing as in your face as a bumper sticker or a tee shirt or a grafitti tag on a white garage door but sweet mother mary there it was right there on the sidewalk kind of red-ish rose-ish kind of white-ish embossed with the little phrase

jesus is the reason for the season

fuck lord show me a sign the skies parted jesus give me a sign i picked it up i felt better i held it in my hand i read it i stretched it i almost threw it in the trash can my own little part in keeping america beautiful i almost cut my hair getting kind of long don't you know but i didn't and i wonder why i makes me want to fly my freak flag high picked it up i put it on my wrist i said to my man pete i said hey he revealed himself to me right here revealed himself to my stoned self

can't throw away love

i tried to live without you what a misery it turned out to be sorry for the times

now can i now can i no i can't so me and jesus later that night we come to a new compromise i say jesus my man i do dig you i do yeah you can be my light i dig your light here's the deal though big guy i can't dig this jealousy thing let's share the love how about it you me da buddha da godhead da vishnu let's invite moses mohammad pan bacchus coyote let's have a party yeah let's get together let's blow our horns play our guitars put on a little jimi baby if six turned out to be nine i don't mind fuck yeah i'll hang by your side in case you get lonely in case you feel you feel you feel like you need to hold my hand

every day i wonder what it would be like to just see what it would be like to have you by my side oh my lord i can't wait to meet you

yeah this shit ain't real i mean how can it be

i pinch myself feel the pain i run a nail along my throat feel the scrape i hold my hand above the lighter feel the burn i grasp the cube of ice the cold oozes spreads i fuck feel the joy

elvis and children jesus and cocksuckers fugitives from love and all that
  

dragon and rose i'm standing on the outside of the glass separating the smokers from those who aren't

smoking

it's vegas there's slots in the fishbowl lights flashing from within the haze people sitting within the allure aura pull attraction of the moaning screaming blinging dinging machines singing my ding a ling my ding ling won't you play with my ding a ling some of them the people on the other side some of them pushing buttons sliding in coins tokens player cards credit cards blood donor cards hopes prayers some of them not playing slots but all of them either aa smoking bee lighting up see digging a crumpled butt out of an even more crumpled pack or dee extinguishing occasionally there might be an ee all of the above but that cocksucker you know he's whack you know he's a he and you know he's whack fuck

i'm whack too twenty five years ago april twenty fifth nineteen and eighty one

i see stella she's walking on the other side of the chasm way over there she's over there unreachable can't get to her no way how do you chase a dream she's over there other side of the chasm i grab the vine i swing across fucking gators snapping down below i see her walking in the bank parking lot i swing my nineteen sixty eight vee dubya camper white yeah with the pop top goddamn swing it around she's arguing with her boyfriend she sees me pull up she wanders over saunters maybe hands in her pockets she walks up she folds her arms on the open window she says she puts her head on her folded arms she says looking up at me she says

hey i say hey stella

watcha doing tomorrow i say wanna go hang out you know wander around she says yeah fuck this guy i say yeah fuck that guy

we hang out we walk we do that well hang out and walk we get our faces painted we wander around inman park atlanta gee aa we hold hands i make her laugh she makes me smile we talk shit look at old old houses civil war houses big wrap around porches big trees i make her laugh she makes me smile we go to henny's party stella she doesn't know henny she doesn't know them they're my friends soon to be her friends not yet though she doesn't know them they're tripping their brains out me and stella we're not they all dig our painted faces i dig the rose on stella's cheek i'm transference tripping we leave the party after a while somewhere between daylight and night time

i'm not afraid of the shadows don't you know

we head off to this club tinsley ellis and his band are playing we drink stella she drinks vodka grapefruit juice me i'm drinking beer green bottle don't you know it's atlanta gee nineteen eighty one we dance it's so fucking hot we're sweating sexy sweating

ooh we kiss

right out on the dance floor stella you put your arms around me we kiss oh baby we kiss

grapefruit dragon and rose i make her laugh she makes me smile we've known each other three years now fuck we've known each other not like this

we kiss oh baby we kiss

she so sassy i fall i fall i fall in love fuck me tonight let me fuck you tonight it's sloppy it's desperate it's drunken fucking like only drunken fucking can be it's wonderful it's wild it's naked digits and dick plunging into wetness into darkness now it's morning sun coming in through those rainbow curtains your eyes open my eyes open this wasn't supposed to happen

we broke the rules

fuck fuck fuck covers off torn off you say you even push me a bit to get me going you say you gots to leave you aren't supposed to be here this wasn't supposed to happen

so tell me why we couln't stay don't let this feeling ever go away but this memory will forever be inside of me through every hour of every day dragon and rose standing on the outside of the glass separating the smokers from those who aren't

we kiss oh baby we kiss

smoking

we are carried by the wheels of armageddon we're going to force ourselves to live i leave dick between my legs i go home i putter home in my vee dubya i write a story i sit down at my desk i hammer it out on my royal electric two pages double spaced yeah there are some type oh's fuck it i write a story i steal a story she stole my heart i steal a story fair deal square deal i write a story two characters pete and zelda pete eats chocolate zelda she eats peanut butter they round a corner one day bada bing they run into each other yeah i know you've heard this one before that's oh kay this is sweet they run into each other fuck chocolate goes into peanut butter fuck this shit it happens funny how good they go together

what the fuck

i'm whack twenty five years ago april twenty fifth nineteen eighty one i give stella the story sweet seduction stella she surrenders please tell me why we couldn't stay don't let this feeling ever go away but this memory will forever be inside of me through every hour of every day

dreams realized prayers answered

swing across the chasm on a vine them gators fucking gators dipped me some chocolate into that sweet creamy peanut butter we kiss oh baby we kiss i'm whack

not as whack as the dude sitting in his living room the other day sitting in his living room in his house up in the sierra nevada foothills one minute he's just sitting there hanging out it's friday night maybe he's just chillin' maybe he's just getting mellow with some kind green maybe kicking back with a cold brew whatever the fuck he's doing he don't do it for long he ain't going to be doing it no more the new york times it said

