goddamn am i ever going to get to sleep am i ever going to get some sleep four fifteen aa em i'm up i'm up i'm up shut the fucker off i got to get up fucking early flight i'm in my funky cool guest house in the west village how many hotel rooms in new york city have a wagon wheel and a yoke hanging on the brick wall goddamn could have easily been some cool little homoerotic ess and em dungeon could have been might have been don't want to second guess my brethren possibilities are endless yes they are

goddamn am i ever going to get to sleep am i ever going to get some sleep up late later than i wanted called stella at eleven eleven thirty said hey baby i'm going to sleep didn't go to sleep finally fell asleep around one thirty two maybe fucking alarm goes down at four fifteen

let me do the math

that ain't enough that ain't enough i manage to take a shower fuck the razor my hand's got that early morning no rem sleep shake might cut my fucking throat might not be a bad idea not today not this morning i got shit to do besides

why would i want to deny stella that pleasure

stumble out the door don't even bother with early morning pre-flight phattie who can fucking see to light the fucking thing anyway step out onto eighth avenue fuck fuck it's cold not only is it cold there's fucking snow ice on the sidewalk i got no jacket i had left san francisco wearing jeans a tee shirt and my leather jacket i always forget that the rest of the world ain't like california

i mean first of all we got some dumb krout as a governor

second third fourth fifth the fucking weed is just so much better don't you know fuck you kansas and your fucking bob dole kickin intelligent designing brown dirt weed sixth seventh eighth most of us read you know like books and shit i'm not talking us weekly bitch ninth tenth eleventh dozeneth the weather is just

the gunz

fuck you texas and your red fucking fire ants

fuck fuck fuck it's cold yah it's cold rain and snow just no rain flag down a cab yellow and warm on the inside smelling like an old hippie's underwear russian dude he says where i say la guardia cocksucker he tells me stories i love cabtime stories he tells me that he is a great gambler he tells me that he is the luckiest man in the world he tells me that he just got back right before his shift he just got back from atlantic city he plays only roulette he won eight thousand dollars last week he won two thousand dollars he is the luckiest man in the world i say

dig

he says he just started gambling two years ago he loves vegas oh my friend i love vegas it is so full of excitement i say you haven't lived here long enough to love vegas because if you did you would know that vegas is the pit of the george bush universe i ask how long he had been in the good old you ess of aa he says two years he says america is a great country he wants to become an american citizen he wants to become rich like ivan bosky i say yeah great country

bridge or tunnel he says i say whatever way is fastest he says tunnel faster but cost four dollar fifty more i say fine let's go tunnel what would be worse being blown up in the tunnel or being blown up on the bridge he grins he says hey i'm luckiest man in world no blowing up today i say

dig

we scream through the city dark city early city people are about not many not many at all one and two and buckle my shoe oh you are the love of my life and then you gorge me with a knife and i'm blue

pop through the tunnel my man is right ain't no blowing up going to happen today i got my lucky piece peace scream through the tunnel scream through the toll booth four fifty boss need a receipt yeah i say yeah scream down the grand central parkway into la guardia up to united got to catch a flight flash my passport ask for upgrade love

denied

goddamn what's a man got to do who's a man got to blow big black buxom babe she don't care fuck catch the shuttle down to dee cee dulles just in time action walk up to gate see one right when the door is closing walk to my seat hope my fucking luggage made it that would suck big green donkey dicks big green ones indeed

slide into my seat at least it's an exit row at least it's an aisle seat like a beggar in the sand with the sky in his hand i'm blue

lightening

oh the heavy word is frightening i chat with my seatmate some scientist type expert in geospatial telemetry fuck i'm digging it i engage i know this shit fuck i can banter with the best of scientists that's why i'm

the deal guy

i can drop terms i can drop names i can drop newspaper articles i even pull up the science page from my new york times i say hey here's something we chat he's a boy scout leader i talk about the boys' club stuff i do we do the family chit chat we talk backpacking we talk science some more i wonder if he is having the same thoughts about the buxom blonde across the aisle and one row up i mean he should be he's a fucking guy that's what guys do we have crude carnal thoughts about buxom blondes sitting across the aisle from us

we think about fucking all the time

well at least i do i guess i really don't know about the rest of you pussies out there yeah yeah world peace yeah yeah new orleans yeah yeah coal miners yeah yeah eye rack but really i mean that's conscious shit i'm talking about feeling it i'm talking about living it i'm talking about

fucking

feeling it from the inside out all the time all the time i'm like a child in the sand on the beach on the land of you baby

twelve movies i don't watch any of them i'm working i'm listening to tee rex on the eye pod i'm writing i'm reading my harper's lewis lapham my man my hero he's ranting god i love a good rant he's ranting about impeaching bush i'm on that wagon

yeah yeah but i'm still thinking about doing the nasty with the buxom blonde across the aisle one row up

