oh lawdy do i really think the thoughts i do do others think the thoughts i do do they even think similar thoughts semi similar thoughts do they do they

oh my

my man pete we're sitting up out on the deck looking out over the water the current so strong nearly swept us away so strong drinking strong coffee so strong make your dick stand tall

my man pete he looks over he says you know even a man who says his prayers by night can become a werewolf when the moon is full and bright

later

down at the beach dusk down at ocean beach me cuda the ball the breakers they exit the water gods of the sea dusk ocean beach me cuda the ball the breakers luminescent in sun moon yin yang light fog dusk ocean beach me cuda the surfers clad in four millimeter four three wet suits looming from within the greyness boards underarm

gods

they shake the water from their hair their lips move but no sound reaches me they must be

gods

i am surrounded by deity every day every moment oozes about touching blessing oozing but not sliming shan't be taking the lord's name in vain though the streets may be paved with fear but i fear not when she wraps herself around me sliding through that water she slides yes she does she is god so salty so sweet she throws me about like the lump of clay i know and admit to being whistle softly into my lips so that i may exist

whistle me a tune sweet god of grace

i am surrounded by deity every moment every day today ain't summer grand walking downtown between the tall buildings high noon all the young thangs out on their lunch break in the green next to the golden gateway commons four chickens prance about orange and yellow and red being hens they pranced they did not strut like the rooster

zeus himself

justin herman plaza aflame in the noon day sun all the young thangs sitting on the wall on the steps around the fountain tank tops dipping cleavage popping longlonglonglegs outstretched praying begging apollo to take them then and there i pray beg for apollo to touch me anoint me appoint me his surrogate i will take them all i will pleasure them all i have

honeydew

for them all

riding the train back around the embarcadero the effe line back towards aquatic park all the young thangs touristas long dutch legs sweet spanish smiles ah brazilian breasts hawaiian hootchie kootchie koo the cool breeze slipping through the cracked windows keeping me sane do i really think the thoughts i do think do others is this not baked into the genes has this not been cooking in the dee en aa for the last million years

or so

i mean check out raquel welch in one million bee cee she be fine they all wanted her

am i the only one who has to imagine oh my oh my i just wonder i just bet i just dream that this is the way it should be this is the way that it must be oh girl just lift a leg sugar this will be the best moment of my life am i the only one who thinks the way i do don't we all think this way aren't we all just a bunch of crazy

fuck monkeys

even a man who says his prayers by night can become a werewolf when the moon is full and bright my man pete he says spoken by maria ospenkaya the great hungarian actress spoken by maria in the original werewolf movie you know the one with lon chaney my grandmother knew her used to hang out at the hungarian hall in elle aa you know back when they used to have those halls the irish hall the italian hall the greek hall

the fucking hungarian hall we're all a

bunch of burning churning urn of fuck monkeys funk monkey might as well put me in a little red fez slide on that little red vest and let the greasy organ grinder go to town pop goes the fucking weasel we're all just a bunch of fuck monkeys i know that i can't be that different how can these thoughts be perverted when everyone everybody i love you you love me i'm oh kay you're oh kay ain't nothing wrong with a little

monkey lovin'

going on now ain't nothing wrong with a little

monkey lovin'

how can these thoughts be perverted when everyone thinks them i know they do i just know they do don't you it's tearing through your bones i'm just a crazy mixed up kid but you're fucking insane thinking those thoughts that you do you do think those thoughts that i do don't you how can these thoughts be so perverted i mean

ain't that the way god meant the banana to be used and appreciated

ain't that a banana in its natural state ain't it so oh kay maybe it don't usually come with olive oil it's all so so natural n'est-ce pas i am the buddha when i sit in my chair i am the buddha as i eat from my bag of ripe cherries one at a time hold onto the stem lower her redness to my lips suck off the fruit spit out the pit and again and again until the bag is empty that never empties and again suck off the fruit spit out the pit and again

say ooh la la come on

again

ain't that the way i mean don't we all have this same internal drum it does beat it does beat with such a funky rhythm say ooh la la i mean i may go this way you may go that way and she yeah she well she may go all around inside out turn it out without a doubt shout it out baby turn it out oh my i mean ain't that

the way

old hank he declared love is a dog from hell i declare yeah but i stand on the mountain blow my trumpet until the walls of jericho come falling down i declare that cherries honey dew peaches juicy juicy peaches they are a gift from heaven

werewolves gods monkey lovin' gift from heaven and all that

 

let's not taint this tale with such amorous language as to make you swoon as to make you feel all special in that certain pair of panties especially purchased from fredericks mail order click and pay delivered to your house in a plain brown package complete with its own little appropriately dirty message that you just felt at the time that you just knew at the time would be so cute to read upon package receipt girlish giggle and all let's not taint this tale with any such romantic notions of white knights of johnny depp playing don juan of being swept from your feet falling to buckled knees of the oh this drink just goes straight to my head makes me all dizzy no let's not taint this tale with any such drugstore novel of suburban surrender to the moment to the moment of temporary lustful insanity

no not tonight let's ask the question let's beg the question let's seek the truth

let me tilt my cock at the windmill

will i ever know will i ever discover will i ever uncover will i ever stretch the canvas ah pancho is love art is art love let me paint my story let me draw tales of midnight soft broad brush quick soft strokes circling circling circadian spirals around about such a lovely scar of birth this innie of femininity not too taught as to be jockish not too shallow as to invoke disinterest just deep enough to catch the salty drops of desire that cascade from above flow from the erotic tips of mount saint ta ta yes

i will be crude i will be vulgar i will be fucking boorish henry miller go fuck yourself i will