the floor opened beneath him

just like that fucking sink hole dropped right out from under his house fuck whoosh just like a toilet flushing swoosh whoosh he's fucking sucking down a bong one minute next he's being sucked down a fucking sink hole just like that disappears abracadabra he's gone his wife she's back in the bedroom asleep pregnant friday night fuck dude getting ready for the weekend instead he got his weekend with bernie

a fucking school teacher

not as whack maybe the word is whacked past tense yeah fuck swoosh whoosh not as whacked as the school teacher dude sometimes shit just happens just as easily coulda been hit by a bus coulda been driving round the mountains six white horses the whole nine yards driving round the mountains one of them signs says watch for falling rocks cocksucker might have forgotten to watch

bada bing

when the floor opened up beneeath me twenty five years ago it just happened never knew what happened never know when it's going to happen never know dragon and rose vodka grapefruit i make her laugh she makes me smile ain't nothing wrong with that

we kiss oh baby we kiss

if we have to sell our blood in order to make bread this kind of feeling don't come easy we'll never find it by ourselves ain't nothing wrong with that i fell in love with stella i still love her i really i do i don't really like the thought that love ends i don't think love ever ends

love don't keep you on the other side of that glass wall walls shatter anything possible kind of love swim the deepest ocean kind of love climb the highest mountain kind of love smoke the biggest joint kind of love you fall in love walls shatter you fall in love there ain't no going back sink hole can take you away can't take away love can't take love away i don't think love ever ends

do you

floor opened up beneath me

vodka grapefruit dragon rose sink holes walls shatter twenty five twenty five and all that
                                      

 

my uncle ben he looks at hardrock his real name is george but he's this scrawny kid tough as nails he's called hardrock yeah go figure my uncle ben he looks at hardrock he says shit boy only difference between you and that fucking nigger over there is you white know that boy hardrock sniffs he says yeah mister ben hardrock he's thirteen me i'm thirteen summer of nineteen seventy two cuthbert georgia

my uncle ben he leans back in his chair thelma slides a plate piled high with grits two greasy fried eggs sitting on top four strips still sizzling bacon thrown about he says grinning at me across the table he says thelma tell me whose nigger you are thelma she says oh mister ben he says now come on thelma go ahead tell me she says half turning away she says i'se yore nigger mister ben my uncle ben he says yeah tha's right thelma she's sixty something i'm thirteen summer of nineteeen seventy two cuthbert georgia thelma she calls me mister mike she cooks me anything i want anything she makes me biscuits in the morning serves them up with cane syrup her boy rufus makes from sugar cane in their back yard she makes me cornbread thin greasy cornbread cooked in a skillet in the oven serves it up with sweet butter i don't even have to ask she just know

my cousin pam she says leaning across the table as thelma goes back into the kitchen she says daddy you can't talk about niggers that way this ain't nineteen fifty two it's nineteen seventy two niggers don't want you talking that way even in cuthbert georgia pam she's sixteen i'm thirteen my uncle ben he bought pam a car on her sweet sixteen bought her a ford maverick a sensible car pam just last month she sent me an email she said

michael we found an empty urn on your momma's gravesite we was out there putting some flowers out we saw this urn you ain't been in cuthbert have you you ain't been to cuthbert without telling us

i wrote her back i wrote her back i said

i came to cuthbert when your daddy died i got a phone call i was in your fucking house the next day where the fuck were you my daddy died here all you motherfuckers you can kiss my white cracker ass

me and my cousin robbie sitting on the floor of his room playing some board game we play chess i kick his dumb cracker ass my cousin pam she's in the door she needs robbie to move his car so she can get out of the drive way robbie he says barely even looking up from the board i'll move my car you show us your tits my cousin pam she balks robbie he doesn't look up she screams robbie he shrugs says hey this goes on finally she lifts her shirt shows her tits robbie he gets up walks past her walks out moves his car

i say goddamn

me and my cousin robbie we walk up the back steps my cousin ben junior yeah we always call him ben junior not ben not junior but ben junior my cousin ben junior he walks down the steps he's drinking a big old glass of iced tea my cousin robbie he bumps the glass while ben junior drinks ben junior spills tea all over himself drops the glass it's plastic anyway red hard plastic like it's stolen from howard johnson's except there is no howard johnson's within fifty hundred miles of here hell not much of anything within fifty hundred miles tallahasee is a hundred miles albany is fifty miles we go to albany sometimes to see a movie they got a movie theater over in albany ben junior drops the glass before it bounces on the second step ben junior grabs robbie by the arm spins him around begins wailing on him just swinging as hard as he can hitting robbie on the back on the back of the head on his shoulders his arms that slap slap dull thud of skin and muscle and bone smacking skin and muscle and bone just fucking slamming him over and over robbie is crying begging ben to stop i'm crying begging ben to stop ben yells at robbie calling him a sorry piece of shit robbie sobs says please ben i sob say please ben then ben junior he stops hitting on robbie he pushes him up the stairs ben he goes down the steps past me robbie he stands facing away from me facing the house crying sobbing i'm ten robbie he's fourteen ben junior he's seventeen it's nineteen sixty nine cuthbert georgia

the braves are going to face the mets in the playoffs i don't know this yet i spend my summers in cuthbert georgia the playoffs aren't until the fall i follow the braves though i read the sports section of the columbus ledger in the mornings i read the sports section of the albany herald in the afternoon every day

can't salute you can't find a flag if that don't suit you well that's a drag school's out for summer

my cousin pam she sends me an email she says hey michael you been to cuthbert we found an urn an empty urn on your momma's grave i write back i say i came to cuthbert when your daddy died where were you all you cocksuckers can kiss my ass