the bathroom is two rows up from me i get up to go take a leak the bus boy i mean waiter i mean steward flight attendant whatever he says i can't use that bathroom i need to go thirty rows back to the other bathroom this bathroom is for business class fuck this guy i paid more for my ticket than most of the cocksuckers on the bus i'm about to say something i don't i'm a polite motherfucker my momma she taught me manners

hey i'm a cracker but not a redneck

i don't even talk to the cocksucker i just go into the business class bathroom anyway he rolls his eyes and puts his hands on his hips ah jesus he's going to go queenie on me i shut the door i just want to take a fucking piss for god's sake there goes my chance to get that extra bag of pretzels

land at heathrow many hours dance through customs they don't even notice the three pounds of cocaine in my briefcase yeah i'm just kidding george you know i don't travel with that kind of stuff you know i quit that years ago dance through customs pick up my luggage it's there waiting for me not bad not bad grab some poundage out of the aa tee em machine catch the express train into paddington catch a cab to the hotel over on regents park check into hotel sitting at my desk it's midnight here

i can't sleep

of course all i want to do is sleep there's no buxom blonde from across the aisle there's no stella there's no kind green bud there's just british television and you i didn't even drink coffee today fuck

stuck in london with a short fuse fuck oh black day all you give to me are your wild ways you are the love of my life and then you gorge me with a knife and i'm blue

fuck who needs sleep and all that  

aw sugar sugar i did have a dream last night i did i did me and mohammad we be sitting around with jesus and mahatma we be sitting around a little fire little evening fire sitting around on stools passing around some kind green bud you know so real so real i look over at mohammad he has that slight feminine curve to his hairless chin such

a nice throat

small adams apple almost like a filipina tee ess at club diva on post street you know down on the edge of the tenderloin i look over give him that wanna fauna look he drops his drawers leans over the stool

i mount mohammad

yeah i did have a dream last night i did i did almost cartoonish in nature funny thing jesus and old mahatma they pull out their cocks fucking not going to believe this the fucking jew has a schlong like a scimitar big and curving up and toward him goddamn mahatma i must admit he has quite the average peter

mohammad man he feels good

riding that camel must keep his tuchus tight he moans oh man he moans like the midday prayers god is love baby we're both loving it we're laughing we're giggling almost

cartoonish

yeah i did have a dream last night i did i did mohammad he like morphs into this beautiful young woman hair grows hips widen he she leans over the stool i plow into her his wet cunt not missing a stroke he she moans like the morning prayers morning fuck

have i ever told you how much i love a morning fuck

mohammad baby jesus sidles up in front mohammad he she grabs that scimitar of a cock opens wide swallows deep jesus moans mohammad hums i sing mahatma chants we're a cacophony of wonder of ecstacy of love of earthly godly heavenly love almost

cartoonish

yeah i did have a dream last night i did i did i dance around naked on the beach beneath the full moon pan dances with me we dance he plays the pipes there is a fire sparkles float up float up float up to become stars in the night we dance oh yes we dance tonight tonight we dance float up float up to become stars almost

cartoonish

allah artist earth mother sweetness look on they hold hands they kiss they smooch they even fondle a bit in that playful sort of way they pull out their brushes they paint rich rich scenes on dull canvas michael the archangel he flies around with his sony hi def camera getting that close up mister de mille mohammad's skin so smooth so smooth mohammad's skin so smooth i stroke his her cheek with my finger tips oh my oh my michael with each good picture he does a little jump fluttering his wings hovering a bit off the ground clapping his pasty hands in that bruce kind of way michael the archangel a flaming faggot who would have thought he was oh so

cartoonish

my cock pops out i spew love high into the night sky white creamy love sprays floats floats up floats up to become stars mohammad looks over his shoulder her shoulder her lips open in wonder open releasing the jesus scimitar spewing his own starry starry night star light star bright first star i see tonight i wish i may i wish i might mahatma puts down his bong and takes a big old bite of chocolate chip cookie and a big old gulp of

cold milk

yeah i did have a dream last night i did i did i dance around naked and all that

i so dig sitting in the airport stoned a little rasta love in the parking lot jah is love baby fly high fly united sitting in the airport in one of those oh so comfortable airport chairs stoned heart still fast thumpa thumpa from walking through security with weed that feeling it never goes away you know that little quickening the flashing blue lights in the rear view mirror fuck i hate that brings back such south georgia paranoia driving down the back way down the old quitman highway seventeen years old a pound of brown mexican ragweed in the trunk shit we could buy it for a hundred eighty dollars a pound fucking blue lights come speeding up from behind fucking pissing in my pants fucking redneck hero cops in the backfuckingwoods speeds up from behind gets right behind we start to pull over the oh shits flying oh shit oh shit oh shit the fucking cop speeds on around and leaves us behind you know it's rarely that bad