pour words buckets of words class five rapids

words pouring down the pubic mound like the colorado constant whirlpools of truth surrounding the cunt carelessly cave art mastodons spears javelins tossed thrown wildly by lord krishna himself the elk the wolf the bull his cock dragging the edges of the taint blues reds oranges swirling amidst the bukowski quotes translated into french arabic hindi except where only the english will work

for me

because i am too fucking lazy to look up the polynesian for

cunt

can't spare the time can't let go of the canvas dip my brush swipe my brush wave my brush across the palette mix the colors swirl the colors lift the leg write my will i do hereby leave all my earthly treasures dearly beloved marry me death sugary slut inside the thigh high and inside on the thigh odes to caddie twisting up and round and round and round the entire left callipygian cleft until faulkner and his devils can no more haunt my dreams

open a bottle of musky bourbon throw away the cork

let it burn let it burn let the raspy throat read aloud

translations so poorly resolved

between the shoulders ah the curve of the scapulae sitting softly beneath the satin skin canvas basquiat dances prances enchanted worthy constituents of early dutch settlements ah the good they do die young but that's oh kay that's all right love of money love of riches love of fame touching fame keeps us aflame goddamn set this house afire

cunt juices and saliva mix with the darker colors anal patina don't you know won't you please bullseye yellow black blue read entering your heart from behind oh yes did you not know knot know i will take your heart from behind baby but you'll not suffer silent still stiletto slides oh it does slide oh it does so slide name rank serial number bitten into the back of your neck in imprinted embossed morse code whores from the four corners arriving at your doorstep their only desire their only wish to make charcoal rubbings to hang proudly in their own private museums

the letters elle oh vee ee em ee written beneath the curve of the left breast the letters dee ee esse pee eye esse ee em ee written beneath the curve of the right the masks of greek tragedy biting nibbling swallowing the nipples a map of candyland drawn carefully between drawn in black and red with a bic fine line autographed by milton bradley and all the parker brothers gang bang game of chance cast the die

it wouldn't be so if it weren't so true

slow painful tattoo hopi characters complex contradictory caught one pixel pinch one needle nick dipped from inkwell to skin one little prick at a time across the throat ear to ear so beautiful in form so elegant in appearance its meaning so crude comment dit-on face fuck me here face fuck me now in ancient hopi i shall dance to the moon le mons venus a simple rose with two thorns blooming on one cheek fire breathing dragon fly-by scorching flying by on the other my complete works my mortality sprayed carved etched on the back of your throat meaty brush pumping whilst handfuls of wildness gripped pulled towards away towards away a rope swing of joy flying through the air

across the chasm

collapsing

into prisms of light from deep within the eyes

goddamn

tainting the tale and all that

this is not a love song

where can i get me some of them orange overhauls they look so substance over style this is not a love song they went and convicted that old bald headed bubba down in mississippi gotta love a name like edgar ray tell me that ain't southern tell me that ain't a white trash name as ol' david allen coe says if that ain't country i'll kiss your ass they got him all chained up trussed up down there in mississippi that's

em eye ess ess eye ess ess eye pee pee eye

eighty year old motherfucker he went out and killed himself some people way back when way back when they say he killed himself some civil rights workers hell they had no business down in mississippi what were they doing down in mississippi

down here stirring up trouble with the niggers

my cousin he once said after i had moved away to california after i had gone off to college and then moved away to california with my jewish new york princess and her wild jewrasta locks after i had pierced and tattooed myself after i had my first kid circumcised by a fucking moyle after yeah after i had come back to georgia

back to georgia some loggins and messina song from the seventies i do believe and indeed i do i do believe i believe that some artists are best off if they die early in a plane crash a la buddy holly or better through some sort of legendary drug overdose like my man jimi otherwise they grow old and mellow end up like kenny loggins or eric clapton or sting

hey eric i'll spring for the first dose either get back on the aitch or just fucking quit will you if i have to hear one more oh isn't it so sweet the way he plays layla on the acoustic guitar let me tell you fuck that nonsense i mean what would lou reed be without rock and roll animal what would heroin sound like without the heroin i have no desire i have no reason i have no urge to return to georgia i'll travel down there and take their money i'll go on business trips

i'll walk down their sidewalks and smoke my california herb

i'll piss in their toilets after i had come back to georgia it ani't like my family was coming to california shit might as well have been europe or russia shit phatmike why you want to go and move way out there what they got in kalifornia that we ain't got here once after i had come back to georgia my cousin he said once when i was home for a visit driving down you esse highway twenty-seven driving down from cuthbert to blakely driving with my cousin he said yeah you just don't remember the way our niggers is down here hell they ain't the same as those you got out there

our niggers they need lookin' after

anybody tell you things are different anybody tell you things have changed anybody tell you that the world down there is all about love and renewal wll let me tell you something let me tell you

this is not a love song

the dude in mississippi they carted him off on a stretcher the fucker he up and did the heart attack and vine they say he killed those boys people down there still think of them as interlopers northern jewboys come down to stir up trouble things were just fine and dandy before they came waltzing their pansy ass selves down our way but they say old edgar ray up and killed them boys they told old edgar ray he had to go to jail for sixty years i imagine some big brother buttfucking old edgar ray and his hundred year old self sliding twelve inches of meat into that wrinkled redneck ass yeah old edgar ray he be a preacher man i mean a preacher man he couldn't do such things to them boys he is a god-fearing man a man of the cloth yes he is

some big buck banging away he saying hey edgar ray this ain't a love song baby this one is for my uncle this one is for my cousin this one is for my brother this one is for my momma this one is for my daddy who knows how many good people you fucked up in your lifetime