stella the other night we fight we argue she's hurt i've hurt her she lashes out fair enough i hold her she bites my shoulder her teeth sink hard deep i take it god i take it the pain something about the pain i need the pain give it to me give it to me it's deep give it to me the passion yeah i like it like that slow motion for me

me and my cousin robbie we stand on the steps of corner grocery my uncle ben he owns this little country grocery store my uncle ben he calls it corner grocery we me and my cousin robbie we stand on the steps across the street is a church with a big old lawn off to the corner in the front is this big old oak tree probably hundred fifty years old under this tree four or five guys are standing around smoking a joint hank he walks up to these guys hank he's two years older than me he's a man though works like a man works at the pulp mill down the road dropped out of school went to work he walks right up all deliberate like walks up to these guys he grabs the guy with the joint grabs him by the collar just hauls off fucking punches him right in the face the guy falls down

hank he leans over he says you owe me money cocksucker hank he reaches into the guy's pockets he pulls out a bag of weed he puts the bag into his own pocket he says you still owe me money asshole

hank picks the guy up by the arm holds him steady hits him again fucking punches him right in the face again fuck i look up at robbie i say you gonna do anything robbie he looks down at me he says no that's hank's business hank he picks the guy up one more time he says you owe me money cocksucker he hits him again walks across the street over to the store he struts he says

hey what's up cuz

robbie he laughs he looks at me i look over at hank i laugh i'm thirteen robbie he's seventeen hank he's fifteen robbie he holds out his hand hank he gives him the bag of weed robbie he looks at me i look away

my cousin ben junior he's driving his car it's a fucking badass car it's a nineteen sixty eight impala ess ess three ninety six it doesn't go it lunges i'm in the back seat johnny faircloth he's in the passenger seat johnny faircloth his dad is the randolph county sheriff cuthbert it's in randolph county we're driving around the town square some fucking confederate general petrified on a pedestal pointing his sword at the north driving around the square another car zips around us some cocksucker leans out the back window flips us off says kiss my ass faggots they take off squeal their tires around the first turn off the square ben junior ratchet shifts into low screams after them johnny faircloth he leans out the window yelling at them shaking his fist yeah we chase them down yeah we all get out of the car yeah there's four of them there's ben junior johnny faircloth on our side me i don't count there's words a few fuck you's they're drunk one of them steps forward ben junior he grabs me by the arm he puts me in the middle he says any of you motherfuckers touches him i'm going to break your fucking heads open ben junior lest i forget to say he's a big fucking badass redneck the other guys laugh i try to back away ben junior he pushes me forward i stumble forward i bump into the other guy ben junior fucking nails him in the jaw he goes down hard the others drag him away get back into their car i get back into the backseat of the impala

stella the other night she bites baby i bleed for you we argue she's hurt i've hurt her it's deep baby i bleed for you are tattooed on my skin indelible ink baby brand me with your teeth i'm good take a chisel to my heart take your piece

my cousin ben junior he's off fucking peterson's sister peterson he gets drunk gets into ben's car it's a lot of fucking car peterson he finds the keys vroom vroom wheels smoke car jumps the curve slams right into a fucking tree me and my cousin robbie come driving up right about then robbie he slams on his brakes and is out of his car before it even stops i yank up the parking brake he runs up to the impala he pulls peterson out of the car he holds him out just fucking cocks him one cocks him another blood spurts out of peterson's nose lips a tooth dangles i stand there robbie drops peterson on the ground peterson's he's drunk robbie tells me to get back into the car we pull into the driveway

fuck

southern salute cuthbert georgia my kind of town and all that

the line moves at home video speed one ancient union member punching on a keyboard with a single finger he's bent over like fucking bartleby himself i'm maybe six seven back in line two jar heads behind me they are going home wherever home is i don't talk to them got nothing to say i'd just get into some stoned argument you know just some off the cuff remark like

so whatcha fighting for big guy

no i'm just waiting in line different kinds of people fly on saturday hungover hipster in front of me he's got the little soul patch and long sideburns he had missed his earlier flight

fucking demon alcohol

now he's fucked mister and missus airline they want to charge him extra he's not happy did i mention he was a little hungover they love me though here's your boarding pass mister schmuck have a good flight security finds takes my lighter fuck i went and broke my rule always fly with two lighters they find one they don't go looking further left my other one in the car sitting right there on the console i had a lot on my mind dig important trip had to get my shit together had to get jet plane ready had to get down with club rasta all by myself in the car on the drive to the aerodrome click my bic flash burn breathe ah flying high baby

walking through the airport talking to my business partner on the phone talking shit i'm buzzed joking we're getting pumped unveiling the new company big trade show yeah dig unveil to the world the last two fucking years of my life i'm pumped i got this adrenalin running through me got me skimming across the surface there she is sitting down right next to where i got to be she got that elle aa law business mini skirt thing going on sheer white stockings riding all the way up to where i wanna be goddamn i ask i say may i sit here she nods annoyed i smile i wink she looks away i don't i admire those long long legs that reach all the way up to heaven itself she crosses those legs goddamn in that way in that way you know that way goddamn crosses them twice i don't even have to ask i already know she's going home i already know she's headed to texas i wonder if

big hair means big head

on the plane flight crew tension flight attendant is telling me telling us several of us up and down the aisle our guy he tells us he's being forced to retire been working thirty five fucking years i'm trying to be sympathetic but jesus fucking christ dude don't be giving me the flame out the call me bruce wrist flopping complaining i'm trying to be on your side my man but you're really being harsh on my mellow

i just want to be stoned and fly

land in atlanta round about midnight yeah baby atlanta gee aa on my way on our way check into my hotel room thought about hitting the sack but i need flame can't sleep without my evening toke travel to the east coast my hours all fucked up all outa whack gotta get green gunz don't you know kind green bud needs friendly fire baby