walking through security

it's rarely that bad unless they start searching through the luggage i always hate that i rarely carry it in my suitcase i mean i usually just carry it on me but hey i never know fuck might just have left something in the suitcase shit i'm finding myself losing these little bags all over the house shit i'm finding them all the time shit how did that get there you know that slide my hand into my jacket pocket some jacket i haven't worn in a while sliding my hand in and finding a joint yo what is this fucking eh that's kind of a wonderful moment don't you think so yeah i just never know it's rarely that bad

walking through security

usually i just walk right through they don't fucking care they know i'm all about love they can feel it they can feel the glow i'm good i'm so good and baby and baby and baby i just love a woman in a uniform what you gonna do with that baton goddamn usually i just walk right through but that feeling you know that feeling it never goes away kind of an

adrenalin thing

sitting in the airport stoned watching the people making up their stories for them they don't know i know the oakland airport crowd they're different from the ess eff oh crowd the oakland crowd puts the edge on whether they are hipsters honing it or the east of the tunnel danville pastel bunnies blurring it

sitting in the airport stoned talking to my man j on the phone we're all over he's there i'm here he's here i'm there trying to grow this thing trying to bust this thing this tee vee thing love and admiration respect oompa loompa talking to my man j these two cute dykes sitting nearby i'm listening to them as much as to my man j they're young i love the young fresh newly turned dykes they're so cute i mean they're like puppies yeah sometimes vicious little pit bull puppies but i like that too i wink at one she flips me off i love the newly turned dyke especially the militant ones goddamn she flips me off i smile i keep talking to my man j

thank you sugar i'll think of you tonight wrapped up in the darkness of my room just me and you and my bottle of hotel body lotion and a recent episode of elimidate

love and sugar

sitting at the airport stoned working it working it we're out of control we need to stop and breathe yeah just breathe heading for denver that's in colorado i mean it's oh kay it's not a bad place but but but

where's the fucking ocean

i just don't get it yeah yeah yeah mountains skiing they're all so fucking healthy here i don't know which one is worse the fucking healthy glow of those in the northwest or those in denver fuck they're all the same people i think grown from the same weed i'm yeah i admit it i've turned into one provincial cocksucker walked up to the desk another woman in a uniform this time that lovely united airlines ensemble she looked less an authority figure more

where's the fucking ocean

no upgrade love for yours truly fuck walk onto the plane behind this cowboy looking motherfucker hat boots shaved head big old fu manchu fuck don't know if this guy is the real thing or just some badass faggot from folsom street this brokeback mountain has all the boys in chaps don't you know i wouldn't fuck with them

love and sugar baby love and sugar

no fucking rental cars in denver ended up on some rickety van driving off to drive my momma's truck and car rentals get some fucking car looks like a beach cruiser they gave me this package it was a navigation system that plugs into the cigarette lighter how the fuck do i light my joint if the fucking navigation system is plugged in such was my fucking solomon's choice of course the navigation system got the boot i'll fucking wing it i fire up the joint then plug the system back in not a good idea driving and trying to punch in the address i manage i live i survive there was this one cocksucker i drove off the road nah just kidding i drive quite responsibly especially with a toke to take the edge off then i kind of dig that fifty five don't you know just cruise down the road

i so dig the heat going full blast the window down icy fucking wind blowing in blowing through the hot and cold mixing all over i fucking love it the radio screams at me i scream back i do

where's the fucking ocean denver for a couple of days and all that

lawdy lawdy baby let me be your secret little toy let me be let me be that naughty little thing that hums and moans you pick the shape you pick the size sugar darlin i'm flexible if nothing else just call me phatyogimike bend me anyway you like baby let me be your vibrator

keep me hidden

tucked away somewhere in some dark musty drawer maybe give me some company maybe let me hang out with maybe give me some friends keep me company with fresh cotton and lace some of that nice nice soft cotton you know i love the way they smell before and after before and after before and after oh lawdy and

when the day is too long

or the night too lonely or hell darlin if you just get the urge if you just start missing me too much if you just got to re-familiarize yourself with the way i work just need to press my buttons just need to hear me hum i'll hum your favorite songs i'll hum you a tune that will just

send you

and when the day is too long the night too lonely take me hold me girl hold me close let me sing to you let me do the fred astaire along the inside of your thighs let me tiptoe along the precipice of that lucious canyon maybe oh just maybe i might you know when the occasion is just right i might have to dip in a finger if only

to test the waters

just to make sure just to know oh baby i gots to know i gots to know you deep and wide i might have to just check it out don't want to burn myself don't want it to get

too hot

let me tiptoe along the precipice of that lucious canyon occasionally dipping in a finger to test the waters yes let me feel i want to know i want to feel

the shiver and shake

yes let me feel

the quiver and quake

yes let me enjoy the breath that whistles through clenched teeth that growls from deep within that dances on the tongue oh girl oh girl