a man of the cloth

big black buck banging away saying now it's time i fucked you up a little

this one is for james earl chaney this one is for andrew goodman this one is for michael schwerner this one is for their families

shit

man on the radio just the other day a so-called evangelist saying it was impossible to be liberal and christian said that christ himself the jay man in his preachings supported the tenets of the republican platform said jesus justified war as long as it was

against evil

reading today in the new york times yeah yeah you don't have to believe the new york times written by jews and liberals and nigger lovers anyway reading today in the new york times they're putting old edgar ray in jail the local town folks down in neshoba county they said they were glad to get it over with to be done with it down there they said it's all in the past they ain't like that any more

they must be smoking some of that good federally grown marijuana uncle sam's mary jane the only legal pot growing farm in the whole you knighted states of amerika i need to get me some of that must be pretty damn good shit i mean i mean they ain't like that any more my ass the you esse senate they take it upon themselves they decide hey guess it's about time guess it's about space guess it's about people in the strangest place the you esse senate they decide that it's about time to apologize for all them lynchings apologizing for not passing legislation way back way back in the thirties then again in the forties then again in the fucking fifties

that's a whole lotta lynching going on

so this esteemed body they up and pass some apology legislation funny thing is strange thing is down there where say they ain't like that any more funny thing is old trent lott old thad cochran the esteemed senators from the great state of

em eye ess ess eye ess ess eye pee pee eye

these fine upstanding gentlemen they decided it wasn't important they didn't vote for the apology said it wasn't necessary

it ain't no wonder

the klan and the sheriff yeah the fucking sheriff way back in nineteen and sixty-four they up and killed three civil rights workers they didn't really call them civil rights workers when they killed them killed them dead they called them two interfering jewboys and a goddamn nigger way back in nineteen and sixty-four i was five years old my momma my daddy they never told me about this i was an avid reader when i was five six seven read the newspaper read books read everything i could get my hands on for some reason i never heard about the slaughter of innocents

i didn't know what civil rights was what the fuck did i know i was just a kid

hell lester maddox was passing out ax handles when i was a kid what the fuck did i know my uncle ben hell he came back from atlanta once he had one of them ax handles they all laughed about it i didn't know what civil rights was what the fuck did i know i was just a kid

niggers were just people who cleaned the house and cut the grass

when i started school we didn't have any blacks going to my school in halifax elementary school then one day in the second grade in the second grade i remember this girl came to class the principal brought this girl to the classroom this girl she was black light-skinned black long black braided hair half way down her back the teacher missus wooding she had her stand in the front of the classroom she introduced her she said class this is eileen she'll be joining us my buddy i guess he was my buddy we hung out together i have no fucking idea where he is now probably retired you esse army living on a fucking pension paid for by you and me and a lot of black folks my buddy mike woods he said why don't she go to her own school missus wooding sent mike woods to the principal's office

i wasn't mean to eileen but then again i didn't go up to her and say hey girlfriend welcome to hell either looking back i should have walked up to her i was kind of a class leader usually one of the kids who got picked first or second for ballgames i always scored the highest on my tests i always led the mischievous scandals that second graders can think up i once stopped mike woods from shooting a stray dog with his pellet rifle i'm sorry eileen i should have walked up to you there in the front of the room i should have walked up given you a big hug said welcome you are the bravest person i know

eileen was one of the bravest people i know and i don't i didn't even know her i didn't even try to know her

the new york times they talked to those people living now in neshoba county mississippi they said it ain't like that any more down here glad to have this over with best we send old edgar ray off to jail well let me tell you well let me just say this cracker he calls i call

bullshit

on that news yeah yeah the klan may not be riding up and down the countryside wearing their white sheets although i bet you some still do on occasion yeah the klan may not be lynching niggers these days although i bet you some still do what about the rednecks dragging that poor man behind their truck down in texas jesus fucking christ let me tell you let me tell you

don't you believe those motherfuckers take a peek inside one of those mississippi jails go to georgia go to reedsville state prison go to angola in louisiana tell me who is inside those jail cells it ain't the kind white folk being interviewed by the new york times

then when they let them out of jail if they let them out of jail when they let them out of jail they say oh by the way boy you ain't allowed to vote no more there's a whole segment of the population being disenfranchised down there a whole generation of black people without a goddamn way to change anything the only tool that they had the only truly peaceful weapon that they had

taken away

old jeb bush he knows what he's doing down there he knows the good old boys are still fuming about things not really going their way all them niggers taking away jobs from good upstanding white people all them niggers going to our schools all them niggers smoking crack hell all they do is make more babies and kill each other anyways so they went out and found a way to really fuck the niggers without all those riots and hangings and lynchings hell we'll just round 'em up when we need to convict 'em send 'em off to jail and they'll never vote again

yeah old edgar ray he's useless he's a symbol he's a sacrifice to the winds of change the times they are a'changin' down there in good old mississippi down in the new south way down there in the new south

i'm sorry eileen you were so brave

yeah this is not a love song stirring up trouble and all that

 