head downstairs into the bar looking for matches might as well buy a pack of cigs what the fuck lo and behold its my team they got here earlier the younger guys and gals they're in sipping suds they're feeling fine i come on in i give them the love i sit down and hang they try to buy me drinks they haven't been on the road with me they don't know me i beg off i pass out cigarettes we laugh we joke others come into the bar it's my man ess from a previous life my old company the one that fucked me my girl cee she comes over she loves me she gives me a drunken hug her lovely lovelies pressed against me

i kiss her neck she melts momentarily in my arms

recovers and kisses me on the cheek we all gather around a couple of tables i'm the link between the two groups i must emcee i must be the master of ceremonies elle from my current team she's had a few she leans over she whispers into my ear she simmers she says so who is that pointing at cee i say baby don't you worry i still love you most she smiles that drunken grin eyes bright

goddamn i miss a bar where you can smoke

we hang for an hour or so a few of us retire to my room the rasta party must begin i'm thinking fuck i got a nine o'clock breakfast meeting fuck it team building baby i roll out the kind green bud my brilliant young israeli engineer he can write code that will conjure up satan himself he's only twenty five never even went to college i love him i might have his baby he hoovers bowls sweet elle she starts talking tattoos i say i say oh baby you just gots to show me that tattoo where is this tattoo she smiles winks says which one baby goddamn lifts her shirt the letters

are pea em

scroll around her hips initials of an old boyfriend i ask where is he now she says fucking dead to me whew baby that's harsh she says yeah i say so is that all got any more she says if you play some guns n roses i'll show you more

eye tunes don't fail me now

give her a little i don't love her i had to kill her she giggles grins wiggles a bit more a big ol celtic knot right in the middle of her back ooohs and ahs all around cee she slides next to me she's a bit jealous she whispers invitations into my ears i look at her seriously i say baby you know i want to fuck you like there's no tomorrow but but but all these people here how about tomorrow she nods says yeah

phatmike don't shit where he sleeps

she'll forget by tomorrow reason number one why i don't drink on the road a little whiskey would have greased that rail don't you know so easy so so easy so sloppy i finally run them out of the room late late up early how many hours sleep this old body can't take this kind of hit caffiene injected meet billy tee for breakfast yo man yo man here's the deal he pushes back he say no here's the deal i say hey i say ho yo let's just dance baby you come by on the show floor you come by you look at our magic he grins he says yeah i'm coming by i say baby i know you are

we gots da shit

i make my way to the convention center it's on with the show fucking hits us head on smacks us right up side the head the curtain is pulled back holy holy we are the priests of television yah yah can you just fucking dig it baby can you dig it they come in waves all wanting to take communion at our alter we hold services we place the wafer on their panting tongues get in line plenty of love for everyone

i can see the image of jesus etched into the foam of my cappucino

out to dinner with the team sweet young thing that i just hired she's new to my team she's late twenties she says she has country values i dig that especially when she's sitting right here next to me wearing a push up bra and a tight low cut sweater she calls me sir well fuck that i'm thinking the only time i want you calling me sir is when you are blindfolded naked hands cuffed behind your back on your knees goddamn then you may call me sir if you can still talk with my cock in your mouth goddamn but

phatmike he don't shit where he sleeps

besides she's twenty seven what the fuck am i going to talk to her about later i'll just jack off thinking about her in the after midnight darkness of my room better than elimidate lemme tell you

big big meeting in the morning i got interviews i got to hire people i'm on the phone early with a guy in the you kay goddamn someone put a fire under this guy's ass these fucking brits are so fucking dry he spoils my fucking hardon show me some fucking excitement cocksucker i'm walking across the convention center while i'm talking stopping to shake hands with everyone i know i know everyone yo baby how goes it yeah fucking eh where you been yeah i been around how's it hanging cap'n yeah come by and see us let me show you a little dance let me show you how to do the let's all do the

twist

big big meeting around lunch time i've already had seventeen cups of coffee i'm flying we fucking nail it we're changing the world well at least that part of it that is televised we got the powerpoint thing going down hey baby it's only tee vee don't you know numbers numbers everywhere we going to make you so much money honey just gotta give me a little bit just a little bit come on baby just give me a little love just give me a little ink they nod they yeah let's do this deal goddamn i love the deal the art of the deal the hunt it's all about the hunt hunting and shooting the motherfucker get the agreement done here's a tee here's a see don't give me any farming give me a gun i love the hunt walk out of the meeting i feel like

i just got laid

my cock feels four feet long stiff and hard and ready for more goddamn baby best not bend over to pick up that coin i'm going to take you right here hike that skirt rip off those cotton undies goddamn back across the convention floor they're lined up ten deep take a number fuckers whatcha got next next next run 'em through

hey it's only tee vee you cocksuckers

not like i'm curing cancer or anything serious it's only tee vee out in the evening with a friend we eat a little sushi it's monday night it's women's drag night at the sushi bar butch women in atlanta man they scare me they make the berkeley dykes those standard setters for us all make the berkeley dykes look almost fucking tame with lipstick and hair product makes me nervous walk around the old hood down around piedmont park

fucking wore out from these days of intense meetings and long dinners and long sitting around the room getting totally fucking stoned with work play mates as we plot out the next days' events fucking killer dick pumping days workwise nearly killing me healthwise very enriching soulwise goddamn glad i'm leaving soon can't keep up this pace fuck i grew up not far from here i went to college here but i don't really know this place any more it's so familiar yet so foreign like what the fuck happened to mo's and joe's for chrissake and what the fuck is that building my old man used to talk like this and i'd always say fuck dad get over it now listen to me fuck i did walk by the last hovel i lived in as a student the other night i'm walking down the sidewalk with an old friend of mine we're laughing we're talking smoking bowlage we laugh we smoke weed while walking she's barefooted quite cool being back in the old hood right off of piedmont park the hovel was stil there didn't really look that different that was cool at least something stayed almost the same