love me

and let me be your material possession

yeah shivering shaking quivering quaking material possessions and all that

brrrrrr crawled out of the water fifty one degrees that's fahrenheit baby my dick frozen shriveled up the front of my speedo flat like a ken doll but baby but baby but baby had you been there standing on the beach whispering growling

come on give it to me now

i'd have scrambled for that bic lighter i'd have click click clicked fire baby come on john henry come out of your hiding place smoke him out smoke smoke smoke

dig the smoke where there's smoke there's fire where there's fire there's you and baby where you are i'm there i'm so there i want to be there i want to be inside you i want to be around you i want to get down on my knees and worship you like the goddess you are sweet aphrodite

a love supreme a love supreme a love supreme a love supreme

out last night dinner last night some jazz club in the mission the canadians they wanted something funky they wanted the city my clients the canadians man oh man are all canadians this fucking boring maybe just the engineers if i have to hear one more time about the fucking canadian health plan yeah yeah yeah who the fuck cares canadians are like people who live in san jose they try so fucking hard to be cool but let's face it they still live in fucking san jose do you know the way to san jose that ain't the question the question is why the fuck do you care about the way to san jose same with canada give me a fucking break they can sit back and tell dumb american jokes

come on we fucking know you do

sit back and tell dumb american jokes who the fuck cares you're still canadian yeah yeah so you can play hockey yeah yeah neil young but the thing is the thing is for every neil young there's a dozen fucking celine dions and thirty tim horton donut shops and redneck acadians in new brunswick give me a fucking break out to dinner last night some jazz club in the mission the canadians they wanted something funky we ate african food we listened to jazz decent jazz small combo upright bass piano drum brought in a jazz guitar

headed over to the cliff hotel the redwood room all the beautiful people in line on the sidewalk my man j he walks up he palms the man two twenties we walk in like fucking entourage more beautiful people inside the hipsters of san francisco pseudo hipsters the monied hipsters we fit in

we're on expense accounts

we buy drinks the canadians they drink dark beer i apologized for the lack of donuts what can i say we're dumb americans my man j he works the room we me and him we're talking to these two women they just moved up from ell aa my man j is working them he lives in ell aa they hate san francisco they hate living in san francisco they are standing there hating on san francisco i say i ask i say but baby don't be hating on my city one of them one of the haters she says name one cool thing about san francisco i just smile i just grin i look up and down her skinny ass i say

baby you need to come for a swim with me

i'll baptize you in the pool of aphrodite in the chilly bay waters it will change your sorry hating life you cunt of the earth it will change your life don't be hating on my fair city you sound like you need some life changing with your skinny ass the kind of skinny ass

that shit will break if you go animal

break off in your hands like a fucking wishbone i mean when i'm banging like a florida screen door in a hurricane i got to be confident that she ain't going to break that she can take it don't you know she didn't seem to understand fucking ell aa fucking ell aa

yeah i'm a provincial motherfucker

so fucking what lot's of beautiful people milling about dressed up a bit more than me my man j and my canadian friends j and me we went outside stood outside on the sidewalk fucking cold outside the things us cocksuckers will do to smoke a fucking cigarette we smoke a cigarette we chat outside on geary street

my man j he's staying over at the triton on grant he tells me a tale he's my hero i live vicariously through my man j's tales of perversion and opportunity he regales a tale he was having a glass a wine in the bar the triton bar he's reading architectural digest he starts talking to these two women they talk for like half an hour my man j he says something he drops some hint about some datet he had in ell aa one of the women she puts her hand on his arm

an arousing move n'est-ce pas

she says oh you're not gay we thought you were gay my man j he says oh she says the woman with the arousing touch she says oh you know san francisco wine architectural digest you're so good looking he says my man j he doesn't miss a beat he says well i was gay until i met you i think you just turned me

the fingernails dig into his arm

her friend she excuses herself my man j he offers to walk her to her room they get into the elevator half way up she pulls the emergency stop button yeah yeah cliche true but how often does that cliche happen to you my man j he feigns innocence

but what are you doing

she is on him she has it out she says she says she says i need it now he says he says but baby i ain't got no rubber i ain't got no latex i ain't doing you without she says you don't have he says baby this ain't high school i don't keep one in my wallet just in case

a love supreme a love supreme a love supreme a love supreme

we smoke our cigarette we wander back in we're standing around talking chatting two guys near by they puff chests they get into an argument they threaten one another with fisticuffs me and my man j we laugh we shake our heads we're in some hipster bar my man j is from redneck kansas me yeah south georgia cracker we laugh my man j he says

i can't stand a pussy fight

the guys don't do anything of course they mumble grumble at each other stupid fuckers they walk away in opposite direction one comes by us i put a finger to my man j's chest he stumbles backwards he spills his drink some of it going on fight club failure number one he stops still steaming i laugh my man j he makes an apology he's laughing the guy makes this move like he's sizing us up we laugh harder my man j he says