Cards

i won fifty smackeroos the other night sitting round the table sitting around the table of friendship that we have formed don't even know how long don't even know how we managed to transition from jockish idiot thirty-somethings running amok on the basketball court smashing knees ankles skulls and egos how we managed to transition from such jockish fiber to such dope smoking vice-ridden worshipers of the lady luck don't know how we did it but it seems to suit us just fine just fine thank you very much for the

cool fifty

you bunch of schmucks the only thing better the only thing better than spending a friday night taking your money the only thing better than taking your money would perhaps be to have some fine young innocent beneath the table working her tongue and throat magic on my lap whilst i took your money yes yes i know we are a fine upstanding bunch who would never consider such hedonism our vices have their limits i know i know we would never consider such heathen activities i mean after all

we're gentlemen

it says so right on our credo our logo our bill of rights i'm just saying that hey come on it would be better would it not woodie not

of course as it seems the norm these days as it seems the proper course of action these days upon initiation of the sacred rites upon the toking of the sacred black sticky herb brought to us from unknown lands from unknown origins probably concocted deep in the fields of afghanistan where two lowly sheep herders transporting said magic substance across the mountains by yak where these two lowly individuals discuss among themselves the proper way to pay back the american largesse to show their gratitude for the introduction of democracy i believe the proper terms is

spreading freedom

to profess their undying thanks i envision them standing atop the large burlap sacks the transport container of choice of necessity standing atop the burlap bags containing the sacrament and let loose with twin streams of steaming yak yogurt yellowed urine it's that special enhancement that does the trick that mystical thank you for spending

two hundred billion dollars

on our sorry excuse for a country oh wait a minute that's right we are not the recipients of such charitable giving oh that's right that money went to that country over the mountains across the desert that's right we got jack shit that's why my cousins up north are once again farming

poppies

but hey i can still have my sister gang raped if she pisses me off

well shit i'll smoke their hash anyway what the fuck because it is the norm these days for me to indulge perhaps a little bit too heavily at the start this shit does indeed make me stupid why do you think they call it dope proper calculations of the odds the elegant mathematical formulae of probability and statistics floats out my head with each exhale i find myself quite in the hole a deep hole at that and it ain't the kind of hole that i like exploring my dick is as stoned as my brain i bet heavily on two pair when i know i can't even beat what's showing i forget if i'm going high or low i drop a quick sixty seventy

goddamn

those lowly shepherds i wonder what kind of hole they find themselves in two hundred billion dollars can buy quite the hole to bury oneself in quite a nice hole in monte carlo or even the fucking moon two hundred billion i wish i wish i wish upon a star two hundred billion dollars what oh what could i do with such a sum of money when i was in the fifth grade when i was in the fifth grade way back in nineteen and sixty-nine the mets had whupped the braves in the playoffs then they were whupping up on the orioles in the series my fifth grade teacher mister warner he was from new york he had come south with a teacher's draft deferment didn't want to go to vietnam he told us as much mister warner he didn't last very long down in the southland that little redneck town of eight hundred souls that would have as soon seen us drop the aa bomb on them gooks as look at'em

mister warner he was my homeroom teacher he was also the fifth grade math teacher he wanted us to see how big a number one million really was he said who knows how big a million is i was the class mathematician i raised my hand i said a thousand thousands he said yes but do you know what a million of something looks like he pointed out the window at the woods that bordered the school property are there a million trees out there are there a million pine needles on those trees are there a million blades of grass out there he said go out and let's collect

bottle caps

bring me in a million bottle caps we were in the fifth grade we thought this a marvelous idea we said yeah that's cool we scavenged the world or at least our little town i had my source me and my buddy craddock we had our source his uncle's little corner store we hit this store every afternoon after school got all the bottle caps from the coke machine we scavenged the countryside we brought in boxes of bottle caps after about a month we had stacked in the back of the class many many boxes all each and every one of them all filled with bottle caps i don't think we had over

ten thousand

i mean how many cokes could a town of eight hundred people possibly drink in a month hell throw in all the beers that those rednecks could drink and we still weren't close the point is the point that mister warner was trying to make the point is

a million is a lot

a million of something is a lot pretty tough to visualize a million of something

i reckon a billion is a lot more two three hundred billion little bit bigger hell it ain't even within the realm of comprehension motherfuckers are spending two three hundred billion dollars to send our boys and girls over to eye rack jesus fucking christ that's a big number that's a lot of money i wonder i wonder i wonder who did they hire to count all that money how many people does it take to count out all that money i mean there were about a hundred fifty kids in my fifth grade granted we didn't do the bottle cap collecting full time we did not make a career out of said bottle cap collecting but but but we made up for it with

enthusiasm

how many people does it take to count out two three hundred billion dollars how many briefcases does it take to hold that many dollars i guess it all depends on if we're counting dollar bills or tens or twenties i mean i'm sure that halliburton is probably asking for theirs in unmarked twenties that's the way most crooks ask for their money ain't it

our game though our game we limit the stakes no big money not such big money as all that one of us schmucks he had a son over there in eye rack thirty years old up and joins the army what the fuck is that all about up and joins the army and hops a plane over to eye rack no worry no worry he's a communication specialist fuck that i don't think them so called insurgents my websters defines insurgent as a person who rises in revolt against an

established government

i guess maybe the key word is established but hey i guess i'm just being picky i don't think those insurgents rebels terrorists criminals i don't think they care if the dude is carrying a radio or not bullets don't discriminate he made it home though world music schmuck he was smiling he was happy

his boy made it home

and we're happy for him we're happy for him i hope all these kids make it home shit i wish all these boys girls on both sides would just put down their guns their eye ee dee's their night vision goggles their weapons of only slightly less than massive destruction i just wish they'd all say okay game over let's go over to the judges to see what they have to say oh yes oh yes the esteemed judge from the you esse of aa he seems to be out of step with the others he's saying that the guys wearing the white hats won once again

clear victory

tell that to the seventeen hundred you esse dead the forty thousand officially dead eye rackies the thousands maimed the thousands without homes tell that to those who have had freedom spread all over their bodies like chocolate frosting being used in a kinky gang bang

clear victory i wonder i really wonder who is doing the counting

what the fuck i won my fifty and all that

Phat Sunday

were you there when they crucified my lord sometimes i just blink sometimes i just shut my eyes for that oh so brief sprite of time only to open them to one of those rip van winkle moments time flying time spinning time wrinkling here i am seems just