the jay-man calls me it's past midnight he wants to come by my room he wants to bring his love with him the thing is his love she is engaged to another the jay-man he found her on the rebound just coming off a divorce bounced into her arms didn't know what he had until she had gone now he's in love she's in love too just too bad just too bad doesn't work that way fuck don't process all the time get in the way

wedding's been paid for

i feel bad we're sitting there smoking bowls in the wee hours twenty floors up looking out over all of atlanta beautiful night i see the jay-man look at her goddamn he's in love i see the way she looks at him goddamn she's in love i want to stand up and just scream hey just scream hey it's the love it's all about the love why can't we just all be in love why is it so fucking complicated but i don't and i think the world is worse for it

next day we are back on i'm exhausted that's all right that's oh kay pump it up baby one more day final stretch lay it out lay it out a fucking high stake game of three card monty pick a card any card by now third day we are the buzz we are the fucking buzz everyone wants to come talk to us everyone wants to come see us play with us be our friends

kyrie eleison down the road that i must travel

next night yeah the last night hanging with tee vee guys one woman she's from em tee vee franzi has his eyes on her dude both jay-man and i suggest not wise to fuck a client jay-man and i spend some quality time together we talk about him and his lost love he opens even more i'm becoming fond of the jay-man i've only known him for seven eight months now but i've become quite fond of the guy we share secrets we share stories i'm nervous though he works for me tedious line to walk but i feel comfortable

end up hanging with my guru vee late night in my room smoking copious amounts of marijuana vee is my holy man vee is my friend one of my best friends we talk about the four goals of the common man dharma kama artah moksha righteousness love wealth liberation of the soul none more important than the other all important we weave around these smoke bowls talk about how it applies to life how we live in this world and try to attain these goals how we fucking work in this industry and seek these things i ask if they are competing paths he says of course they are life is continuously at odds preconceived notions must always be attacked questioned the path is algorithmic just got to find the right pattern the one that fits

kama baby that one always fits we just got to make it fit

love is all we got pumped up in atlanta gee aa and all that         

yeah sitting on an airplane

one of them days one of them times yeah travelin fuck go figure how long i been doing this shit sitting on a fucking plane here on the fucking tarmac of dee eff dubya big metal tube with small torturous windows can't open them fuck

once once you know once not too long ago but sort of too long ago me in my twenties me some fuck off in some fucking italian suit in some fucking airplane flying between san francisco and dee eff dubya ain't going to dallas ain't going to fort worth i'm going to los colinas yeah nineteen eighties fuck ronald reagan fuck oliver north fuck irangate fuck libya fuck go ahead kill kaddafi's baby fuck blow up some marines fuck kill some contras fuck suck my dick fuck los colinas it ain't even a real city it's a made up city it's like a few high rises and a couple of hotels connected by a monorail that doesn't work surrounded by some fake canals that shouldn't be there sitting in the middle of a bunch of fucking prairie dogs in a deserted ranch that defines the dee em zee between dallas and forth worth it's the stupidest town i've ever seen i've been coming to los colinas for two years the fucking monorail has never worked there's a building with a herd of bronze mustangs splashing through a fake river there's a bad restaurant called the mustang something in this building the mustang something has a bar the bar contains traveling expense account fuckers in suits like me and local monied fuckers wearing armani suits cowboy boots belt buckles hair gel i don't think they're going to vote for dukakis hell i can barely hold my nose and vote for the little fucker mike mike mike what's with driving the fucking tank what's that all about goddamn dude have some self respect for chrissake one of them days one them goddamn days goddamn times one of them times

fast forward twenty years we got george dubya in his little fly boy suit mission accomplished thirty two people already been killed dead in eye raq this month april of two thousand six and we ain't even half way done with this month new york times kill box it listed five dead soldiers the youngest he was twenty years old my one and only oldest son he's nineteen years old one and only favorite daughtere she's seventeen one and only youngest son he's fourteen fuck it's april twelve i ain't even paid my taxes yet and we got thirty two soldiers dying in the desert this month fuck little mike with the pill popping kitty kat wife he gets laughed at for driving the tank george he gets the big thumbs up go figure

little mike they say he let a guy out of prison paroled a guy from prison yeah old willie horton he got out of prison he raped and killed someone yeah probably some white woman yeah that's bad don't know if little mike had anything to do with that but little mike he lost the election to dubya's daddy anyway yeah they say dubya's daddy played the willie card seems like someone ought to be playing the willie card again we need a big old deck of cards though our good old boy dubya done fucked up a lot more people don't you know

i don't care i'm sitting on an airplane in a big metal tube on the runway of dee eff dubya the new york times in my hands the kill box looking at me telling me that five more died yesterday i can't read their names i can't read how they died my eyes water a bit must have got something in my eyes because

i don't care ain't none of them my boys ain't none of them my daughter i don't care baby i'm an anarchist i'm an artist i'm a preacher i'm a fucking whore i don't care i don't care they ain't they ain't my kids i gots to tell you my kids they know better teach your children well better watch out better not shout don't teach your children well they end up putting on a uniform

i don't care they can go fuck themselves all those stupid kids running around the desert shooting people blowing people up getting shot getting blown up where's they mammas and daddies why aren't they mammas and daddies out in the street why ain't they don't know don't know when johnny gee eye joe came in da house wearing his brand new uniform why didn't his daddy take a hammer to his feet why why didn't his mamma sneak a little antifreeze tasteless odorless into his gatorade

i don't care i don't know ain't my kids fuck 'em

sitting on the tarmac in a big old airplane in a small fucking seat right next to me is this guy he's a dot com'er i overhear him on the phone he's running some business called military dot com it's a community site military dot fucking com a community space fuck that what community the two hundred fifty thousand veterans who are denied medical care each year from the vee aa what community maybe the villages the cities destroyed in eye raq maybe the schools the mosques the churches the houses all the houses maybe the hundreds of thousands of us touched tetched by death each and every death yeah let's put up a memorial let's honor the dead