pussy fights are so fucking disappointing

the dude walks away walks away we gather our crew we make exit plans me i'm driving home them they are heading to their hotels i wish my man j much new elevator luck and love i wish my canadian friends bon voyage fucking canadians don't come back unless you got a signed contract and

a bag of money

i walk back to my car i fire up a joint walking across union square i smoke it down i give the bottom third to this dude in a hoodie and baggie jeans he says thanks i say hey no problem jah is love baby he says yeah jah is love

a love supreme a love supreme a love supreme a love supreme

a little coltrane in the see dee player lean back ride low take geary all the way out toward the beach i don't want to get out of my car saint john coltrane he has me tranced he won't let me go he gets inside me he gets inside me he couples with my soul i hit the beach i fire up a bowl i let the see dee play i let saint john float out the waves they break they crash they sing it's one thirty maybe two in the morning the clouds play hide and seek with the moon

i should have cuda with me out here on the beach she loves the beach in the moonlight

i jot notes in my moleskine i jot love notes to you my friend i had a dream i wanted to sleep next to plastic i had a dream i wanted to lick your knees john played his tenor sax moaned his love i drove home my one and only oldest boy home from college for the weekend he wanders down the sidewalk as i parallel park he mocks my feeble attempt i shrug a love supreme i hug him when i get out of the car i miss the fucker we go into the house together

brrrrrr crawled out of the water fifty one degrees that's fahrenheit baby my dick frozen shriveled up the front of my speedo flat like a ken doll but baby but baby but baby had you been there standing on the beach whispering growling

come on give it to me now

a love supreme and all that

little lu you walk through the room you take over the room you walk through the room in a way that makes your old man blush that makes me turn my head that makes me shake my head and grin that gives me pause that makes me close my eyes and just wonder

when did this happen

little lu you slide into that car not into your carseat in the back but behind the wheel you turn the key you wave you're off down the road window down hair blowing in the wind radio blasting atmosphere singing your name

when did this happen

little lu you get on a plane a big jet plane with all your friends with all your pals you come back a month later tanned you've hiked through the desert you've slept under the stars you've taken a ride on a camel you've rolled up your sleeves taken on the burdens of the world you've cared for the world's children you're no longer a child

when did this happen

little lu you are sandwiched between two brothers you started out tormenting the older you embraced the younger you never lost yourself you kept yourself our little girl little girl goddamn now you're grown

when did this happen

little lu i held you in my arms i slept with you cuddled in my arms i carried you for miles and miles in that rainbow sling i held your hand as we crossed the street i pushed you in those swings in the park i danced with you at your bat mitzvah i watched you dance with those boys i only got jealous a little bit now i watch you laugh and talk and smile like the young lady you are

when did this happen

little lu i watched you with your crayons and paints and dress up clothes and clay and your little women and your harry potter and your and your and your digging in the sand at the beach and now i see you with nail polish and blow dryers and eye liner and lipstick and

when did this happen

little lu little lu you know me you got me you have my number you play me like a game of jacks on a warm summer day you got me wrapped around that little finger of yours you are small like your grandmother beautiful like your mother you have the temper of both of them combined you have the love bigger than all of us you say things with such wisdom so beyond the childlike wonder you used to have

when did this happen

little lu you're seventeen today you're grown up you are no longer my little girl you're always going to be my baby girl you are always going to be my one and only daughter you're always going to be my favorite daughter you're seventeen today

when did this happen

goddamn i do indeed love you happy birthday little girl happy birthday and all that
 

oh lawdy what hath god wrought

oh my lady what have we done to offend thee so small minded senators jumping up and down up and down up and down not doing a fucking thing not doing a fucking thing there you go there you go let's just call him justice alito let's just call him justice asshole let's just call him keep your fucking hands eyes ears out of my business what hath she wrought why does she allow us to keep doing this to ourselves we drift we drift we drift further into this fascist fucking sea of shit sea of shit we have delivered ourselves unto satan himself such is the ballet of folly we call the senate

i call the senate spineless

those that call themselves democrats are liars senator di fi from the great state of california how the fuck can you call yourself a democrat you are a fucking republican in sheep's clothing you voted for the war you voted for the patriot act you voted for the tax cuts you live in a big old house in san francisco bought a bigger old house in san francisco made the front page of the paper yes it did yes it did

what is wrong about standing up and saying about challenging the motherfucker head on what is wrong what are you afraid of why can't you say what is right why can't you say what is holy why can't you just stand up and say