a week ago

ceiling fan in the taqueria spinning slow humphrey bogart peter lorre world is so black and white mid afternoon fucking hot outside here in san carlos such a quaint little town down here on the peninsula i'm on a side street sunday afternoon there's a brown skinned family over there sitting at the window in the front i probably

should stop smoking

hash in the mornings i think i'm slowly adopting a rubber fetish the ceiling fan it spins oh so slowly i can read the brand name of the manufacturer on the blade the glimpse can you glimpse sound the glimpse of music blaring out from a passing car i caught like three beats but unmistakable beats three beats from freebird the heat oh the heat it simmers

the curves of a woman making me seriously regret that i never learned to speak spanish man i should have learned to

speak spanish

i should at least be able to mimic spanish facial expressions how do i say comment dit-on lawdy mammacita i want i need i so desire to dance with you beneath the ceiling fan hands extended out from our sides but not touching hips swaying together but not touching lips a half inch apart but not touching feeling your soft pant the aura of your nipples just barely touching mine i should have learned to

speak spanish

sometimes it just causes me to tremble were you there so i just order a couple of tacos do i want the plate baby you coo at me that way one more time in your lovely broken english i will buy the whole damn store yes i'll take the plate rice and beans yes yes horchata yes i do love the sweet sweet drink shall we share two straws my sweetness yes make it a large i order a couple of tacos damn i should have learned to

speak spanish

i think that i'm slowly adopting a new fetish

i mean don't you know when i swim when we swim when me and my boys when we swim swimming in the morning preferred sun coming up hitting the cool cool water cleansing almost baptismal usually very calm flat the goddess just waking up swam a couple of times this week in the afternoon though the winds come whipping by dipping down to playfully slap at the water the goddess feeling a bit friskier chop chop little breakers flitting across the water but when we swim i mean me i mean me and my boys my posse we don't really have too many preparations we put on our speedos it ain't pretty yeah i know but it's comfortable function over form we put on our thermal caps i put on some goggles we put on some goggles all of us except pete hell pete he don't even wear goggles he think he so tough i think he is part amphibian got that transparent eyelid thing going on then we go swim we just walk down the beach take a slow sharp breath when the chill hits our nuts shocks our goobers and

then we swim

nothing to it we swim we puff la it's the same very much the same we take what she is willing to give us sometimes it just makes me tremble were you there when they crucified my lord we give thanks and respect in return simple barter i think i would give thanks anyway there is much much more were you there when they nailed him to the cross were you there

then we swim

but we now find we find ourselves in the midst of triathlete season don't you know there's the alcatraz thing everyone loves the alcatraz thing all the hard bodies start training it's alcatraz triathlon season they gather down at the cove up on the concrete bleachers there's gaggles of them in the morning

slithering into their tight rubber suits

i mean i mean yeah yeah i'm sure that they are much better athletes than me they're standing up there pecs pumping jumping six-pack twelve-pack abs these are just the women they can swim faster run faster jump higher fucking pee effe flyers baby yeah yeah i get all that but

they're still pussies

they get in my way out in the water they swim in packs like fucking sardines one of them turns left they all turn left one turns right they all turn right sometimes they all swim out to the opening form this circle hold hands yeah they hold hands and chant slogans you know like the little engine that could kind of slogans like the kind of slogans you find on posters in the employee lunch room probably some dolphin metaphor even get themselves get them hard bodied selves all pumped up psyched up

what the fuck is that all about

the ceiling fan in the taqueria it just spins oh so slow oh so slow sometimes it causes me to tremble were you there when they nailed him to the cross spin oh so slowly no need to go any faster never going to beat the heat just got to learn to move like the heat

the glimpse of music blaring out from a passing car

the heat

the curves of a woman making me seriously regret that i never learned to speak spanish this rubber fetish though i walk down the sidewalk the one that curves along the water along the cove connecting van ness to jefferson there they are up on those concrete bleachers there she is in some wild yogi-esque position legs spread far apart to the side knees bent at an almost perfect ninety degree angle in a deep squat the rubber triathlon suit half up she's doing little hops grunting with each hop pulling the rubber the squeaking rubber up and over her body the body that transforms as it is swallowed by the suit like a mouse being swallowed by a snake

i just want to take my blade and cut me a hole

grunting jumping that rubber suit tightening up that already firm triathletic ass

goddamn goddamn and she ain't the only one i already told you that they travel in gaggles and for that later in the morning after my own personal salvation has been administered to after i've washed away my own sins and sister there are many takes lots of water to wash these sins away takes a whole bay full of water to wash these sins away later that morning while in church while attending church of the roof of the southend rowing club while attending church and passing along the sacred incense the sacrament of the herb especially nice especially appropriate

sticky sticky

black hashish from the middle east oh my oh my lions and tigers baby all the way from cleopatra town if old pontius pilate had simply puffed la with the jay man i think we might have had some other type of world

no crusades past or present

we give thanks in church i declare my everlasting belief in fetish pay homage to the gods for the gift of rubber clad women sip strong espresso singing in tongue dance in wild loopy circles shaking our hands above our heads until we collapse into the pews were you there were you there

when they crucified my lord when they nailed him to the cross when they laid him in his tomb

were you there when the stone was rolled away

oh baby i was there i was there i am there now and will forever be there

ceiling fan spinning couple of good tacos rice and beans lawdy lawdy rubber fetish and all that

 