fuck that

there's no honor there's no glory throw them all in a hole cover 'em with dirt give 'em a tombstone that says here lies some sucker a bunch of suckers don't worry one born every minute we'll have more to take their place

military dot come for chrissakes like on tee vee we now got the military channel a sister to the history channel we got discovery wings all about the great wars in the air hey we got the fucking blue angels yeah baby come fly over my city let's convince all these young fucks to join up sign up do a hitch let them join the army make 'em join the navy air force marines let 'em join the goddamn army corps of engineers let 'em join the sea bees hell even they got a john wayne movie fuck sign 'em up give them some discipline make a man out of 'em give 'em a career teach 'em to be self sufficient shave that head skin that head buff up in boot camp baby show me your pecs goddamn come on home and get some prison pussy down on polk street let's go kill us some sand niggers goddamn then we'll make a tee vee channel all about it

i don't care i don't know 'em ain't my kids fuck 'em

one of them days one of them times yeah travelin fuck go figure how long i been doing this shit sitting on a fucking plane here on the fucking tarmac of dee eff dubya big metal tube with small torturous windows can't open them fuck can't wait to get home see my baby see my babies

killing an arab staring at the barrel at the arab on the ground sees out my mouth but i don't hear a sound i'm alive i'm dead i'm the stranger killing an arab

tired tired traveling blues kill boxes american dreams and all that

i do dig i do dig the rain something about it that not a fucking thing to be done about it feeling just makes me want to get naked lay on my back in a muddy field hear the schlurpp schlurpp of my fingers and toes sliding in and out of the cool cool mud open my mouth drink her up drink her up fuck me up

in a good way

the woman on my super soul see dee she says she sings she can't stand the rain against her window bringing back sweet memories shit

man i dig the rain

yeah yeah i dig the rain the drizzle the downpour the gusts the hail the cats the dogs this incessant fucking precipitation been raining all month here in san francisco parts hereabouts been raining a lot been raining so much they say they claim those insisting they are in the know they claim most rain in history recorded history that is don't know much about the rain before recorded history go down that path start getting into the ark and noah or jonah and the whale jesus walking on water and injun tales before the time of the coyote or maybe just tales of katrina i don't know i don't really care

i been gone so long

been gone so long look like home to me been traveling too much been on the road too much been thinking bout things too much been working too much ain't been living enough gonna be living more this thinking make me tired shit

man i dig the rain i missed it

this rain it washes away my sins don't you know build me an ark get me some chickens get me some pigs get me a mule and forty acres my grandmamma she used to say that if the sun shined while it rained it meant the devil was beating his wife she did she did say that i never questioned her my grandmamma she was an ornery cuss best not to question my grandma

yeah i dig the rain this fucking rain record breaking yah i don't care i been gone i missed it i don't mind the rain this is my city this is my town i represent this ain't new york with its budding blue springtime just bursting out all over blooming breasts breasts everywhere not a one to pinch no man this is san francisco fuck you new york fuck you and the big apple you got stuck up your ass this is san francisco we represent

i burn in the rain my shoulders sizzle steam with each drop landing finding its mark i dig the rain yeah sugar i know i know it attacks your roof floods your closet i'm so sorry bout that but but but i still dig the rain you standing on your roof yellow slicker maybe one hand holding onto your hat the other a raised fist raised to the sky cursing the rain fight it baby fight the good fight

let it out

fight that shit me though today i'm just going to lean back spread my arms open my mouth breathe in the rain i got gills don't you know

i wish i were naked

i dig swimming in the rain water below me water above me breathe fucker breathe what could be better maybe all this and a little fucking too yeah shit swim sauna serenade shower i dig sitting out on the back deck with my man pete drinking coffee bowl smoking we have no shame swapping stories telling tales laying down lies my man pete he speaks he shares story he went to good nephew's bar mitzvah pete not being part of the tribe not even an honorary member perhaps an honorary member once removed pete not being part of the tribe finds himself up on the bema

the rabbi a woman

they're in oakland dykes dykes everywhere not a one to fuck the rabbi a woman my man pete his spiritual being heading south his mind exploring a little bit outside the lines of the picture provided gets a woodie a rise in the levis probably dockers he was at temple don't you know staring at the curve of the rabbi's thigh an apparently very sensuous thigh enhanced by god himself by yahweh herself as it her thigh peeked from beneath the slit of her skirt

ooh la la duck here comes the lightening bolt fuck

i do dig i do dig the rain

walking on the beach the rain the drizzle it blends mixes as the wind blows in the mist from the breaking waves white caps tossing flotsam jetsam trash plastic two liter sprite bottles broken up chunks of styrofoam seaweed and the random dead sea lion cuda likes the dead things never met a dead sea animal she didn't want to get closer to get intimate with yeah me and cuda walking on the beach in the rain throwing a stick into the water chase it splash splash nothing so humbling as seeing a hundred five pound dog being flipped upside down by a big crashing wave only to go out and do it again and again and again

me sitting on a dead log on the beach in the rain in the light drizzly rain drops splattering on the pages of my moleskine as i write smudging some of the letters hope i can read them later it's oh kay if i don't i don't care i don't fucking care

got me one those feel good moments i do dig i do dig the rain

walking on clement street in the rain stepping over around through the puddles on the cracked bumpy sidewalk dancing daintily across the oily splotches as i cross from corner to corner dim sum steamers fogging up the big glass windows if this store's a rockin' don't come a knockin' fish on ice on big tables big chunks of what used to be fish whole fish walk inside live fish lobster crab buckets upon buckets of oysters clams mussels i want to do a cuda climb up on one of the tables and just wallow in the stench then walk outside let the rain