fuck you mister president

why not i do i say fuck you mister president fuck you what the fuck are you doing what the fuck do you do all day long the people of new orleans the people of louisiana yeah fuck those guys fuck those creole cocksuckers what the fuck were they thinking fuck you mister president fuck those ragheads in eye rack fuck them and their children who the fuck cares about babies being blown up fuck you mister president fuck those cocksuckers in darfur motherfuckers ain't got no oil why the fuck should we feed them fuck those cocksuckers in eye ran they be next fuck them up the ass with a big old missile baby fuck those cocksuckers in syria gonna drop da motherfucking bomb on those sand niggers fuck those assholes fuck you mister president fuck you and fuck those sorry ass caribou up there in alaska drill those motherfucking holes we want that oil fuck you harry whittington shouldn't live to be that old any way i'd have shot you if dick hadn't got there first fuck you mister cheney 

oh lawdy what hath god wrought

she has brought down the fires of hell upon us she has she has vomited she has pissed all over our self righteous selves she simply says suck this bitch shoves a fat barbed cock right up our ass calls it justice alito let's just call him justice asshole his buddy his buddy his chum his pal sitting in the witness stand he says he says hey it's just a little spying what the fuck is a little spying when the

safety and security

of the country is at stake i mean i mean fuck we gotta get that cocksucker osama we wouldn't be tapping your phone if you weren't guilty we know oh yes we know

fuck you mister president

phuck you mister president bring back jimmy carter hell bring back billy bring back billy carter and his green fucking beer i got a photo in my box somewhere my momma my aunt up in plains georgia they got their picture taken with phat fat billy edge of some peanut field ever seen a peanut field god fucking ugliest plant you might find growing up out of clay and shit fuck you mister president fuck you fuck you fuck you and your war and your war powers and your axis of evil your own little fucking axis of evil you cheney rumsfeld colin powell i hold directly responsible mister wolfowitz i hold you personally responsible cheney rumsfeld bush junior i hold all of you personally responsible

how do you sleep at night

i mean if i tell a lie i can't sleep all night long shit i sweat i suffer i just fucking sleep the old tell tale heart don't you know how do they sleep at night how do they even get it going how are such cold hearted people even able to get a hard on how can such people

fuck

because there has to be joy in a proper fuck and i sense no joy i sense none at all where is the joy but the senate but the senate they say hey what the fuck mister president you make it easy for us we'll just pat this motherfucker on the back we appreciate ol osama jumping into the picture jumping into the picture saying saying saying

how about a truce

before i blow you the fuck off the earth just like old dick cheney did to his own buddy down home hunting quail been hunting much mister vice president shouldn't be drinking and shooting you stupid cocksucker fuck you mister cheney fuck you mister rumsfeld fuck you mister president fuck you

yeah fuck you mister president and all that

Part 1

beauty in the dark
i'll whisper to you sweet girl
let me touch you now

Part 2

i'll expose your soul
to dirty little secrets
nibble nibble yes

Part 3

tomorrow morning
never comes never comes no
when the sheets are wet

Part 4

i'll whisper to you
sweet sugary silences
when the sun rises

hey baby dollicious

dig the romance thing dig the love dig the day dig the flowers dig the funky monkey beneath the covers dig the dig the dig the love lust sprinkles of cupids dust let me go there let me take it there let me slide it there let me slip it there let me let me let me just scream and dance and swing from the trees

roses are red violets are blue tangerine moments bring me back to you i'm dancing don't need no headphones don't need no music baby i got the music i got the steps i got the rhythm i got the life your life already it's in my genes my jeans it's in my body it's in my soul it's in my little finger it's in my lips watch them watch them use them goddamn it's imprinted in my dee en aa you're my fucking marker you got me spinning you got me doing that whirling dervish thing give me a scarf baby let me show you how

i do that dance

hands on my hips hopping across the room monkey loving scarf flying scarves flying shit i can do this thing blindfolded yo baby you know i dig the blindfold you me let's play the louis braille game i got goosebumps you can read baby i need you i knead you i know you gots bumps and curves and a little something something for me you are my faulkner reader it might take me two or three times to get through this book you are my trashy beach novel you are my magazine tucked beneath the mattress you are my ell aa noire james ellroy you are my fucking dashiell hammett i got your maltese falcon right here i will read you with bated breath i will read you with anticipation i will speed read you i will read you with such consternation i will study you oh girl i will study you yes i will dance i will dance let me show you how

i do that dance

spin spin spin hands over my head yeah yeah i do that dance for you i am your fucking peacock watch me spread my tail feathers watch me strut watch me chase all the other turkeys down the path watch me watch me watch me take out your video camera put me all over the internet ridicule me embarrass me i don't care i don't care ain't nobody got the moves that i got for you baby maybe the world will learn something shaka shaka hey goddamn i will dance i will dance let me show you how

i do that dance

roses are red violets are blue baby i'll be that jack russel terrier for you i am a dog for your love i am a fucking lap dog i'm your attack dog i'm your horny dog i'm your slimy dog i'm your perverted dog i am your fucking dog from hell just like my love i'm your dancing dog slap a tutu on my phat ass make it pink i'll jump up on that big old circus ball i will dance i will dance let me show you how