The Graduate

hey pops wish you coulda been there last night your grandson our only oldest son handsome up on stage receiving his diploma you woulda been proud wish you and mom could have seen your grandson me and stella we shed a tear one and only youngest son standing on his seat giving him the woo woo one and only daughter smiling proudly she knows how hard it is she's in the same school hey pops wish you coulda been there last night your grandson he graduated with honors four point four hardest hellacious high school in san francisco goddamn i'm proud you and mom wish you coulda been there wish you coulda seen it

hell i just wish you were still around

tears of sadness tears of joy and all that

Fuck This Shit

you know i don't really have a fucking opinion on this so-called medical marijuana issue actually i'm downright ambivalent about this cure me mary jane thing i know i know it's a valid issue it does relieve suffering and yeah yeah that's a good thing don't deny it won't deny it what can i say i guess i reckon that i'm just some selfish cocksucker as they say as my man wong says on deadwood

san francisco cocksucker

just selfish i guess that makes me a fool i don't know just seems so stupid so transparent if the powers to be if the one and only the great white father in washington really gave a shit about medical marijuana they wouldn't have drawn it out so long i mean come on it's a distraction these guys aren't stupid up there in washington dee cee they got this thing figured out they're humming an old familiar tune something like let's take some sacred liberal issue and let's apply a cancer to it let's infect it and watch this cancer grow let it die a slow slow death these idiot liberals and they do think of us as idiots don't kid yourself there they think we're idiots and we always rise up and take offense to whatever little piece of fishbait idiotbait they dangle in front of us we belly up to the bar we step up to this slap they are thinking these idiot liberals will all take their eyes off the big issue the one where we're stealing their money not just some of their money but all of their motherfucking money even the crumpled up one dollar bills that they may have been keeping under the mattress these idiot liberals they will all run over and start railing about medical marijuana and we'll play with them like a fucking housecat does with a wounded mouse meanwhile

we'll steal their money

take every goddamn penny that's all this iraqi thing is that's all they care about these guys they aren't dumb why fuck around with petty theft it's the brazen fucking guys the ones with the big hairy cajones they're the ones who have the balls to step up and take everyfuckingthing you got walk away smiling that's the thing the iraqi thing is one big money laundering exercise let the money flow from these poor suckers milk them and their lousy fucking offspring and their offspring's offspring ad infinitum until until our own offspring are back to the seats of royalty that we they so much deserve

spreading liberty right spread my fucking asscheeks is more like it because baby here it comes i mean come on you need some weed ain't like it's going away with one fell swoop from uncle sam my lovely goddess would not be so cruel you need a joint i think we can work that out i think any sixteen year old high school kid can find you a joint or two if you need one hell give me a call if you find yourself in dire straits one eight hundred smoke this yeah yeah it's good don't worry about that yeah any high school kid can find you some decent green

even in florida

i think i think i think

that they'll keep coming up with these fucking little issues and let's face it they are little issues the terry schiavo thing i mean come on the brilliance of that move still resonates i betcha ol' jeb he just picked up the phone one day and said hey bro' i got another one that'll just throw the whole lot of 'em into a big hissie fit the gay marriage thing the steroid thing the stem cell thing dear people

if we're broke and dead

none of that shit matters they want to take our money and kill our children wrap themselves in the flag and give us the finger shove a big stick up our ass and the funny thing is the funny thing is the ones getting the biggest stick up their ass are those poor stupid fuckers in the red states those fat fucks already working marginal jobs barely making it paycheck to paycheck they're the ones who will get totally fucked when uncle dubya yanks away their social security and

their kids won't be able to take care of them because

they

will

be

dead

dead as a fucking doorknob

with their head stuck on a fucking spit in the middle of the fucking desert for crying out loud people for crying out loud

for fucking crying out loud

 

 

 

my cousin's kid he just got shipped over to iraq yeah he joined on his own volition he's not the sharpest tack in the box the kid he's not clicking on all cylinders he's a sweet kid living in south georgia he's already been to bosnia they the fucking recruiting nazis might as well be san francisco in eighteen forty-nine shanghai baby they grabbed his ass signed him up chased him down in some shopping mall parking lot convinced him that god has ordained god has said that slow moving white boys in south georgia should sign up and then re-up we'll take care of you boy don't you worry none boy we'll teach you a skill you'll come out a man jesus fucking christ he's just a kid he's a sweet kid don't know what the fuck he's doing going over there he didn't have any problems with those people over there i don't seem to recall any iraqi infiltrators saddamites stalking treasures looking for white virgins to take back home

he's a sweet kid what the fuck

what good will come from him getting shot what possible good does his mom want to get that phone call in the middle of the night that official telegram saying hey sorry but

he died a hero

fuck that shit fuck that shit fuck that shit

let me tell you the only heroes in my book are the ones who will stand up and say

no more no fucking more

fuck you george dubya bush fuck you fuck laura fuck your old man fuck your mother fuck you dick cheney fuck you donald rumsfeld fuck you condi rice you of all people should fucking know and yeah while i'm at it fuck you ronnie reagan who helped spawn all these ugly creatures yeah fuck you ronnie reagan fuck you in the goddamn grave i hope some maggot is fucking your goddamn eye socket

yeah fuck you and all that

 