wash my stench away

umbrellas colliding on tightly packed sidewalk i dodge the points like kane dodged bullets on kung fu take the pebble from my hand grasshopper grass smoker sticky sticky keep it kickin' my my my she is so fucking adorable there sitting beneath her own umbrella wide and black like a proper english boomershoot there she is sitting on the edge of the big planter outside the korean barbecue restaurant talking on her cell phone her mobile i pause for a second so adorable if we fuck right here right now here in the rain would she stop talking she seems kind of young for me don't know what we'd talk about anyway

i do dig i do dig the rain
 
walk into green apple bookstore i do dig walking into green apple bookstore from outside in the rain the rain brings out the musty smell i don't need any books no time to read these days but i like to buy books i like to hold books i like the feel i like the heft i like worn pages of a good used book see who might have owned it before see what silly little nonsensical notes they may have left behind sentences highlighted in yellow i'm sure they had meaning to someone at sometime i like to underline random phrases myself kind of a passing down into posterity some philosophy of chaotic blue ink i buy three books for myself a book of poetry for one and only youngest son he's in the midst of a poetry feast i try to feed the beast he's gone gourmand on me wants more wants more

i do dig i do dig the rain

sitting inside sitting at a little table at toy boat looking out through the big plate glass window watching the people walk by walking down clement street crowded crowded so crowded sunday afternoon shoppers doing their end of weekend beginning of week food thing vegetable fruit stands chinese herbs irish bars vietnamese indonesian burmese thai chinese dim sum asian cell phone stores anime comic stores it's raining it doesn't matter

things got to be bought traded bartered cash is preferred coin accepted

i said hey stella let's go to the beach she said no it's fucking raining i'm tired of the rain i said hey stella let's go to clement street she said no it's raining i'm tired of the rain both toy boat and green apple have neil young playing on the stereo i think i'm living within a conspiracy jay eff kay killed by jay edgar and the mafia world trade center blown up by the jews the walk on the moon never happened staged on some movie set in huntsville alabama

elvis lives

sat on the back deck of the club smoked a bowl in the rain have i no shame i have no shame fuck it yeah fuck it

i said stella let's take a walk in the woods she said no it's raining i'm tired of the rain stella she hasn't been away i've been away she's stayed with the shit i've been away a lot this year new gig don't you know working like a field nigger don't you know flying everywhere but home i miss home i dig the rain i dig anything i can get out of this place

give me a morsel i just need a crumb if i could only swirl your cunt beneath my nostrils like the fine glass of wine it is you are if only if only i'd be a happy man give me a morsel i just need a crumb

i do dig the rain and all that

 

i get lost in oakland

yeah shit doesn't really bother me getting lost is no big deal i get lost all the time i am what you might call geographically challenged directionally suspect i get lost pretty much everywhere i go office buildings shopping malls i get lost in los gatos i get lost in hotel elevators i get lost inside my own head i get lost inside dark rooms i get lost with you don't you know now don't you know

ain't no big deal i get lost i get found i get lost i find myself parts of me shit been lost for years some i miss some i kind of forget maybe they'll show up some day

it's not like i'm locked out i got the key to your heart i just can't seem to jiggle the lock

but hey

simple sugar simple simone lord of hosts the holy ghost stand up scream tell me all about it lift your eyes to the lord open your arms open your heart open your cunt open your fucking soul simple sugar simple simone she says

testify

testify with love lust hatred fear loathing insecurity confidence mostly just love testify with love but but but later but later down the road the second right after the light right past the big chicken across the street from the saw mill on the south side of town but later so as not to taint this tale with such amorous language as to make you swoon as to make you feel all special in that certain pair of panties especially purchased from fredericks mail order click and pay delivered to your house in a plain brown package complete with its own little appropriately dirty message that you just felt at the time that you just knew at the time would be so cute to read upon package receipt girlish giggle and all let's not taint this tale with any such romantic notions of white knights of johnny depp playing don juan

yes celebrity fucking in our dreams

how is he does brad pitt float in through your window fuck you from behind whisper into your ear tell you tales tainted tales of love how is he does his dick dance do his fingers play great balls of fire on your clit do they does he how is he

let's not taint this tale with some sordid soiree swept from your feet falling to buckled knees back of hand to forehead swoon baby swoon god i love that word slow spin slide crumple to floor in a pile of lime green chiffon taffeta that wispy shit of doris day rock hudson pillow talk party line

archetype

i wonder if god already knows how many times that i masturbated to doris day when i was thirteen i wonder if he knows or if i will have to confess at the pearly gates ah fuck saint peter cut a brotha some slack did you see her in the movies come on pretty fucking hot yeah let's not taint this tale with the ever safe oh this drink just goes straight to my head makes me all dizzy no let's not taint this tale with any such drugstore novel of suburban surrender to the moment to the moment of temporary lustful insanity

no not tonight let's ask the question let's beg the question let's seek the truth let me read your tea leaves let me toss the i ching upon your naked stomach let's sit around the fire let's sit within the sweat lodge pass the talking stick

let me tilt my cock at the fucking windmill

will i ever know i will never know will i ever discover i will never discover will i ever uncover will i ever stretch the canvas ah pancho is love art is art love let me paint my story let me draw tales of midnight soft broad brush quick soft strokes circling circling circadian spirals around about such a lovely scar of birth this innie of femininity not too taught as to be jockish not too shallow as to invoke disinterest

a little belly makes us all human

not too shallow no just deep enough to catch the salty drops of desire that cascade from above flow from the erotic tips of mount saint ta ta yes explode for me erupt my name from your lips moan it with anger cast it out fling it out with love just get it out so i can replace it with my cock yes

i will be crude i will be vulgar i will be fucking boorish henry miller go fuck yourself bukowski go fuck yourself ah monsieur de sade go fuck yourself jim carroll go fuck yourself henry rollins go take your black flag and fuck yourself up the ass i will

pour words buckets of words class five rapids

words pouring down the pubic mound like the colorado constant whirlpools of truth surrounding the cunt carelessly cave art mastodons spears javelins tossed thrown wildly by lord krishna himself the elk the wolf the bull his cock dragging the edges of the taint blues reds oranges swirling amidst my own sacred text learned parables pussy driven paradox translated into french arabic hindi except where only the english will work