i do that dance

sing me a song lay down a rhythm hum me a tune bang me out a piece oh baby bust out a rhyme i will do the hip shake baby i am james brown i am your sex machine shake your arm then use your form stay on the scene like a sex machine you got to have the feeling just as sure as you're born get it together right on right on goddamn i am your james brown i am your sex machine i will slap on my platform shoes i will slide into my tight tight pants i will don my silk open collared shirt don't you don't you know it will sparkle darlin i will wear my hat i am pimpin your love i am pimpin for your love goddamn catch a ride in my

deuce and quarter

with the wide wide white walls gangsta walls baby i will ride low for you my sweet sweet sugary snack give me a spoon give me a ladle give me a cup give me a bowl give me a bucket i am so fucking greedy i am so fucking hungry i got such a sweet tooth make mine with strawberries and chocolate and whipped cream and a fucking cherry on top goddamn i will dance i will dance let me show you how

i do that dance do that dance with your bowl of sugar smacks i will fall down in convulsions shaking shaking shaking all over doctor doctor i got to dance i got to dance put da lime in da coconut i am kid creole you are my coconut i got the lime right here for you girlfriend

dig

yeah valentine's day and all that

i want to thank you

for letting me

be myself

again

fucking commuter planes i hate fucking commuter planes two little seats on this side two little seats on that side squeezed stuffed packed into two of those little seats with fucking buddha himself i don't like small planes i don't like them at all small plane it goes down i'm telling you you're buried on page bee six of the metro section alongside the sheriff's report me baby i swear me baby when if i go down i want to be

page one baby

only get that with a big plane only get that with the big awesome three hundred sixty one passengers plus crew go down in mojave desert two survivors walking around in a zombie like state

murmuring

the lyrics to muskrat love yeah yeah here i am sharing a seat with some big ass samoan motherfucker with headphones fucking commuter jet not much room for one samoan much less for one samoan and a phat fat cracker

i am everyday people

my man the samoan buddha he wears the big old retro looking headphones wrapped around his buzzed jowl-faced head thin little wire leading down trickling down to some tiny em pee three player his tremendous fingers and thumbs delicately pushing the buttons with skilled precision

i bet those fingers i bet he makes some pussy very happy

i don't know what he's listening to he doesn't speak we don't speak kind of awkward to talk to speak to converse when i'm in such close proximity to someone so big and masculine and yet so feminine when i'm squeezed in so tight i mean i mean i mean it might i mean if we were naked

it just might different

the waitress er stewardess er flight attendant hell she's already provided she's already given she's already made use of that big old bottle of lube to get us into the seat goddamn slide slip slide grab my dick oh my scented at that i like

but hey it was not to be it was not in the cards we each wear our respective clothes me in jeans tee shirt sweater buddha in boarder pants hip hop sweatshirt down vest i don't know what he's listening to me hey i'm digging on

sly and the family stone

dark dark dark riding in the backseat of cousin robbie's nineteen sixty six chevy impala ess ess three ninety six vroom vroom rumble rumble flying down some south georgia road dark dark dark windows down wind blowing tree shadows flying by wispy clouds swirling above a hazy gauze wrapped around the full moon i'm in the back seat i'm thirteen robbie he's seventeen

i idolize robbie

robbie is my hero my fucking hero i'm monkey see monkey do summer nineteen seventy two south georgia cuthbert georgia outskirts thereof middle of fucking nowhere screaming down the road tar and gravel grabbing those bigass tires you can feel the rubber being left behind on the rough roughness

dance to the music all night long we're out for the evening we're out for the night once we get into the car once we hit the road no telling where we might end up cousin robbie he throws a bag to pete his friend peterson cousin robbie he throws a bag to pete says

roll one

my summer of introduction my summer of vice my summer that kicks it all off my own little personal summer of love summer of nineteen seventy two thirteen years old where's my momma i'm riding through the backwoods of south georgia with cousin robbie and his asshole friend pete where's my momma don't know don't know don't fucking know all i know is i feel good i feel lost i feel bad i feel love i feel hatred i feel sick to my stomach

might have been the beer

i'm sitting back head leaning back i can see the big glowing speedometer we're riding along soaring along ninety hundred and five robbie low riding it two hands on the wheel head back pete's leaned over robbie won't let him roll the windows up robbie tells him he will kick his ass if he loses any weed in the wind pete leaning over bag between his legs on the floorboard trying to clean out the seeds stems shit it's fucking nineteen seventy two shitty mexican brown weed goddamn

sly and the family stone

in the eight track i'm digging sly stone and the family pete sits up with a big old joint clenched in his teeth like clint fucking eastwood with his cheroot he looks at robbie for approval robbie just glances over at him pete leans back down lights the bone on the third fourth try