The Truth Will Set You Free

yeah they thought i was blunted when i wrote this because i was far far from reality

what the fuck do they know let's talk about the truth let's talk about the truth the whole truth nothing but the truth so help me almighty and passionate goddess of the earth wind fire water i am on a quest have always been on a quest this one is a quest for truth when there are questions there must be truth when there are questions there must be a quest where is the truth does it burn does it simmer

little black eddie
sat on his dump pile
fingering nuclear rubble
maybe he'll fry
maybe he'll die
maybe he'll simmer and bubble

if it doesn't burn does it fester when does it burn when does

love fester

baby love is always festering love is always burning just burning just burning does it ever burn me up you betcha burn me up burn me burn me burn me up backatcha back at you sometimes sister sometimes i just

sizzle sister sizzle

stella got a vespa present from her phat hubbie stella got a vespa that ain't a vespa it's a bajaj chetak the vespa of india it's pale yellow she likes the wind blowing her wild jewrasta locks the wind blowing in her face even sleeps next to the open window she's such scooter trash

lo must eye kneel before the trinity must eye this is no silly sophie's choice n'est-ce pas the trinity runs through my veins permeates my peter binds with my soul symbiotic parasite take my blood lay me in the cool porcelain of that claw-foot tub come on baby give me a little pillow i won't let it get wet open the window let the breeze blow cross my nipples my hairless chest goose bumps sprout like the mushrooms post late afternoon august rain in a south georgia cowfield pop pop pop bubble wrap of love lay me in the cool porcelain arms on the edges veins exposed to the skylight the sunlight

i could only kill myself in the daylight

but first let's make a deal monte make me a deal me and stella we already got a deal already agreed signed in blood somewhere between the age of eighty five and ninety we'll lie on the bed we'll smoke a couple of cigarettes we'll watch breakfast at tiffany's we'll sip a little hemlock hold hands happily i ride on the back of that scooter stella she drives drove to the beach today zoom zoom zoom down balboa up over down the hills down to the beach waves crackin waves rollin waves just shake me up just melt me chilly they may be melt me

sizzle sister sizzle

yeah go ahead take away my bay dive down deep take the chain in your teeth pull the plug let it all drain away suck suck slurp schlurp blub blub gone muddy hole big old hole forty four slug through my head big old hole take away my bay i don't care that's door number one knumber one come one come all cum on carol merril is that all you got

show me your tits too

show me your lovely lovelies cuz i don't need what's behind door number two either snuff out da blunt take my stash sweep out my rolling floor one last toke ahhh take it away breathe out let me see that yoga breath in the damp coolness of love exhale window open drifts on out with the ocean breeze carries it up the hill carries it up the hill bye bye when you ciphin this you be suckin knowledge suckin knowledge das aiight

love festers

behind door number three da love it just festers it grows like a cancer can't cut it out spreads it's fingers up and through my fucking eyeballs like some alien wes craven cunt creature crawling up and through make me love like there ain't no tomorrow give me what's behind door number three

make me

fucking make me sing karaoke sing a song baby make it funky make it so funky that i have that i have to shake all over stand in the middle muni platform earbuds plugged tight em pee three boom boom hands over my head boom boom people popping hopping around me boom boom sliding slithering slipping this that this that way wander hipshake baby dick leading ass following

free your mind your ass will follow don't you know

don't you

like to hop into the front car very front car wait all day for the front car hell i waited all my life for the front car then she pulled up big dipper santa cruz boardwalk rickety rollercoaster rocking looking down monterey bay surfer dudes so cool grinding up the hill hands up do the hand jive baby nothing to grab hold this is sugar fucking freefall

i said i'm looking for jesus he said take the escalator right up

fucking freefall screaming psychotic shit speak in tongue pass me the rattlesnake right up front give me the front pew come on jesus pass me the rattlesnake my style is always a reptile in this land of abraham sugar fucking freefall talk in tongue on my knees my tongue talking traveling along your thigh lemme lemme part the waters part the lovely waters call me kit carson just got to just need to got a jones to explore i never never want to get off this rollercoaster yeah sure got tossed a couple of times

just got to get back on

tha's all tie a board to my ass for balance don't you know trinity is still my name is nothing without this ride if the love don't fester if the love don't fester if the love don't fester how do it drive me so fucking crazy so fucking mad so fucking fucking

riding on the back she gets a little peeved when i cop a feel it ain't safe baby i'm doing the hipshake ain't nothing safe anyway hide the women and children phatman in the bathtub doing the hipshake ain't nothing safe come on baby don't you love me too oh baby don't trim that thing leave it wild leave it wild can't be tamed can't be leashed later in the day drinking my coffee sipping my double depth charge get me going girl get thumb forefinger to tongue there it is curly curly oh yeah baby hours later you linger you linger is there any wonder is there any doubt is there is there

just got to make it something with some funk pee funk george clinton fugees lauryn wyclef pras bluntin on reality shake me make me maul my inner funky bone

rick james bitch

don't know how long the roller coaster goes it just goes and goes and goes throw me off sometimes but every time

just got to get back on

don't know how long the roller coaster goes round and round up and down loop dee loop twist and turn the dude at the controls went out for a smoke break don't know when he's coming back twenty years forty years two bit four bits six bits a dollar stella she says she tells me lectures me says you want to go ride the kiddie rides they're over there you can do the bumper cars you can to do the merry go round you can go with mister toad's wild ride you can go throw darts at the balloons maybe you'll win maybe you won't she says she screams but if you want to

ride the real wild ride

with me just get in get on let's go this ride ain't going to stop until this ride ain't ever going to stop never i said das aiight my kind of ride my kind of trip spinning wheels baby just got to go round get on around gotta go gotta go til the hemlock flows

i'm going to wear my madras shorts my wife beater tee shirt oh the irony my checkered vans i'm gonna go in style

kids you can have the house be nice to each other catch you on the flipside and all that

 

 