for me

because i am too fucking lazy to look up the polynesian for

cunt

can't spare the time can't depart the moment can't let go of the canvas dip my brush swipe my brush wave my brush across the palette mix the colors swirl the colors lift the leg write my will i do hereby leave all my earthly treasures dearly beloved marry me death do us part sugary slut inside the thigh high and inside strike two foul tip on the thigh odes to caddie twisting up and round and round and round the entire left callipygian cleft until snopes and his devil children can no more haunt my dreams

open a bottle of musky bourbon stolen from the abandoned shelf of childhood past childhood future stolen from your old man's closet hope he kept it hope he didn't pass it down the closet not the bourbon we welcome the bourbon yeah open the bottle throw away the cork let it burn let it burn let the raspy throat read aloud

translations so poorly resolved

between the shoulders ah goddamn the curve of the scapulae sitting softly stately stylishly even beneath the satin skin canvas basquiat dances prances enchanted worthy constituents of early dutch settlements ah the good they do die young but that's oh kay that's all right love of money love of riches love of fame touching fame keeps us aflame goddamn

set this house afire

cunt juices and saliva mix with the darker colors anal patina don't you know won't you please bullseye yellow black blue read entering your heart from behind oh yes did you not know knot know i will take your heart fuck your soul from behind baby but you'll not suffer silent still stiletto slides oh it does slide oh it does so slide name rank serial number bitten into the back of your neck in imprinted embossed morse code whores from the four corners arriving at your doorstep their only desire their only wish to make charcoal rubbings to hang proudly in their own private museums

the letters elle oh vee ee em ee written stenciled beneath the curve of the left breast the letters dee ee esse pee eye esse ee em ee written beneath the curve of the right the masks of greek tragedy comedy biting nibbling swallowing the nipples a map of candyland drawn carefully between drawn in black and red with a bic fine line autographed by milton bradley and all the parker brothers gang bang game of chance cast the die cast the die cast the die has been cast

we cross the river today tis no turning back tis no turning over take a breath breathe now breathe baby your face smothered in the pillow mumble my name speak my name moan my name call me call to me call me careless call me silly call me strange yes strange funny how you called anyway my hot tasty little bowl of chicken and dumplings yeah

call me lost

it wouldn't be so if it weren't so true

slow painful tattoo hopi characters complex contradictory caught one pixel pinch one needle nick dipped from inkwell to skin one little prick at a time across the throat ear to ear so beautiful in form so elegant in appearance its meaning so crude comment dit-on face fuck me here face fuck me now in ancient hopi i shall dance to the moon le mons venus a simple rose with two thorns blooming on one cheek fire breathing dragon fly-by scorching flying by on the other my complete works my mortality sprayed carved etched on the back of your throat meaty brush pumping whilst handfuls of wildness gripped pulled towards away towards away a rope swing of joy flying through the air

across the chasm

yes we're chasm diving tonight

collapsing

into prisms of light from deep within the eyes take a walk through inman park with me let us dream of houses big houses old yes there is always the threat of earthquakes we just never know we just never know when we're going to fall i don't care i don't mind falling sugar i'll fall with you i'll fall for you jack fucked jill all the way down the hill fuck the crown fuck the water i'll drink you up we just never know do we we just never know let's not be afraid

goddamn goddamn

tainting the tale and all that

stella stella smoke like a cigarette you burn so hot right on the tip right on edge you burn so hot touch you touch you burn me i breathe you i inhale you take a drag take it so easy lean back kick back chill back you between my fingers bring you to my lips breathe you in smoke you down

you ain't got no filter i roll you

take a little pinch from the pouch fresh moist ah the aroma taste it just a taste ah la la ooh la la tear a pinch pinch a tear crease the paper sprinkle sprinkle lay it down spread it down roll it roll it up and down goddamn i roll you up and down

twist you up on both ends

goddamn where's my matches my momma told me never to play with matches might get burned might get burnt might get fucking blistered blackened charred you char me girl charcoal filters ain't for us you ain't got no filter i roll you are unadulterated unhomogenized unpasteurized raw fucking raw that glowing bud that fiery bud what the fuck what the fuck lay me down naked lay me down naked on the cold cold slab of stone writhe slither and cry strap me down strap me tie me down tie me goddamn the burn it hurts little cigarette burns all over all over all over scars upon scars these burns they don't go away sizzling skin stinks smells for only a minute this glowing tip so pretty to look at so painful against my skin goddamn these marks that's all right that's oh kay i'll wear long sleeves

we don't want to upset the neighbors

they just don't understand what we got you ain't got no filter i roll you got no additives got no shit you're pure unadulterated you burn slow uneven sometimes you run if i stop breathing you go out extinguish yourself smolder into coolness if i don't breathe you don't burn i breathe for you breathe dawg breathe

goddamn where's my matches

stella smoke up in smoke wisps of smoke where's the fire i fight the dragons i slay the dragons i steal their fire i slice open their throats shove my hands deep into the bloody mess cut out the fire slice out the fire hold it high above my head deep deep in the woods screaming rebel yell blood curdling screech warning all other dragons hold that fire box placenta of fire high over my head dripping blood and shit and napalm onto my head onto my shouders onto the forest floor bushes scrub trees alight bristle cones catch the human torch he commands flame on our world burns around us i bring home the fire i light you up strike it up goddamn stella you fuck me up you singe my edges you burn my fields controlled burn preemptive burn thick black smoke masks the path

you used to love me but you had to kill me i'm buried right here in your back yard i know you're happier this way

how you going to burn if i don't breathe let's see that glowing red tip in the darkened room you ain't got no filter i roll you go out if i ain't breathing if i ain't sucking the life into you through you let's see that glowing red tip let's see it burn

stella cigarette you smolder you fuck me up and all that