seed pops

as he sits up seed pops fire arcs over his gut onto his cheap hippie indian cotton gauze shirt he yells slaps at his stomach smoke rising up burnt cotton and hair stench blown into the backseat robbie says you fucking idiot pete passes the joint to robbie there is order in joint passing in the car one of my first lessons of the summer joint passing one oh one goes counter clockwise from passenger to driver over driver's right shoulder to back seat across back seat back up to passenger can't go clockwise

it ain't safe

to pass the joint to the driver from the backseat even a stoner has rules of some sort or another even a stoner has rules sly stone sometimes i'm right and i can be wrong my own beliefs are in my song sly stone on the eight track roll another one just like the other one cocksucker mexican brown i don't know if i'm stoned or tired i'm thirteen what the fuck do i know i'm just trying

to be cool

because robbie he's cool earlier in the summer earlier in the summer he hands me a joint he says hey hey hey when i hesitate he says hey hey hey have i ever done anything that would do you wrong little cousin

them's powerful words

that i swallow that i drink that i just fucking take the joint later that summer he tells me the same thing we do some mushrooms later that summer he tells me the same thing he give me something he calls tee aitch see hey little cousin it's the same thing that's in da weed don't you know what the fuck do i know i'm a fucking little cracker

he's my cousin robbie i idolize him

took me three four years to figure out that shit was fucking pee cee pee little pink tabs just put it under your tongue just let it sit there little cuz how the fuck am i supposed to know where's my momma where's my momma it ain't safe to pass a joint to the driver from the backseat robbie

he passes it back to me

we hit colemen little dipshit town little dipshit town can't tell the difference between cuthbert and coleman the only thing i know robbie he tells me that the cool people live in cuthbert the rednecks live in coleman

funny now that i think about it

we hit coleman sly on the eight track windows down street lights bright on the street the main street the only street we hang a right off the square i am no better and neither are you we're all the same whatever we do we hit coleman we hang a right off the square we're cruising

nigger town

pete throws an empty beer can out the window hits a car parked on the shoulder car almost on idle robbie shoves it into neutral revs the engine slams it down into low gear ratchet shifter beneath the palm of his right hand slams it down into low gear during the rev leaves a patch of rubber squeals barks pete throws another beer can out the window this one had beer left you can tell by the

thud

as it hits another car we hear a yell a hey you white cracker motherfucker big ess ess three ninety six spins donuts in the middle of the road dust gravel spraying the other cars i'm thrown around the backseat

pussies wear seatbelts in nineteen seventy two

we're screaming back up the road toward the voice i can see two black teens running off we're catching up to them they're on the road they're running headlights on their back they're running one looks over his shoulder they're running i can see his eyse

they are white wide in the light

they move to the shoulder robbie is driving on the shoulder now dust spraying behind us we're spinning a bit in the clay the hard clay shoulder pete is yelling run the motherfucker over i'm screaming for robbie to stop he can't hear me i'm yelling i'm crying pete is yelling to run the niggers over they dive off into the ditch a swampwater ditch we hear the splash we hear the cussing

robbie slams on the brakes the two black kids are climbing out of the ditch pete shows the long barrel of a pellet gun the two black dudes duck back down robbie squeals off peels off we're back on the square on the main street out of coleman back on the road to cuthbert sly still on the eight track you love me you hate me you know me and then you can't figure out the bag i'm in i'm crying quietly he doesn't see me he doesn't hear me he doesn't care he and pete are laughing it's dark i'm crying i'm scared fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

eighty eighty five ninety five hundred hundred and five i am everyday people they are singing pete and robbie they are singing

there is a long hair that doesn't like the short hair for being such a rich one that will not help the poor one different strokes for different folks and so on and so on and scooby doobie doobie do

fuck fuck fuck the buddha man he sits there with me in the little airplane i don't know what he's listening to me i'm listening to sly stone sly sly sly so very sly sitting in the back seat of robbie's chevy impala es es three ninety six robbie is seventeen i'm thirteen fuck fuck fuck so very sly the buddha man he sits next to me we fly to rah chester we land in the snow

me and the buddha

we land in the dark in the snow the world is so black and white we get off the plane in the middle of the fucking runway on the tarmac down the stairs just like in casablanca

except with snow

rah fucking chester in february snow on the runway in the dark in the snow the world is so black and white i love snow flurries beneath the streetlights so sly so sly goddamn we got to live together i am everyday people

early morning meeting still snowing out my hotel room window out my cab window drive by grungy downtown factories rah fucking chester in the middle of town two white guys standing out on the sidewalk in front of the marine recruiting station standing out in the cold each hunched over with one hand in their pocket the other holding a cigarette hunched over smoking cigarettes fucking jarhead in greens walks up unlocks the door walks in they toss their butts follow him in

i wonder if they already had a job wonder if all they needed was a bit of adventure

me and the buddha nigger town everyday people and all that