Days

and then there are those days where the horizons are endless where her curvature is so gentle smooth where she simply is beautiful simply is

standing on top of the church of the roof of the southend rowing club little deck overlooking the goddess herself the hot sun battling it out with the cool winds vying for her attention her blessings playful battle they both know we all know she gives of herself freely asks for nothing wants for nothing

gotta stop every now and then land a big old wet thank you kiss on her slippery lips

hey sugar momma i just want to say thanks

looking the other way the streets of san francisco a quinn martin production starring a big green loveliness lawn stretching up reaching up to grab the buildings leaning back against russian hill the hills

it's the week after memorial day it is officially tourist season yes it is thank you spend yo money yo monies take a nibble wonder out loud what it might be like to live here yeah i'm sorry i'm bragging can't help it sometime something about this place makes me feel like

the luckiest man on earth

had meetings downtown i don't think that i've ever worked in a place that actually made something i mean something that you can touch when i was in high school college yeah i picked tobacco we made a product i baled hay we made a product i worked in construction i built a house after college though i only

sell ideas

concepts bits bytes pictures so ephemeral they are not really pictures only fleeting temporal images fluttering by

and then there are days when the world is beautiful

and yes they were beautiful a sight to behold i got on the trolley the effe line got on at the ferry building stop old remodeled antique streetcar from italy she boasts mahogany seats going down the side and advertisements in italian something about em and ems something about phone cards calls to the you esse as beautiful as she was she the trolley she did not grab my attention the way those wondrous fleshy globules of love that pressed upward and inward supported by some mysterious new contraption some magical mechanical system created within the depths of the laboratories of victoria secrets pressed upward and inward whatever happened to

lift and separate

pressed upward and inward just the way i'd grab them anyway that's the way they'd look me facing her a beautiful tit in each hand lifting pressing just that lustful bit lips pressed on lips she against the smooth painted concrete wall me lifting penetrating she riding yes they grabbed my attention

kept my attention

they being exposed to me by a blonde rightwing midwestern republican exposed to me with wanton flaunting of the scriptures that she back in her real life in her normal life in oklafuckinghoma that she uses to beat us that is me and mine family friends you and yours beat us over the fucking heads with the goddamn rolled up biblical newspaper she comes to our town she can yeah let loose fuck oklahomans who might live the next town over lean and pray with them when they get back home i want to lean over and just let a long fat a long phat thread of saliva slide from my puckered lips down her blasphemous breasts onto her out of town sluttery but i don't i just look over at her

smile wink say hi

where ya from she says oklahoma i said i was in tulsa this year she said she lived not far from there i said i really like that stature they got in tulsa that one in front of oral roberts university oh are you the one of the praying hands she said yeah it's nice i got off the train walked into the club stripped down slid into my speedo my cock still at republican readiness state the speedo a little confining i needed some cold water so i took a swim in the bay

six o'clock kay you esse effe does an abrupt transition from of montreal to the chinese community news hour in cantonese i listen anyway about five minutes in i hear the words ess you vee ford toyota then more cantonese then california berkeley they kay you esse effe they do chinese community news hour every weekday at six on saturdays they do the turkish community radio my main man ates pronounced ah tesh ates he plays wild whirling dervish turkish mystical tripping shit me and ates we used to work together way back when were babies in california he from turkey me from south georgia sometimes i felt that he felt closer to home than i did he's a fucking wild whirling dervish of a dude but that is on saturday that's not now because now is thursday six pea em

the tapioca tea place has this new machine i needed to stop off on clement street on the way home had a jones for a tapioca tea this place sells gelato and tapioca tea back in the eighties it was this little italian gelato place now it's an asian gelato and tapioca tea place they got this new machine she throws the tea milk ice tapioca i like tapioca milk green tea throws it all together in a plastic cup machine slaps seals sucking sound of air escaping top onto the plasticlear container shakes it up slides it out on this rail like it was ejecting a see dee take the straw

poke it in

hisses while the air escapes like her breath when my tongue hits that special place

walking down crowded crowded clement street people running in and out of the dim sum shops last minute shopping at the vegetable stands fish laid out on big tables of ice tall brunette russian lady dressed to the nines walking toward me yelling into her phone dah-ling i'm not in new york i'm san francisco i'm in new york next week guys unloading produce from the truck speaking spanish to each other asian lady holding a broom pointing directions speaking i think it's cantonese steady drumbeat reverberating from both a passing rice rocket and the aikido studio with open door johnson you standing out in front of his office he's an accupuncturist i like him he has roger daltry's autographed picture in his office johnson and roger arms around each other roger with a one line testimonial i agree johnson is cool magic hands magic needles makes you drink these herbs that taste worse than the mushrooms i used to gather from cow fields in south georgia the kids run from the house whenever i return from johnson's i don't blame them johnson says hello nods his head i say

hi

and then there are days where the world she is just fucking gorgeous

sometimes i feel like i'm the luckiest man on earth i slurp down my tea love the feel slimy feel of the little tapioca balls popping up the fat straw i wonder if this is what it feels like to give a blow job that climatic moment don't know don't know hey not that there's anything wrong with it slurp down my tea toss the empty cup into the trash can on the corner get in my car my trusty toyota avalon my old person's car yeah yeah nobody but old people drive avalons i don't care i'm done with cars you have to get into i only want a car i get onto it's got a killer fucking stereo though

and then there are days where the world she just fucking rocks

slow slow ride back home me and stella we got this opposite styles of driving around the city i like to go real real slow window down arm out the window i don't give a shit if the fuckers honk at me usually it's the fuckers that drive like stella like a fucking bottle rocket from stop sign to stop sign scares the living shit out of me on the highway though i like to cruise settle back and open her up stella she goes slow go figure slow ride home up sixth across geary meander through the inner richmond heading out toward funston make my way back home

stella's home she's sitting in the garden in the swing with friend and friend's daughter wearing cute kit carson fringe leather boots i want my oldest son to fall in love and marry her and then there are days where the world is just so fucking righteous

i smile down from the deck they smile up in unison from the garden

and then there are days and all that